Broken /complicated relationship involving third party?

Broken/complicated relationship involving third party is not something uncommon nowadays.

There might be different kinds of situation exist in any relationship. It doesn’t matter what kind of situation, most people would think and believe and expect that two people should commit themselves to be loyal and faithful towards one another being in a ‘committed’ relationship, if oneself has no sincerity to be ‘committed’ and ‘faithful’ in a relationship, then just don’t get into a relationship with anyone, as whether wittingly or unwittingly, oneself will cause ‘hurts’ to the other person in the relationship with oneself. But in many relationships, two people have love for each other in the beginning, and want to be in a relationship together, but after some time, the ‘feeling of love’ is less, or is not there anymore, where they don’t feel love towards the partner anymore, and either they don’t want to be in the relationship anymore, or they would want to look for the ‘feeling of love’ in other love affairs/relationships with other people.

For example, A and B is in a so called ‘committed’ relationship, while B is also having an open or secret love affair/relationship with C.

In such relationship that involved ‘third party’, most people would think that A is the ‘victim’, while B and C are the ‘selfish and immoral’ bad people that are hurting A. A should deserved sympathy and support from others, while B and C should be blamed and condemned for being ‘selfish and immoral and hurtful’. But for those who understand ‘love’ and ‘relationship’, no one is being a ‘victim’ and no one is being ‘selfish/immoral/hurtful’ bad people in a broken/complicated relationship.

There’s neither right nor wrong in ‘love relationship’ even if it’s ‘broken’, whether with or without involving third party. It’s just a relationship didn’t turn out to be the way that most people desire/expect it to be, as well as there’s no ‘love’ in such relationship. And there’s nothing wrong if there’s no ‘love’, or an expected relationship is non-existing, or a relationship is discontinued, for any reason.

If there’s love in the relationship, the relationship won’t be broken/damaged, it’s either a relationship that continues or discontinued/came to an end, due to any reason, in peace. If there’s love from oneself towards the partner, one will have loving kindness, self-control and decency to not commit in any behavior that would be ‘hurtful’ to the partner in the relationship with oneself, whether wittingly or unwittingly. Even if there’s ‘feeling of love’ in the relationship in the beginning, and the ‘feeling of love’ is impermanent, it will change and disappear. But, if there’s love, then even though sometimes the ‘feeling of love’ is less, or not there anymore, one will still be kind to the partner in the relationship with oneself, and would not behave in the way that would be ‘hurtful’ to the partner, not because of the sense of ‘commitment’ or ‘obligation’ towards a ‘committed’ relationship, but out of loving kindness.

There’s nothing wrong either if one feels hurt/disappointed/angry thinking and believing oneself is being ‘a victim’ of other people’s unloving/unfaithful/hurtful/immoral behavior. Everyone has the rights and freedom to feel what they want to feel and react the way that they want to react. But then, one must also understand that if one feels hurt/disappointed/angry, it’s because one doesn’t really love the partner as he/she is, one only loves one’s desire and expectation towards the partner and the relationship has to be in certain ways. One has desire and expectation towards the relationship and the partner to be in certain way, and when things turn out to be not the way that one desires or expects, when one is getting something that one doesn’t like, doesn’t want and doesn’t agree with, and when one is losing what one likes (the relationship and the partner being in certain ways that one desires it to be), or what one likes (the perfect faithful loving partner/relationship) is no longer available, or is ‘disturbed’, or has changed into something else, that’s why one feels hurt/disappointed/angry. It’s not because the partner or the relationship is ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’ that cause the ‘hurts/disappointment/anger’ in oneself, but, it’s because one doesn’t love the partner as he/she is, but only loves what one likes/desires/expects.

It’s how everyone/human beings/the untrained egoistic minds react towards ‘ungratified desires’ of “This is not what I like and want and expect.”, or “I am not getting what I like and want, but I’m getting what I don’t like and don’t want.” or “This is something wrong/bad/hurtful/undeserving happening to me.”

