The important teachings/practice of yoga

These are the important teachings/practice of yoga to subjugate the modifications of the mind, to remove the veil of ignorance, to eliminate the idea of ‘worldly existence’, to annihilate the ego/the idea of ‘I’, to transcend quality of names and forms/duality/time, space and causation/cause and effect, but yet, these teachings/practice are also being disliked/disagreed/criticized/ignored/denied/abandoned/least practiced by many of the yoga enthusiasts/practitioners/teachers.

There’s nothing wrong with many people who ‘do yoga’ on regular basis just want to attain some physical and mental benefits from performing the yoga practice and engaging in some yoga community activities to feel good, healthy and meaningful. Only those who have firmed determination or intense yearning for liberation can understand and treasure the importance of these teachings/practice.

For the minds that are deep rooted in worldly ideas, all these teachings/practice are being seen as ‘abnormality’, ‘selfishness’, ‘craziness’, ‘wrongfulness’, ‘negativeness’, ‘inappropriateness’, ‘unhealthy’, ‘regression’, ‘inhumane’, and etc. But in fact, all these teachings/practice practically and effectively lead to compassion/peace.

Silencing the modifications of the mind annihilating ignorance and egoism is the great compassion of embracing and upholding peace and harmony in the world.

If one single person in the world attained ‘silence/annihilation of the mind’ or ‘liberation from ignorance and egoism’, there’s less a person in the world generates ‘impure intention’, ‘egoistic desire/ambition’, ‘ill-feeling’, ‘disappointment’, ‘hurts’, ‘anger’, ‘hatred’, ‘fear’, ‘ill-thinking’, ‘ill-will’, ‘discrimination’, ‘prejudice’, ‘corruption’, ‘unrest’, ‘violence’, ‘disturbance’, ‘negativity’, ‘disharmony’, ‘tension’, ‘unhappiness’, ‘meaninglessness’, ‘destructive behavior’, ‘ignorant actions and reactions’, and so on, into the world.

It’s the most practical effective way to contribute peace and harmony into the world.

People might think and believe that they are kind and compassionate beings who embrace and uphold ‘peace and harmony in the world’, while aspiring or trying to create/empower/influence a society/community that behave in certain ways that they think and believe is ‘good’, ‘right’, ‘positive’ and ‘appropriate’, but unwittingly, everyone keeps contributing ‘unrest’ into the world out of the name of ’embracing and upholding peace and harmony in the world’, by fighting against those whom they think are destroying or obstructing ‘peace and harmony in the world’.

Most people want ‘peace and harmony’ that comply to some requirements and conditions, influenced by their own particular personal/social/cultural/religious/spiritual/philosophical/political way of thinking/belief/values/vision/practice/living, that unwittingly contributing to all kinds of discrimination and wars.

For those who truly wish for ‘peace and harmony in the world’ as it is, they can inquire and implement these teachings/practice of yoga –

Dispassion/indifference/dissociate/disinterest

Renunciation towards worldly attachments/identifications/affairs/ideas/objects/thinking/belief/values/practice/habits/relationships/connections/associations/mingling/interactions/activities/actions and the fruit of actions

Abandoning/renouncing worldly enjoyments of the senses/stimulation of the mind/longing/ambitions/fame/status/authority/pride/supremacy/glory

Desirelessness

Aloneness

Solitude

Seclusion

Silence

Transcending duality of good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative, meaninglessness and meaningfulness, praise and condemn, gain and loss, heat and cold, pleasantness and unpleasantness, happiness and unhappiness, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, appropriateness and inappropriateness

Uninfluenced by the past desirable/undesirable experiences and the future imagination/anticipation/speculation/projection

Allowing all and everyone to be what they are, free from expectation/interference/control towards all human beings that ‘all human beings should and shouldn’t think/believe/feel/behave/act and react in certain ways’

Respecting the law of nature/impermanence

Inquire the truth of ‘selflessness’

Annihilation of the modification of the mind/the existence of ‘I’

“Passionately loving the world and claiming ownership/responsibility/authority towards the condition of the world by expecting/desiring/aspiring the world to be in certain ways that the minds think and believe how it should be, and being disturbed, frustrated, offended and hurt by the condition of the world that is not the way that the mind would like it to be, doesn’t help the world to have peace.

