Receiving compassionate love and actions from compassionate beings is not necessarily something that we would like it to be, or the way that we expect it to be…
Some people might think that being compassionate and performing compassionate actions mean showing sympathy towards other beings’ suffering and unhappiness, or to show loving kindness to suffering and unhappy beings is by giving them whatever they like and want, to make them feel happy by satisfying their desires of wants and don’t wants.
But being compassionate towards other beings’ suffering is not about giving them what they like and want to satisfy their desires of likes and dislikes, wants and don’t wants, to give them momentary satisfaction and happy feelings, but it’s about provide them with what they truly need, which is the gift of Dharma or wisdom, that will free them from the root cause of suffering or unhappiness, which is ignorance and egoism. And the practice of Dharma or knowledge to be free from suffering is not necessarily something that they like and want, nor it is something that they can agree with due to the deep rooted ignorance, nor it is an easy and pleasant journey for the egoistic mind in the process of eliminating ignorance and egoism. The ego will resist and reject.
A compassionate teacher of Dharma has no fear to give something that is good and beneficial but it might appear to be something quite unpleasant or disagreeable to the students, for the well-being of the students and the entire universe. The Dharma teacher doesn’t take away the things that the beings think and believe are what making them unhappy and suffering, to make them stop suffering or stop being unhappy. The Dharma teacher also doesn’t give the students what they like and want to make them feel good and happy by satisfying their desires of wants and don’t wants, which will be detrimental for the well-being of the students by promoting and strengthening the ignorance, egoism, attachment, desires, greed, craving and aversion. Even though the students might be unhappy, dissatisfied, angry and hating the teacher for not giving them what they like and want. This might appear to be something really unpleasant for the student, but this is real compassionate love from the teacher to the student. Although the student might not see it as an act of loving kindness, as they will be dissatisfied and unhappy about not getting something that they like and want.
The only way to be free from suffering and unhappiness is to allow the beings to know the truth through their own effort and self-realization, to be free from ignorance, egoism, attachment, desires, greed, craving and aversion.
If the ‘teacher’ is impure and has selfish desires, and is attached to his or her actions and the result of the actions, then this teacher will give the students whatever they desire, like and want, to make them feel happy and satisfied, so that the teacher will be able to get something in return that he or she likes and wants from the students, whether the teacher is aware or unaware that this will be detrimental for the well-being of the students. The students might feel happy and satisfied for getting what they like and want. The students might see it as an act of loving kindness, because they are getting what they like and want, but indeed it is exactly opposing to what wisdom and compassion really are.
It’s up to the students whether they want to have strong determination and will-power to let go of their desires of craving and aversion, and self-disciplining themselves for their own good. Or they can continue to fulfill their never ending desires of craving and aversion to get momentary satisfaction and happy feelings, but the root cause of dissatisfaction, unhappiness and suffering is still there.
A father out of passionate love for the child, might gives the child whatever the child likes and wants, as the father doesn’t want the child to be unhappy, and the child might be happy and satisfied after getting what the child likes and wants, but this will be detrimental for the well-being of the child.
A father out of compassionate love for the child may not give the child what the child likes and wants that will be harmful to the child, not that the father wants the child to be unhappy, even though the child might be unhappy and dissatisfied for not getting what the child likes and wants, but this will be beneficial for the well-being of the child.
A compassionate being who has realized selflessness and compassion, who is free from ignorance and egoism, might be criticized by those who are unhappy and dissatisfied because they are not getting what they like and want, but this compassionate selfless being has no fear, nor be affected, nor disturbed, nor determined by both the positive and negative reactions coming from any beings towards the selfless compassionate actions being performed for the well-being of all beings.