If there’s correct understanding towards ‘love’ and ‘relationship’, then there would be no hard/hurtful/bitter feelings where people can let go the relationship in peace, one won’t see oneself as ‘a victim of the unfaithfulness/betrayal of the partner in a broken relationship’ or ‘a victim of the intrusion of the lover of one’s partner that causes my relationship to be broken’. And there’s no blame or condemn towards the partner and the lover that they should be guilty for being ‘the selfish bad people that cause this relationship to be broken/damaged’.

This is really nothing to do with whether the partner and his/her lover in the love affair/relationship are being ‘selfish’, ‘unfaithful’, ‘disloyal’, ‘immoral’, ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’, or not. It’s about how oneself thinks, understands, feels and reacts being in such situation, where one’s partner is involved in a love affair/relationship with another person.

If a person would commit in a love affair/relationship with another person other than the one in a relationship with oneself, whether wittingly or unwittingly, it indicates that this person doesn’t really ‘love’ the partner. He/she loves it’s desire for satisfaction. When he/she is not satisfied with his/her partner, when he/she is not getting what it desires/expects from the partner, he/she will be looking for something/someone else to gratify its desire for satisfaction, love, passion, pleasure, interaction, or lust. And that’s common ‘human’s nature’, or the normal behavior of the untrained minds under the influence of desires.

Everyone has the rights or freedom whether they want to love anyone, or don’t want to love anyone, or stop loving someone, or having too much ‘feeling of love’ that needs to be shared with many people at the same time, or want to be in many different love affairs/relationships at one time, or whether they are satisfied/dissatisfied being in a ‘committed’ relationship with somebody.

If one truly loves the partner in the relationship with oneself, one will love this person as he/she is, even if the partner doesn’t love oneself, or stop loving oneself, or being ‘the god/goddess of love’ who needs to ‘love’ as many people as possible. One doesn’t need to be in a relationship with this person, to possess this person to be mine. One doesn’t expect this person to be faithful and loyal, or expect the love from this person doesn’t change, or won’t disappear, or ‘should be for me only’. One allows this person to have or don’t have the ‘feeling of love’ for oneself, or stop loving oneself, or doesn’t love oneself, or prefer to love and be with someone else. One can let go the person that doesn’t love oneself, or let go a relationship that doesn’t have ‘love’ or couldn’t continue, in peace, and allow this person to love and be with other people that he/she loves.

One won’t feel hurt/disappointed/angry towards the partner who doesn’t love oneself or towards the relationship that is not the way that how most people would like it to be. Because if the partner loves oneself, then there’s no need any expectation from oneself, without the sense of obligation to be committed and be faithful in a relationship with oneself, but out of loving kindness towards oneself, he/she will have self-control and decency, where he/she will not do anything that would cause ‘hurts’ or ‘damages’ to oneself or this relationship, not even behind one’s knowledge, regardless of whether there’s the ‘feeling of love’ existing, or not. One would know how to ‘keep a respectful distance’ with others who have the tendency to ‘fall in love’ with oneself, as one doesn’t need to look for satisfaction in ‘love affairs/relationships’.

One cannot expect ‘love’ from anyone, but allowing others whether to ‘love’ oneself, or not. One cannot expect how other people should love oneself or behave in a relationship, but allowing others to love us the way as they are. There’s no such thing as “Once you love me and being in a ‘committed’ relationship with me, you will have to be forever faithful and loyal to me, and loving me only.” And if, one realizes that the partner doesn’t love oneself, one can choose to continue or let go the relationship, in peace, without bitterness. There’s neither right nor wrong, either way.

There’s even no need of ‘forgiveness’, if one truly loves the partner as he/she is, even if the partner is being unfaithful, as one is undisturbed/unhurt by the partner’s ‘unfaithfulness’ at all, but would let go of him/her and the relationship. One doesn’t feel bad about oneself or thinking that one is not good enough, if the partner doesn’t love oneself, if one knows love.

Unfortunately, many people couldn’t let go in peace, and be disturbed by hard/hurtful/bitter/angry feelings that doesn’t help to make things better, and might do things that hurt oneself or the partner and the people whom the partner loves.