Letting go of passionate love towards the world, without claiming ownership/responsibility/authority to expect/desire/aspire the condition of the world to be in certain ways that the minds think and believe how it should be, without being disturbed, frustrated, offended or hurt by the condition of the world that is not the way that the mind would like it to be, and have peace in oneself, is the selfless compassion that will help the world to have peace.”

By performing all kinds of ‘yoga practice’ regularly for many years, but without implementing all these teachings/practice, the mind will still be disturbed, frustrated, offended and hurt by something that the mind doesn’t like, doesn’t want and doesn’t agree with. There’s no peace in this mind.

It’s everyone’s freedom for what they want to do with their life and what they want/don’t want to think and believe. People don’t have to implement these teachings/practice of yoga, if they don’t like or don’t agree with these teachings/practice of yoga.

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Fighting for peace and looking for love?

Peace is always there as it is, never increase nor decrease, undetermined by the mind perception of a worldly life existence of names and forms that is subject to impermanence and selflessness.

The moment the mind is free from peacelessness/disturbance/impurities/ignorance that veiled the mind from knowing thyself/seeing the truth of names and forms, which is selflessness/namelessness/formlessness/attributelessness, unlimited by time, space and causation, peace is there as it is, selflessly, desirelessly, intentionlessly and effortlessly.

This unconditional peace is unconditioned, unlimited and undetermined by qualities of names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses, transcending all kinds of pleasant and unpleasant condition or situation that are impermanent and selfless, where there’s no ‘I’ existing desire/aspire/intentional to be influencing or controlling all the names and forms to be exactly the way that ‘I’ desire it to be, or the way that ‘I’ think and believe how it should be.

If ‘peace’ is something ‘separated’ from the perceiver, where it has to be achieved/attained with effort by fighting for it, by fighting against certain qualities of names and forms that ‘go against’ or ‘oppose to’ peace, being determined by the presence of particular pleasant and agreeable name and form, condition and situation, or the absence of particular unpleasant and disagreeable name and form, condition and situation, then that’s not the unconditional peace as mentioned in the teachings of yoga, that is not something ‘separated’ from the perceiver.

Effort is required in the process of eliminating ignorance and impurities to allow the mind to see/know thyself, but peace is always there as it is, effortlessly, regardless of whether the mind is free, or not free from ignorance and impurities.

Being at peace, or the mind is peaceful as it is, being undisturbed/undetermined by ‘badness’, ‘wrongfulness’, ‘negativeness’ and ‘unrest/hatred’ is already ‘helping’ the world to have less a peaceless/disturbed/hateful being who is disturbed, dissatisfied, angry and hating towards ‘badness’, ‘wrongfulness’, ‘negativeness’ and ‘unrest/hatred’, whether intentionally or unintentionally generates more unrest/hatred in the world by ‘fighting’ against ‘badness’, ‘wrongfulness’, ‘negativeness’ and ‘unrest/hatred’ to achieve/protect what the mind thinks and believes as ‘goodness’, ‘rightfulness’, ‘positiveness’ and ‘peacefulness’.

It’s the same as ‘love’.

Due to ignorance, the minds/people think and believe that ‘love’ is a particular quality with particular name and form to be found in relationship/connection among one another, to be achieved/attained/possessed through effort, or sacrifice, or offering, or virtues/merits, goodness and kindness, or appreciation and gratitude, or ‘good karma’, or sharing, or giving/receiving via thoughts, actions and speech, being motivated by the aspiration to be looking for ‘love’ by growing/cultivating/developing/empowering ‘love’, longing/hoping/expecting/desiring to be receiving/giving/sharing ‘love’ among one another through relationship/connection/contact, regardless of living beings, animals, plants, or objects, to attain the sense of liveliness, joyfulness, warmth, worthiness, or meaningfulness.

The mind thinks, believes and says –

“Everyone/We/I need love.”
“Everyone/We/I want love.”
“Love is sharing/giving/receiving among all and everything.”
“Without love, life is joyless and meaningless.”
“I love/don’t love you.”
“I/You deserve/don’t deserve to love or be loved.”
“I love you more/less.”
“My love is pure/impure.”
“I feel/don’t feel love.”
“I am loved/unloved.”
“I have/don’t have love.
“No one loves me. I am so loveless and lonely.”
“We need to love others (or give love to others) so that others won’t be loveless and lonely.”

