Just be kind and friendly without expecting kindness and friendliness in return

“Be kind and friendly to others and others will be kind and friendly in return. Treat others the way that we want to be treated.” This is the common saying that is wide spread or shared among people or on social medias.

Many yoga enthusiasts or practitioners/teachers might not be aware of this is not part of the yoga practice, but actually it’s empowering egoism and ignorance, hindering the mind from realizing yoga of selflessness/non-attachment/non-identification/non-craving/non-aversion/non-expectation. Just like, most people who like to perform some kind of yoga practice would expect certain health and fitness benefits coming from performing the yoga practice regularly. There’s nothing wrong with that kind of intention/expectation, but it’s moving away from what yoga practice is about. People would feel disappointed or demotivated once they think they are not getting what they expected to be getting.

Very few would just be kind and friendly to others, and allowing others to be what they are, to be kind or unkind, to be friendly or unfriendly towards oneself or others, without attachment/judgment/craving/aversion towards all the different treatments from different people, without craving towards certain pleasant or agreeable treatments, without aversion towards certain unpleasant or disagreeable treatments, without being disturbed or determined by other people’s different states of the mind that manifest in particular behavior, action and reaction, without expectation that everyone should think/feel/behave/act and react in certain ways, or everyone should treat one another in certain ways that the mind thinks and believes how it should be.

This doesn’t mean that we are supporting/encouraging people to behave ‘badly’ or ‘wrongly’, but it’s not to be disturbed or determined by other people’s behavior that we think is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’. By trying to change or condemn other people’s behavior that we think is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ won’t stop people from behaving in such way, but actually it empowers the ‘motivation’ of those who deliberately want to behave in such way to gain certain ‘response’, or ‘satisfaction’, or ‘accomplishment’, or ‘revenge’, or ‘excitement’, where they would be more motivated to behave in such way.

Just like, by having good intention telling ignorant minds that they are ignorant won’t stop the minds from being ignorant, but most probably, it might provoke more ignorant reactions in these minds under the influence of ignorance.

Most people who would behave in a destructive way won’t care at all about being condemned or punished or hurt. Their minds are not able to think and act rationally, where they don’t care about their own personal life and death, not to say about other people’s life and death. It would make them feel more happy and fulfill if other people are being ‘disturbed’ or ‘hurt’ by their intentional destructive behavior or action. If people are looking for peace, they would deliberately generate unpeacefulness in the world. If people are looking for non-violence, they would generate more violence in the world. If people are looking for good economy, they would induce bad economy.

It has to come from everyone’s own self-realization and self-control to not behave in certain ways with the intention to disturb or hurt or annoy others. If those who are being disturbed or hurt by other people’s destructive behavior would also behave in a destructive way with the intention to hurt them in return, that doesn’t help the world to have less ignorant destructive behavior. It only adds more unrest, disturb, anger and hatred, and the consequences of that into the world. Everyone keep trying to hurt one another to redeem something, or to express/relieve their frustration, agitation, anger and hatred.

Being deep rooted in worldly social cultural thinking, belief, values and practice, people expect all human beings should treat one another in certain ways that they think and believe as ‘the right and good way’. People feel disappointed or offended or hurt if some other people don’t behave in such way.

Most minds/people want to feel “I am someone special and important and meaningful in other people’s heart or life” to feel meaningful in life or to feel ‘I am existing’ and don’t want to feel ‘meaningless’ or ‘non-existence’. Oneself is discriminating ‘oneself’ that one doesn’t like and doesn’t want to be.

People would feel being ‘unloved’, ‘unnoticed’, ‘unattended’, ‘left out’, ‘low self-esteem’, ‘undeserving’, ‘disrespected’, ‘discriminated’, ‘belittled’, ‘humiliated’, ‘insulted’, ‘hurt’, ‘disappointed’, ‘angry’, ‘unworthy’, ‘unappreciated’, ‘abandoned’, ‘unheard’, and so on, when they think they are not receiving the ‘rightful’ and ‘deserving’ treatments that they expect how themselves or everyone should be treated, or when they think they are receiving treatment from others that they think is ‘wrong’ or ‘undeserving’.