There’s nothing wrong if one realizes that oneself doesn’t love the partner, and one should be honest and straightforward to let this person knows that “I don’t love you.” or “I don’t feel love for you.” or “I don’t want to be with you in a relationship.” or “I want to be with someone else.” This honesty won’t hurt, if people are matured enough to understand ‘love’ and ‘relationship’. But it would cause deeper ‘hurts/disappointment/anger/hatred’ by being untruthful to oneself and the partner, pretending that one loves the partner very much, but in truth, one doesn’t love the partner, and one won’t be satisfied being with that partner, and would try to find satisfaction in some other love affairs/relationships with other lovers. People who are matured enough would let go the person whom they love very much to be with the people whom this person loves, in peace. That’s love.

When two people don’t hurt one another out of dissatisfaction/disappointment/anger/hurts, then even though there’s no ‘feeling of love’ from one or both of them, or they are not in a relationship, that’s love. Where/what is love, if one or two people keep hurting each other out of feeling of hurts/anger/disappointment being in a relationship that is not the way that they like it to be?

If people are not matured enough to accept ‘honesty’ or ‘the truth’ in peace, when people whom they think they love very much are being honest and straightforward telling them that “I don’t love you.” or “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.” or “I want to love and be with someone else.”, then it’s their own responsibility if they don’t like that honesty or the truth, and react with feeling hurt/disappointed/angry for losing what they like and want, or not getting what they like and want, but getting what they don’t like and don’t want. And this relationship won’t be peaceful and harmony anyway, even if they continue to be in a relationship, because they don’t really love whom they think they love very much. There will be lots of ‘tension’ and ‘unhappiness’ derived from ‘ungratified desires’ and ‘expectation’ in this relationship all the time.

Be free, to love or be loved, or not.

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The important teachings/practice of yoga

These are the important teachings/practice of yoga to subjugate the modifications of the mind, to remove the veil of ignorance, to eliminate the idea of ‘worldly existence’, to annihilate the ego/the idea of ‘I’, to transcend quality of names and forms/duality/time, space and causation/cause and effect, but yet, these teachings/practice are also being disliked/disagreed/criticized/ignored/denied/abandoned/least practiced by many of the yoga enthusiasts/practitioners/teachers.

There’s nothing wrong with many people who ‘do yoga’ on regular basis just want to attain some physical and mental benefits from performing the yoga practice and engaging in some yoga community activities to feel good, healthy and meaningful. Only those who have firmed determination or intense yearning for liberation can understand and treasure the importance of these teachings/practice.

For the minds that are deep rooted in worldly ideas, all these teachings/practice are being seen as ‘abnormality’, ‘selfishness’, ‘craziness’, ‘wrongfulness’, ‘negativeness’, ‘inappropriateness’, ‘unhealthy’, ‘regression’, ‘inhumane’, and etc. But in fact, all these teachings/practice practically and effectively lead to compassion/peace.

Silencing the modifications of the mind annihilating ignorance and egoism is the great compassion of embracing and upholding peace and harmony in the world.

If one single person in the world attained ‘silence/annihilation of the mind’ or ‘liberation from ignorance and egoism’, there’s less a person in the world generates ‘impure intention’, ‘egoistic desire/ambition’, ‘ill-feeling’, ‘disappointment’, ‘hurts’, ‘anger’, ‘hatred’, ‘fear’, ‘ill-thinking’, ‘ill-will’, ‘discrimination’, ‘prejudice’, ‘corruption’, ‘unrest’, ‘violence’, ‘disturbance’, ‘negativity’, ‘disharmony’, ‘tension’, ‘unhappiness’, ‘meaninglessness’, ‘destructive behavior’, ‘ignorant actions and reactions’, and so on, into the world.

It’s the most practical effective way to contribute peace and harmony into the world.

People might think and believe that they are kind and compassionate beings who embrace and uphold ‘peace and harmony in the world’, while aspiring or trying to create/empower/influence a society/community that behave in certain ways that they think and believe is ‘good’, ‘right’, ‘positive’ and ‘appropriate’, but unwittingly, everyone keeps contributing ‘unrest’ into the world out of the name of ’embracing and upholding peace and harmony in the world’, by fighting against those whom they think are destroying or obstructing ‘peace and harmony in the world’.