There’s nothing wrong with that, but the mind is not free, still being conditioned by particular thinking pattern under the influence of ignorance.

This ‘love’ is being perceived/acknowledged as a quality of name and form, just like ‘feeling’, ‘action’, ‘thought’, ‘sensation’, ‘sight’, ‘sound’, ‘smell’, ‘taste’, ‘energy’, ‘water’, ‘air’, ‘temperature’, and etc, that is being perceived by the mind, that is separated/distinct from the perceiver, where there’s notion of ‘I’ perceive/don’t perceive the object/quality of name and form, or ‘I’ have/possess or don’t have/don’t possess particular quality of name and form.

This ‘love’ is limited by ‘quality’ and ‘quantity’, conditioned by time, space and causation.

The mind feels dissatisfied, disappointed, hurt, angry, jealous, loveless, lonely, left out, unsupported, joyless, meaningless, unworthy, undeserving, depressed, miserable and suffer when it thinks ‘love’ is absence, or unavailable, or not enough, or not the way that the mind desires it to be, or not the way that the mind thinks how it should be.

Contemplate on this, realize unconditional love and peace, beyond ‘quality’, ‘quantity’, ‘relationship’ and ‘connection’, transcending time, space and causation.

Self-righteousness is not yoga practice (2)

Teaching yoga, or practicing yoga, is not about ‘I am an unique spiritual being’ being chosen by ‘God’ or ‘Guru’, being initiated/assigned/given a righteous ‘duty’ from ‘God’ or ‘Guru’, being ‘self-righteous’ for helping ‘God’ or ‘Guru’ to patrol/judge/control/criticize/discipline/punish other people’s actions and reactions, or to be interfering with other people’s thinking/belief/behavior/practice that are different from one’s thinking/belief/behavior/practice, that the mind thinks and believes as ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’, and interfering with other people’s different ways of life, actions and reactions, mental and physical activities that one’s mind doesn’t like and doesn’t agree with, that one’s mind thinks and believes as ‘contradicting’ with the teachings and practice of yoga.

As all these ‘thinking’ and ‘actions’ coming from the mind acting and reacting towards the world of names and forms that the mind comes in contact with/perceives/experiences/acknowledges are nothing but the play of egoism born out of ignorance. Although most minds would think and believe that they are being the ‘good spiritual beings’ acting on behalf of ‘God’ or ‘Guru’, or upholding what they think and believe is ‘supremacy’, ‘authority’, or ‘righteousness’.

Teaching yoga is merely sharing the knowledge derived from one’s direct experience and self-realization, to give guidance to those who come to them to seek guidance to be learning and practicing yoga, while allowing everyone to be what they are, whether they want to take the guidance, or not; whether they want to learn and practice yoga as it is, or not; whether they want to develop awareness, correct understanding, initiative and self-discipline to discipline their own minds, or not; whether they are aware of all the egoistic urges/intentions behind all their actions and reactions, or not; whether they want to restrict their own mental and physical activities, to purify their minds to be free from egoism, impurities and restlessness, to silent the modifications of the mind, or not; and whether they want to perform inquiry towards the truth of everything and be free from ignorance, or not.

There’s no egoistic idea/desire/intention of “I want to be a yoga teacher to teach yoga to other people.” or “I am a yoga teacher performing action of teaching yoga to other people.”

Practicing yoga is also about allowing everyone and everything to be what they are, that everyone and everything are impermanent and selfless, while ‘working’ diligently to free one’s mind from ignorance and the consequences of ignorance.

Those who understand this, either they don’t need to perform any practice at all as they are peaceful as they are where their minds are free from ignorance, egoism and impurities, or if they are aware of the existence of ignorance, egoism and impurities in the minds, they will mind their own practice to discipline, to purify and to silent their own minds, while allowing all the other minds to be what they are, to be evolving as they are.