There’s nothing wrong with the worldly social cultural practice where ‘good and kind’ people would try their best to give other people what they want and don’t give other people what they don’t want in order to ‘make’ other people feel ‘loved, supported, good and meaningful’ and to ‘make sure’ that they don’t feel ‘unloved, unsupported, bad and meaningless’, with the intention to stop/prevent people from behaving in a destructive way towards themselves and others. Just that it doesn’t help people to be free from the root cause of suffering and destructive behavior – ignorance and egoism and impurities, where people are being determined by the gratification of the desire of craving and aversion, by getting what they like and what they think they deserved, and not getting what they don’t like or what they think they don’t deserved, and vice versa, to feel loved, supported, good, happy, satisfied, worthy, confident and meaningful, or not.

The teaching and practice of yoga emphasize on dispassion and renunciation which will lead towards the realization of compassion. Being dispassionate is also being compassionate towards the mind perception of an impermanent and selfless worldly life existence of all kind of agreeable and disagreeable names and forms that are not necessarily the way that the mind would like it to be. Abandoning the worldly habitual egoistic actions and reactions based on worldly social and cultural thinking/belief/values/practice.

Many people are unwittingly attached onto the worldly social and cultural thinking/belief/values/practice, influencing how they think, feel, act and react, being passionate towards ‘changing’ the world to be the way that they would like it to be, or ‘building’ a world that they think is better than ‘this one’, or preparing themselves to ‘enter’ into a ‘world’ that is ‘all good and nothing bad’. People feel frustrated and hurt by the world that is not the way that they think and believe how it should be, and hence, they aspire to change or control the world to be the way that they think and believe how it should be, the way that they desire it to be. That’s the beginning of all kinds of discrimination.

All lives/beings/objects exist in this space due to the selfless intentionless support from the sun, the air, the water, the earth and the space. The sun, the air, the water, the earth and the space don’t have an ego being there to discriminate anyone, to have any desire/intention/expectation to change/control the world to be in certain ways. But somehow, there’s the idea of ‘I’ or the ego existing in the form of thinking in human minds being there discriminating everyone and everything into good and bad, right and wrong, should and shouldn’t, having the desire/intention/expectation to change/control the world to be in certain ways, or more precisely, to be ‘my way’, and being interfering/intrusive/oppressive/violent towards ‘other ways’ that are not in line with ‘my way’, that are opposing/obstructing ‘my way’.

“Come to us. Join us. You won’t be alone. We will help you and support you. We will be there for you. We will grow strong and powerful as one big community and we can conquer the world to be ‘ours’. But, you must listen to our instructions. You must obey, follow, support and propagate our belief, vision, values and practice.”

“Support us by voting for us to be in power. And we will do our best to help you to achieve what you want. If you didn’t support or vote for us, why should we do anything for you?”

It’s everyone’s freedom for what they want to think/believe/follow/participate/associate with/support, or how they feel/behave/act and react, but for those who want to practice yoga, who want to realize yoga, who really want to be free from the inevitable suffering of the mind perception of a worldly life existence that is subject to impermanence and selflessness, who really wish for peace in the world, they can try to inquire into this teaching.

Just do one’s best to perform ‘wholesome actions’ that might benefit the world but without the expectation towards how people should be treating one another or behaving in certain ways, and let go the intention/desire/expectation to change or control the world to be the way that ‘I’ think and believe how it should be. Respecting everyone being what they are, as they are. If all minds know this, there won’t be discrimination, hatred, offensiveness, interference, intrusion, oppression, prejudice, violence or war existing among all the different names and forms. But most minds are ignorant of this. Whether aware or unaware, everyone try to be in power and in control of others. And that’s the way the world is. Ignorance bring along discrimination which lead to anger and hatred that lead to deeper ignorance and more discrimination and more anger and hatred, it never ends.

Peace to all, starting from oneself, this mind, this existence.

Need not conquer the world. Just need to conquer this mind.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s