Most people want ‘peace and harmony’ that comply to some requirements and conditions, influenced by their own particular personal/social/cultural/religious/spiritual/philosophical/political way of thinking/belief/values/vision/practice/living, that unwittingly contributing to all kinds of discrimination and wars.

For those who truly wish for ‘peace and harmony in the world’ as it is, they can inquire and implement these teachings/practice of yoga –

Dispassion/indifference/dissociate/disinterest

Renunciation towards worldly attachments/identifications/affairs/ideas/objects/thinking/belief/values/practice/habits/relationships/connections/associations/mingling/interactions/activities/actions and the fruit of actions

Abandoning/renouncing worldly enjoyments of the senses/stimulation of the mind/longing/ambitions/fame/status/authority/pride/supremacy/glory

Desirelessness

Aloneness

Solitude

Seclusion

Silence

Transcending duality of good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative, meaninglessness and meaningfulness, praise and condemn, gain and loss, heat and cold, pleasantness and unpleasantness, happiness and unhappiness, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, appropriateness and inappropriateness

Uninfluenced by the past desirable/undesirable experiences and the future imagination/anticipation/speculation/projection

Allowing all and everyone to be what they are, free from expectation/interference/control towards all human beings that ‘all human beings should and shouldn’t think/believe/feel/behave/act and react in certain ways’

Respecting the law of nature/impermanence

Inquire the truth of ‘selflessness’

Annihilation of the modification of the mind/the existence of ‘I’

“Passionately loving the world and claiming ownership/responsibility/authority towards the condition of the world by expecting/desiring/aspiring the world to be in certain ways that the minds think and believe how it should be, and being disturbed, frustrated, offended and hurt by the condition of the world that is not the way that the mind would like it to be, doesn’t help the world to have peace.

Letting go of passionate love towards the world, without claiming ownership/responsibility/authority to expect/desire/aspire the condition of the world to be in certain ways that the minds think and believe how it should be, without being disturbed, frustrated, offended or hurt by the condition of the world that is not the way that the mind would like it to be, and have peace in oneself, is the selfless compassion that will help the world to have peace.”

By performing all kinds of ‘yoga practice’ regularly for many years, but without implementing all these teachings/practice, the mind will still be disturbed, frustrated, offended and hurt by something that the mind doesn’t like, doesn’t want and doesn’t agree with. There’s no peace in this mind.

It’s everyone’s freedom for what they want to do with their life and what they want/don’t want to think and believe. People don’t have to implement these teachings/practice of yoga, if they don’t like or don’t agree with these teachings/practice of yoga.

Fighting for peace and looking for love?

Peace is always there as it is, never increase nor decrease, undetermined by the mind perception of a worldly life existence of names and forms that is subject to impermanence and selflessness.

The moment the mind is free from peacelessness/disturbance/impurities/ignorance that veiled the mind from knowing thyself/seeing the truth of names and forms, which is selflessness/namelessness/formlessness/attributelessness, unlimited by time, space and causation, peace is there as it is, selflessly, desirelessly, intentionlessly and effortlessly.

This unconditional peace is unconditioned, unlimited and undetermined by qualities of names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses, transcending all kinds of pleasant and unpleasant condition or situation that are impermanent and selfless, where there’s no ‘I’ existing desire/aspire/intentional to be influencing or controlling all the names and forms to be exactly the way that ‘I’ desire it to be, or the way that ‘I’ think and believe how it should be.

If ‘peace’ is something ‘separated’ from the perceiver, where it has to be achieved/attained with effort by fighting for it, by fighting against certain qualities of names and forms that ‘go against’ or ‘oppose to’ peace, being determined by the presence of particular pleasant and agreeable name and form, condition and situation, or the absence of particular unpleasant and disagreeable name and form, condition and situation, then that’s not the unconditional peace as mentioned in the teachings of yoga, that is not something ‘separated’ from the perceiver.