If ‘God’ or ‘Guru’ exists, they are ‘the selfless/mindless silent witness of pure consciousness’, being undisturbed/unaffected/uninfluenced/unchanged/unbothered by all the existing impermanent and selfless names and forms of different thinking/belief/behavior/way of life/actions/reactions of everyone and the consequences of that, or whatever is happening in ‘the world of ignorant egoistic impure minds functioning under ignorance, egoism and impurities’. If ‘God’ and ‘Guru’ exist, they don’t have egoism, or the ‘self-righteous’ urge or intention derived from egoism to be interfering with/patrolling/judging/controlling/criticizing/disciplining/punishing anyone or anything. If they have egoism, or the ‘self-righteous’ urge or intention derived from egoism to be interfering with/patrolling/judging/controlling/criticizing/disciplining/punishing everyone or everything, making sure everyone and everything ‘to be the way that I think it should be’, then they are not really God or Guru.

Such like some people would inflict anger, hatred, ill-will and violence towards others out of the excuse of ‘upholding peace’ or ‘upholding righteousness’. This is not yoga practice, although it’s everyone’s freedom for what they think and believe, and how they behave, act and react.

“In the name of God, I condemn you to hell.” or “These are bad and evil people, I hope that they will be punished with great suffering that they deserved.” Quite many minds/people would think and speak in such way ‘proudly’. No wonder, many of the saints and sages in the past renounced the world and retreated from the society/community to avoid wasting energy from dealing with such affairs.

Those who truly practice yoga, they withdraw the outgoing tendency of the mind, turning the mind inward to be ‘working’ diligently towards attaining/reaching that ‘pure consciousness of the selfless/mindless silent witness’, where they go beyond the egoistic urge/intention of interfering with/patrolling/judging/controlling/criticizing/disciplining/punishing anyone or anything.

If one is aware of this ‘self-righteous’ thinking and behavior existing in one’s mind, and is aware of oneself constantly feels dissatisfied, or frustrated, or disturbed, or angered, or offended by other people’s different thinking/belief/practice/behavior/way of life/actions and reactions that one’s mind dislikes and disagrees with, and couldn’t help oneself being over-powered by the ‘self-righteous’ urge or intention to be interfering with other people’s different thinking/belief/practice/behavior/way of life/actions and reactions, then either one can try to help oneself by developing will-power to free one’s mind from this self-righteous thinking and behavior, or one can try to seek ‘professional helps’ from the many ‘psychiatric professionals’, to have peace in oneself and stop generating ‘disharmony’ and ‘unrest’ into the surrounding environment, being free from restless impurities of dissatisfaction, disappointment, anger, hatred, jealousy, possessiveness, authoritarianism, offensiveness, defensiveness, hurts, hostility, animosity, aggressiveness, violence, ill-will, ill-thinking, fear and worry. That itself is a great contribution towards peace in oneself and peace in the world.

Look after one’s mind before it’s too late where one might be completely losing the reasoning power that allow yoga practice to be taking place, even if one is interested in yoga, or strongly believe in ‘God’ or ‘Guru’. One might be doing some form of ‘yoga practice’ or ‘rituals’ regularly, but couldn’t help being busy looking at other people and shouting at other people, “You people should be like this and shouldn’t be like that,” expecting everyone and everything ‘to be the way that I think it should be’. That’s everyone’s freedom of thinking and behavior. It’s everyone’s freedom whether to look after one’s mind, or they prefer to be busy minding about other people’s minds, and losing the sanity of their own mind being lost in ignorance.

Be free.

Learn how to free the mind from all kinds of disturbs and hurts

When a mind/person feels disturbed, unhappy, angered, disappointed or hurt by something, usually the impulsive reaction will be expecting some kind of sympathy or empathy from other minds/people, and looking forward to be comforted, loved, looked after, acknowledged, or supported by other minds/people. And most minds/people would also think and believe that that is how people should react towards other people’s state of minds that are disturbed, unhappy, angry, disappointed or hurt, to be there to be listening to what they think is disturbing their minds and comforting these suffering minds/people by showing them love, care, acknowledgement and support, to be sharing and lessening their ‘unhappiness’ or ‘suffering’, in terms of generating a ‘loving kindness’ society/community. There’s nothing wrong with that and it might give the troubled/disturbed/unhappy/angry/disappointed/hurt minds certain degrees of relieve, to feel better, but it doesn’t help them to be free from the root cause of the suffering from disturbs, unhappiness, anger, disappointment, or hurts. Instead, most probably it might be unintentionally empowering or feeding the attachment, clinging, craving or expectation in people’s mind.

