“Where is ‘I’?”

“Where is ‘I’?”, or more relevantly, the question should be “Where is the mind?”

If the mind doesn’t exist, it isn’t here or there. It’s nowhere.

If the mind exists, then it is ‘here’, where it is.

No matter where the mind is, it is always ‘here’, and it’s impermanent. The mind is where it is and constantly changing. It can be anywhere and everywhere. It wanders back and forth between the past memories, to the present experiences being busy with the perception of names and forms through the senses, and to the future imaginations, and alternately, it goes into dream state and deep sleep state.

The question of “Where is ‘I’?” is invalid, as there is no ‘I’. What the mind thinks is ‘I’, it’s actually the mind itself being ignorant of itself and generates the idea of ‘I’.

If the mind knows itself and if ‘I’ exists, surely this mind or this ‘I’ knows where the mind is, or where ‘I’ am. One doesn’t need to ask another person, “Where is the mind?” or “Where am ‘I’?”

If the mind is ignorant about itself and the existence of ‘I’, then even by getting an ‘answer’ from somebody or from reading books and scriptures, the mind will still be in doubt about the truth of the answers, or information, or knowledge that it gets from books, scriptures and other people, because all these answers, information and knowledge is not coming from one’s self-realization. We will never know whether it’s true, or not.

It’s normal to have many questions, or doubts, or curiosities in the mind towards existence, mind perception and consciousness when one starts to walk on the path of yoga. One starts to explore into what is unknown to the mind.

Even though we gathered many information and knowledge through reading many books about yoga and meditation, and hearing other people talking about the teachings of yoga and their realization through direct experience, it won’t remove the ignorance or doubt in us. We shouldn’t blind-believe in all the information and knowledge that we gathered from here and there. We need to inquire the truth through our own direct experience. Upon self-realization, all doubts will disappear naturally.

Through meditation, the mind connects with the truth. But an impure and fluctuating mind cannot see the truth, even though the truth is always here, in this moment. And hence, yoga practice is here to help to purify and silent the mind, to prepare and allow the mind to meditate. When meditation happens, there’s no reading books or asking questions to another person to get some answers, but it’s seeing the truth as it is from within the mind itself when the mind is pure and calm.

If ‘I’ don’t know where ‘I’ am, or who ‘I’ am, then ask ourselves and contemplate, why ‘I’ am ignorant of where and who ‘I’ am.

Om shanti.

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