Effort is required in the process of eliminating ignorance and impurities to allow the mind to see/know thyself, but peace is always there as it is, effortlessly, regardless of whether the mind is free, or not free from ignorance and impurities.

Being at peace, or the mind is peaceful as it is, being undisturbed/undetermined by ‘badness’, ‘wrongfulness’, ‘negativeness’ and ‘unrest/hatred’ is already ‘helping’ the world to have less a peaceless/disturbed/hateful being who is disturbed, dissatisfied, angry and hating towards ‘badness’, ‘wrongfulness’, ‘negativeness’ and ‘unrest/hatred’, whether intentionally or unintentionally generates more unrest/hatred in the world by ‘fighting’ against ‘badness’, ‘wrongfulness’, ‘negativeness’ and ‘unrest/hatred’ to achieve/protect what the mind thinks and believes as ‘goodness’, ‘rightfulness’, ‘positiveness’ and ‘peacefulness’.

It’s the same as ‘love’.

Due to ignorance, the minds/people think and believe that ‘love’ is a particular quality with particular name and form to be found in relationship/connection among one another, to be achieved/attained/possessed through effort, or sacrifice, or offering, or virtues/merits, goodness and kindness, or appreciation and gratitude, or ‘good karma’, or sharing, or giving/receiving via thoughts, actions and speech, being motivated by the aspiration to be looking for ‘love’ by growing/cultivating/developing/empowering ‘love’, longing/hoping/expecting/desiring to be receiving/giving/sharing ‘love’ among one another through relationship/connection/contact, regardless of living beings, animals, plants, or objects, to attain the sense of liveliness, joyfulness, warmth, worthiness, or meaningfulness.

The mind thinks, believes and says –

“Everyone/We/I need love.”
“Everyone/We/I want love.”
“Love is sharing/giving/receiving among all and everything.”
“Without love, life is joyless and meaningless.”
“I love/don’t love you.”
“I/You deserve/don’t deserve to love or be loved.”
“I love you more/less.”
“My love is pure/impure.”
“I feel/don’t feel love.”
“I am loved/unloved.”
“I have/don’t have love.
“No one loves me. I am so loveless and lonely.”
“We need to love others (or give love to others) so that others won’t be loveless and lonely.”

There’s nothing wrong with that, but the mind is not free, still being conditioned by particular thinking pattern under the influence of ignorance.

This ‘love’ is being perceived/acknowledged as a quality of name and form, just like ‘feeling’, ‘action’, ‘thought’, ‘sensation’, ‘sight’, ‘sound’, ‘smell’, ‘taste’, ‘energy’, ‘water’, ‘air’, ‘temperature’, and etc, that is being perceived by the mind, that is separated/distinct from the perceiver, where there’s notion of ‘I’ perceive/don’t perceive the object/quality of name and form, or ‘I’ have/possess or don’t have/don’t possess particular quality of name and form.

This ‘love’ is limited by ‘quality’ and ‘quantity’, conditioned by time, space and causation.

The mind feels dissatisfied, disappointed, hurt, angry, jealous, loveless, lonely, left out, unsupported, joyless, meaningless, unworthy, undeserving, depressed, miserable and suffer when it thinks ‘love’ is absence, or unavailable, or not enough, or not the way that the mind desires it to be, or not the way that the mind thinks how it should be.

Contemplate on this, realize unconditional love and peace, beyond ‘quality’, ‘quantity’, ‘relationship’ and ‘connection’, transcending time, space and causation.

Self-righteousness is not yoga practice (2)

Teaching yoga, or practicing yoga, is not about ‘I am an unique spiritual being’ being chosen by ‘God’ or ‘Guru’, being initiated/assigned/given a righteous ‘duty’ from ‘God’ or ‘Guru’, being ‘self-righteous’ for helping ‘God’ or ‘Guru’ to patrol/judge/control/criticize/discipline/punish other people’s actions and reactions, or to be interfering with other people’s thinking/belief/behavior/practice that are different from one’s thinking/belief/behavior/practice, that the mind thinks and believes as ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’, and interfering with other people’s different ways of life, actions and reactions, mental and physical activities that one’s mind doesn’t like and doesn’t agree with, that one’s mind thinks and believes as ‘contradicting’ with the teachings and practice of yoga.