Just like giving sugary fizzy drinks to the unhappy kids might make them feel happy, but they would crave for more sugary drinks to make them feel happy. As once the craving is being gratified, it would only intensify the craving. And if their craving is not being gratified, they would be more unhappy. That’s not freedom at all.

There’s clinging, craving and expectation towards receiving sympathy, empathy, love, affection, care, acknowledgement, or support from others, even though there’s nothing wrong with receiving sympathy, empathy, love, affection, care, acknowledgement, or support from others, as this is what most worldly minds/people believe and expect the society/community/family/relationship/friendship should be, but the mind is not free. If for some reasons, the mind doesn’t get what it thinks and believes it deserves to be getting from others, it will be more disturbed/unhappy/angry/disappointed/hurt and would do things that would hurt itself and/or others. This is not freedom.

As well as most egoistic minds would want to feel that they are needed by others to feel good and meaningful about themselves and their life existence, that they are capable to give and show love, care, affection, sympathy, empathy, acknowledgment and support to others who ‘need’ them. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that, just that these minds would feel bad or meaningless if for some reasons they think that they are not needed by some others, or when they think that other people do not appreciate what they give. This is not freedom.

Only those who can go beyond worldly thinking and belief can penetrate the real meaning of this teaching and practice. It doesn’t mean that everyone in the society will become ‘cold’, ‘heartless’ or ‘lack of sympathy/empathy’, but the minds are free from clinging, craving or expectation towards receiving the ‘deserving’ love, care, affection, sympathy, empathy, acknowledgment and support from others to feel loved, cared, worthy, comforted, acknowledged or supported, to feel good and meaningful, by knowing what is going on in the mind and be free from ignorance and egoism, and thus, be free from all kinds of disturbs, unhappiness, anger, disappointment, or hurts. One doesn’t need anyone to be there to be listening to one’s ‘troubles’, ‘unhappiness’ or ‘hurts’, to be ‘comforted’, as there’s no trouble, unhappiness or hurt existing in this liberated mind. One also can give and show sympathy, empathy, love, care and support to others without the attachment, identification, craving, intention or expectation in order to attain good and meaningful feelings towards oneself or one’s life existence. That is true freedom and compassion.

Yoga practice such like cleansing technique, breathing exercises, yoga asana exercises, chanting, prayer, or concentration practice, can also give the effects of relieving certain degrees of disturbs, unhappiness, anger, disappointment or hurts in the minds, but again, it doesn’t stop the mind from continuing be disturbed, unhappy, angry, disappointed, or hurt by something that they don’t like, don’t want and don’t agree with, that they think is bad, wrong, disturbing, unhappy, frustrating, disappointing, or hurtful, if the mind is not free from ignorance, egoism and impurities.

Those who truly want to learn and practice yoga, it’s not about doing some forms of yoga practice to be getting some conditional and impermanent physical/mental/emotional benefits or getting some momentary relief from what they think is painful suffering, but they learn how to free the mind from the root cause of all kinds of suffering, of disturbs, unhappiness, anger, disappointment, or hurts.

Naturally, the society will have more physical/mental/emotional healthy minds/people, where the minds/people realized unconditional love from within, know how to look after themselves and love others unconditionally, being free from clinging, craving, aversion or expectation.

But not many minds/people would understand and appreciate the greatness of this freedom. Most minds/people believe in and want a society/community/family/relationship/friendship that builds on ‘needing each other’ all the time to feel love, good, happy and meaningful, and to feel less lonely or to escape loneliness. That’s how people are being taken advantage by others who have selfish intention being in a relationship or friendship. Even in the world of yoga, some yoga teachers or so called ‘gurus’ take advantage of the yoga students for their vulnerability when the students longing or expecting to be receiving comfort, sympathy, empathy, kindness, love, care, affection, acknowledgment, or supports from the yoga teachers or ‘gurus’.

