When we feel unhappy, troubled or depressed being disturbed by some “problems” or about some “difficult” decisions that we need to make, actually all these are because we don’t know what we really want, and we have fear of taking the responsibility for the consequences of our actions and the responsibility of making a decision. Before we get what we think we want, and after we got what we think we want, we are not satisfied, not happy, and in doubts, because we don’t know what we really want.
It doesn’t matter how we identify ourselves by specie, gender, sexuality, family background, social group, race, nationality, culture, thinking, belief, religious status, education type or level, social status, appearance, living condition, life style, personality, characteristic, behavior, financial status, possession, relationship, and etc, it makes no difference when we are ignorant about the truth of who we really are, and we attach strongly onto all these qualities to be who we are, as all these identifications with many qualities of names and forms to be who we are, is not really who we really are. And ignorance doesn’t stop at the point where we identify ourselves with all these qualities to be who we are, but this life existence, confidence, self-worth, happiness and meaningfulness are also being determined by all these qualities.
For example, we are determined by the impermanent conditions and abilities of the physical body and the mind with certain qualities of names and forms to feel good and confident about ourselves, or we are determined by other people’s judgment towards ourselves to feel good and confident about ourselves, or we are determined by other people’s liking, friendship, support, agreement, acknowledgment, affirmation and social interaction to feel good and meaningful about life and ourselves, or we are determined by how intelligent or how attractive we are to feel confident about ourselves, or we are determined by whether we are able to do what we like to do, and no need to be doing anything that we don’t like to do to feel happy or not. And so on…
There’s nothing wrong with all these worldly identification, thinking and behavior coming from the egoism. But we are not free, being disturbed and affected by the impermanent changes of qualities of names and forms to be meaningful, happy and confident or not. And this will affect our relationship with our own self and with others. As whether we will like and accept ourselves or not, and whether we will be satisfied in a single intimate relationship or not, is being affected and determined by the forever dissatisfaction about ourselves, as well as the craving for having the qualities that we would like ourselves to have, but we don’t have in the reality.
When we practice yoga and meditation, we are letting go of all these attachment and identification with impermanent qualities of names and forms.
The entire life existence is free from being determined by all these impermanent qualities of names and forms to be meaningful, happy and confident.
When egoism and ignorance disappears, there’s no “I” existing. There’s no necessity to be identified as ‘somebody’ with certain qualities of names and forms, to feel good or confident about oneself, or “I”. The mind is peaceful as it is because it is no longer being determined by any qualities of names and forms that is impermanent, that is not in the control of “I”, that is dissatisfying, that is not who it really is…