As all these ‘thinking’ and ‘actions’ coming from the mind acting and reacting towards the world of names and forms that the mind comes in contact with/perceives/experiences/acknowledges are nothing but the play of egoism born out of ignorance. Although most minds would think and believe that they are being the ‘good spiritual beings’ acting on behalf of ‘God’ or ‘Guru’, or upholding what they think and believe is ‘supremacy’, ‘authority’, or ‘righteousness’.

Teaching yoga is merely sharing the knowledge derived from one’s direct experience and self-realization, to give guidance to those who come to them to seek guidance to be learning and practicing yoga, while allowing everyone to be what they are, whether they want to take the guidance, or not; whether they want to learn and practice yoga as it is, or not; whether they want to develop awareness, correct understanding, initiative and self-discipline to discipline their own minds, or not; whether they are aware of all the egoistic urges/intentions behind all their actions and reactions, or not; whether they want to restrict their own mental and physical activities, to purify their minds to be free from egoism, impurities and restlessness, to silent the modifications of the mind, or not; and whether they want to perform inquiry towards the truth of everything and be free from ignorance, or not.

There’s no egoistic idea/desire/intention of “I want to be a yoga teacher to teach yoga to other people.” or “I am a yoga teacher performing action of teaching yoga to other people.”

Practicing yoga is also about allowing everyone and everything to be what they are, that everyone and everything are impermanent and selfless, while ‘working’ diligently to free one’s mind from ignorance and the consequences of ignorance.

Those who understand this, either they don’t need to perform any practice at all as they are peaceful as they are where their minds are free from ignorance, egoism and impurities, or if they are aware of the existence of ignorance, egoism and impurities in the minds, they will mind their own practice to discipline, to purify and to silent their own minds, while allowing all the other minds to be what they are, to be evolving as they are.

If ‘God’ or ‘Guru’ exists, they are ‘the selfless/mindless silent witness of pure consciousness’, being undisturbed/unaffected/uninfluenced/unchanged/unbothered by all the existing impermanent and selfless names and forms of different thinking/belief/behavior/way of life/actions/reactions of everyone and the consequences of that, or whatever is happening in ‘the world of ignorant egoistic impure minds functioning under ignorance, egoism and impurities’. If ‘God’ and ‘Guru’ exist, they don’t have egoism, or the ‘self-righteous’ urge or intention derived from egoism to be interfering with/patrolling/judging/controlling/criticizing/disciplining/punishing anyone or anything. If they have egoism, or the ‘self-righteous’ urge or intention derived from egoism to be interfering with/patrolling/judging/controlling/criticizing/disciplining/punishing everyone or everything, making sure everyone and everything ‘to be the way that I think it should be’, then they are not really God or Guru.

Such like some people would inflict anger, hatred, ill-will and violence towards others out of the excuse of ‘upholding peace’ or ‘upholding righteousness’. This is not yoga practice, although it’s everyone’s freedom for what they think and believe, and how they behave, act and react.

“In the name of God, I condemn you to hell.” or “These are bad and evil people, I hope that they will be punished with great suffering that they deserved.” Quite many minds/people would think and speak in such way ‘proudly’. No wonder, many of the saints and sages in the past renounced the world and retreated from the society/community to avoid wasting energy from dealing with such affairs.

Those who truly practice yoga, they withdraw the outgoing tendency of the mind, turning the mind inward to be ‘working’ diligently towards attaining/reaching that ‘pure consciousness of the selfless/mindless silent witness’, where they go beyond the egoistic urge/intention of interfering with/patrolling/judging/controlling/criticizing/disciplining/punishing anyone or anything.