It’s everyone’s freedom for what they think or don’t think, believe or disbelieve, want and don’t want. People don’t have to practice yoga of freeing the mind from ignorance, egoism and impurities, but just want to do some yoga practice regularly and engaging in social/community activities, to attain some momentary physical/mental/emotional benefits or relief, to attain some kinds of conditional and impermanent good, positive, loving, happy and meaningful feelings.

Work diligently to free the mind from ignorance, egoism and impurities, if one wants to attain or realize this freedom.

Silence upon realization of selflessness and compassion

As the world evolves towards what most people believe as higher quality of life with higher standard of living, somehow the teaching/practice of ‘silence’ in Yoga and Buddhism is being neglected, or abandoned, or denied, or criticized. And there’s nothing wrong with that, as that’s the way it goes.

It’s not easy for the impure egoistic passionate minds (that are being conditioned by worldly ideas, thinking and belief to think and behave, to aspire and inspire, to live life, to socialize and interact, to accumulate connections and relationships, to feel happy, confident, proud and meaningful) to penetrate the subtle meaning of silence. In many cases, silence would be perceived by the worldly egoistic passionate minds as ‘cowardliness’, ‘non-action/improper action’, ‘weakness’, ‘submissive towards other’s people bad and wrongful behavior’, or ‘passively encouraging evilness, bad ideas and wrong doings’. There’s nothing wrong with this common worldly thinking and belief, action and reaction.

Only the dispassionate minds could penetrate the subtle reason/meaning/action/practice of silence in the teachings of Yoga and Buddhism, where it’s beyond restraining the speech organ, physical and mental activities, or restraining the senses from going out chasing after the objects of the senses, but real silence comes naturally and effortlessly out of compassion upon realization of selflessness knowing what is going on in the mind of all the restless and selfless modifications of the mind perception of names and forms, egoism and the by-products of egoism, separateness, all forms of impurities, actions and reactions, intentions and expectations, aspirations and inspirations, enjoyment and suffering.

It’s being aware of and acknowledging the ignorance in one’s mind. It’s seeing the ignorance in this mind which is not any different from the ignorance in other minds. It’s seeing the truth of “the impermanent and selfless worldly life existence of the body and mind functioning and perceiving all the impermanent and selfless names and forms” as it is.

The highest Yoga Sadhana is forbearance to forbear the mind perception of unpleasantness, disagreement, undesirable experiences, constraint, selfless changes, difficulties, obstacles, challenging condition and situation, insult, humiliation, threat and hurt without violence, animosity, ill-will, anger and hatred, which include non-craving, non-aversion, non-justification, non-retaliation, non-contentious, non-bashing, non-criticism, non-judgment, non-expectation, and so on, upon experiencing what the worldly thinking and belief categorizes as stupid, selfish, unjust, bad, undeserving, wrongful, hurtful, unkind, harsh, cruel, unreasonable, provoking, or mischievous treatment/behaviors from others, especially if it’s coming from those whom we love, who are in some kind of relationship with us.

Upon realization of the truth of names and forms, the mind perception of suffering and the root cause of suffering vanished, or being free from ignorance and the consequences of ignorance – all kinds of suffering, all forms of yoga practice including forbearance become irrelevant or useless. It is needless to practice forbearance to forbear anything, as the mind has gone beyond all the modifications of the mind perception of duality, separateness and the worldly ideas, thinking, belief, actions and reactions. It is needless to practice yoga to free the mind from ignorance, egoism, impurities, restlessness and suffering, as the mind is free as it is.

After going through a prolong and unpleasant process of mind purification, the minds that are rendered pure and quiet are able to see the truth of names and forms as it is, realizing oneness/non-separateness among all the different qualities of names and forms, and the relation between silence, selflessness, compassion and non-violence, being free from the ego (the idea of ‘I’ exists as an individual being) and egoism, and the mind perception of ‘hurt and suffering’ vanished. There’s no need to ‘forbear’ something ‘hurtful and suffering’. There’s no need to be ‘healed’ from ‘hurt and suffering’. The mind is resting in silence peacefully, naturally and effortlessly, even under the great criticism/attack from many other passionate egoistic minds (those who identify themselves as ‘good people’ empowered by the sense of self-righteousness) in the world discouraging, condemning and disagreeing with the action/practice of silence.

There’s nothing wrong with most minds think and believe that people/human beings/mankind should react with ‘Intolerance and discouragement towards bad and wrongful treatments/behaviors’, to fight back and attack the ‘bad and evil beings’, to obtain revenge/justice/relief for themselves being ‘the victims’ of other people’s bad and wrongful treatments/behaviors, as that is how all the impure egoistic minds understand and being conditioned to react in certain ways upon receiving treatments/behaviors from others that the minds perceive, think and believe as ‘undeserving’, ‘shouldn’t’, ‘wrongful’ and ‘bad’.

To contemplate on this teaching –

Let’s say, there’s a couple who think they love each other and are committed to be a couple.

One of them behaves in the way that most minds/people would perceive, categorize, think and believe as terrible, bad, wrongful, or hurtful.

It’s normal that the other person will react and feel dissatisfaction, disappointment, unhappiness, anger, or hurt by the partner’s bad, hurtful and wrongful behavior.

Out of dissatisfaction, disappointment, unhappiness, anger, or hurt, this person has the urge to complain to other people about “My partner is so bad and terrible. He/she is like this and like that. He/she did this and did that. I love him/her so much. I am so nice to him/her, but this is how he/she behaves in return for my love and care. I don’t deserve to be treated like this.”

This person has the freedom to express his/her frustration, dissatisfaction, disappointment, unhappiness, anger and hurt, to do and say what he/she wants to do and say, but then it only indicates that this person doesn’t love the partner at all, when he/she would think and react in such way, and would do and say things that would hurt the partner in return out of the frustration, dissatisfaction, disappointment, unhappiness, anger, or hurt that he/she strongly convinced that it’s caused by the partner’s being unloving and unkind with his/her bad, undeserving, hurtful and wrongful treatments/behaviors.

If the partner reacts with dissatisfaction, disappointment, unhappiness, anger, or hurt towards this person’s action, and would react by doing and saying something that would hurt this person in return, then this also indicates that the partner also doesn’t love this person.

Both of them don’t love each other at all. They only love what they desire. They would have ill-thinking and ill-will towards each other, and would hurt each other when they don’t get what they like and want from one another, but they are getting what they don’t like and don’t want from one another.

If a person loves the partner, he/she will love him/her as he/she is, and won’t do or say anything with the intention of deliberately to ‘hurt’ him/her, even when the person receives so called ‘bad’, ‘wrongful’, or ‘hurtful’ treatment/behavior from the partner.

If the partner loves this person, he /she won’t be doing anything intentionally to ‘hurt’ his/her partner or the relationship. He/she will love the partner as he/she is, even when knowing that this person doesn’t love him/her, as he/she would do and say things to ‘hurt’ their partner when they are dissatisfied, unhappy, angry or feel hurt by something that they don’t like and don’t want. The partner won’t retaliate by doing or saying anything with the intention of deliberately to ‘hurt’ him/her in return for this person’s action of complaining to other people about the partner being ‘bad’ and ‘terrible’.

There’s nothing wrong when one knows/realizes that oneself doesn’t love the partner or anyone. “Because I don’t love you, that’s why I would do things that will hurt you and our relationship, or I would want to hurt you in return for thinking and believing that I am hurt by you and your bad, wrong and hurtful behavior.”

The thinking of “I love you so much, I am so loving to you. I deserve to be loved by you and I should be receiving loving treatment. I am very disappointed, unhappy, angry and hurt by your bad, wrongful and hurtful behavior that I don’t deserve. I need to tell other people about how bad, wrongful and hurtful you are, because it will make me feel better by getting support and agreement from others to also agree with me that I am good and you are bad, that I am right and you are wrong, and that’s why I am the ‘victim’ of other people’s hurtful behavior and I need/deserve support and sympathy from others.” is the cause of misery arising in the mind.

The realization of “I am unhappy, dissatisfied, disappointed, frustrated, angry and hurt is because I don’t love you, I only love what I like and want, and I am not getting what I like and want from you, but I am getting what I don’t like and don’t want from you.” is what allows the mind to be liberated from misery. There’s no need to ‘complain’, or ‘condemn’, or ‘redeem justice’.

It doesn’t mean that one allows other people to abuse one’s body and mind, but one doesn’t need to be disturbed or determined by other people’s unloving or unkind treatments/behaviors. One can let go of the partner and the relationship in peace. It’s when one couldn’t let go the partner and the relationship for some reasons, and hence, one is peaceless and suffering being ‘engaged’ or ‘stuck’ in a loveless relationship that is not the way that one would like it to be.

The thinking of “We are kind and loving people, and believing that we love other people and are kind to other people, but at the same time, thinking that we are somehow hurt by other people whom we ‘love’ very much. Believing and expecting that all mankind ‘should’ be loving and kind to one another.” is the cause of ‘hurt and suffering’. If we truly know what is love and how to love, we love everyone as they are, we love everything as it is. There’s no ‘hurt and suffering’ regardless of how other people think, feel, behave, act and react, and how things are.

It’s great liberation either when the mind realizes it doesn’t love anyone, and there’s nothing wrong for being loveless, or when the mind realizes unconditional love and loves everyone and everything as it is, without expecting everyone and everything has to be in certain ways, that everyone has to be kind and loving to one another, or has to be grateful, appreciative and thankful for goodness and other people’s love and kindness. One is free to love and give without possessiveness and ill-feelings/resentment, being free from egoism of attachment, identification, craving, aversion, judgment and expectation.

There’s nothing wrong when other people don’t love us, or don’t want to love us. Everyone has the freedom to love, or not to love anyone. Just that when there’s no love, people will do and say things that will hurt one another when their minds are being over-powered by dissatisfaction, disappointment, feelings of hurt and anger, including hurting people whom they think they ‘love’ very much, whether intentionally or unintentionally. There’s nothing wrong if we feel unhappy, disappointed, hurt and angry when we are not loved by those whom we would like to be loved by them, and we would feel hurt by their unloving treatments/behaviors towards us, but that thinking and reaction is merely due to ignorance in our minds.

It’s the craving and clinging towards ‘love and affection’ and ‘receiving loving treatments’ and ‘attaining a loving relationship’ to feel love, happy, confident, worthy, proud and meaningful about ‘I’ and ‘my life’ that causing suffering exist in the mind.

We feel disappointed, unhappy, angry and hurt is because things are not the way that we would like it to be. We didn’t get the ‘love and affection’ that we expect to be receiving from others, or be loved/sympathized/accepted/acknowledged/understood/supported/treated by others the way that we would like it to be, the way that we think it should be, to attain the sense of love, self-esteem, purpose, confidence, pride, happiness, completeness and meaningfulness, to be ‘who I am’.

If ‘yoga teachers’ truly want to help other beings/people to be free from the suffering of hurts/disappointment/anger/painful sorrow/grief/resentment/fear/loneliness/depression, it’s not by empowering the ignorance and egoism in others through ‘being a good listener listening to their complaints’, or ‘giving them the love and support that they are looking/craving for’, or ‘prescribing them with different types of healing practice’, or ‘being the healer that claimed to be able to heal their minds/souls from all kinds of hurts and suffering’, but it’s to give them the Dhamma, that will allow them to purify their own minds via their own self-effort and self-discipline, to attain self-realization to realize/see the truth of all the names and forms, to know what is going on in the mind, to know the root cause of all suffering, and free their own minds from ignorance, egoism and impurities. Buddha didn’t ‘take away’ the ignorance and impurities from people’s mind, neither did Buddha ‘heal’ other people from their hurts and suffering, but Buddha just gave the Dhamma to those who came to him for ‘guidance how to be free from suffering’, and allowing everyone whether to practice and free their own mind from ignorance and suffering, or not.

Those who live in the truth, they are peaceful and free as it is, regardless of whether there’s love or loveless towards others who restlessly act and react under the influence of ignorance, egoism and impurities, and would hurt oneself and others whether intentionally or unintentionally. There’s no need to forbear, or forgive, or let go anything, as they are free from disturbed, disappointment, resentment, anger, hatred and hurts. It’s everyone’s own responsibility to be aware of what is going on in their own minds and whether there’s self-control over their own actions and reactions, or not.

Be free.