If one is aware of this ‘self-righteous’ thinking and behavior existing in one’s mind, and is aware of oneself constantly feels dissatisfied, or frustrated, or disturbed, or angered, or offended by other people’s different thinking/belief/practice/behavior/way of life/actions and reactions that one’s mind dislikes and disagrees with, and couldn’t help oneself being over-powered by the ‘self-righteous’ urge or intention to be interfering with other people’s different thinking/belief/practice/behavior/way of life/actions and reactions, then either one can try to help oneself by developing will-power to free one’s mind from this self-righteous thinking and behavior, or one can try to seek ‘professional helps’ from the many ‘psychiatric professionals’, to have peace in oneself and stop generating ‘disharmony’ and ‘unrest’ into the surrounding environment, being free from restless impurities of dissatisfaction, disappointment, anger, hatred, jealousy, possessiveness, authoritarianism, offensiveness, defensiveness, hurts, hostility, animosity, aggressiveness, violence, ill-will, ill-thinking, fear and worry. That itself is a great contribution towards peace in oneself and peace in the world.

Look after one’s mind before it’s too late where one might be completely losing the reasoning power that allow yoga practice to be taking place, even if one is interested in yoga, or strongly believe in ‘God’ or ‘Guru’. One might be doing some form of ‘yoga practice’ or ‘rituals’ regularly, but couldn’t help being busy looking at other people and shouting at other people, “You people should be like this and shouldn’t be like that,” expecting everyone and everything ‘to be the way that I think it should be’. That’s everyone’s freedom of thinking and behavior. It’s everyone’s freedom whether to look after one’s mind, or they prefer to be busy minding about other people’s minds, and losing the sanity of their own mind being lost in ignorance.

Be free.

Learn how to free the mind from all kinds of disturbs and hurts

When a mind/person feels disturbed, unhappy, angered, disappointed or hurt by something, usually the impulsive reaction will be expecting some kind of sympathy or empathy from other minds/people, and looking forward to be comforted, loved, looked after, acknowledged, or supported by other minds/people. And most minds/people would also think and believe that that is how people should react towards other people’s state of minds that are disturbed, unhappy, angry, disappointed or hurt, to be there to be listening to what they think is disturbing their minds and comforting these suffering minds/people by showing them love, care, acknowledgement and support, to be sharing and lessening their ‘unhappiness’ or ‘suffering’, in terms of generating a ‘loving kindness’ society/community. There’s nothing wrong with that and it might give the troubled/disturbed/unhappy/angry/disappointed/hurt minds certain degrees of relieve, to feel better, but it doesn’t help them to be free from the root cause of the suffering from disturbs, unhappiness, anger, disappointment, or hurts. Instead, most probably it might be unintentionally empowering or feeding the attachment, clinging, craving or expectation in people’s mind.

Just like giving sugary fizzy drinks to the unhappy kids might make them feel happy, but they would crave for more sugary drinks to make them feel happy. As once the craving is being gratified, it would only intensify the craving. And if their craving is not being gratified, they would be more unhappy. That’s not freedom at all.

There’s clinging, craving and expectation towards receiving sympathy, empathy, love, affection, care, acknowledgement, or support from others, even though there’s nothing wrong with receiving sympathy, empathy, love, affection, care, acknowledgement, or support from others, as this is what most worldly minds/people believe and expect the society/community/family/relationship/friendship should be, but the mind is not free. If for some reasons, the mind doesn’t get what it thinks and believes it deserves to be getting from others, it will be more disturbed/unhappy/angry/disappointed/hurt and would do things that would hurt itself and/or others. This is not freedom.

As well as most egoistic minds would want to feel that they are needed by others to feel good and meaningful about themselves and their life existence, that they are capable to give and show love, care, affection, sympathy, empathy, acknowledgment and support to others who ‘need’ them. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that, just that these minds would feel bad or meaningless if for some reasons they think that they are not needed by some others, or when they think that other people do not appreciate what they give. This is not freedom.

Only those who can go beyond worldly thinking and belief can penetrate the real meaning of this teaching and practice. It doesn’t mean that everyone in the society will become ‘cold’, ‘heartless’ or ‘lack of sympathy/empathy’, but the minds are free from clinging, craving or expectation towards receiving the ‘deserving’ love, care, affection, sympathy, empathy, acknowledgment and support from others to feel loved, cared, worthy, comforted, acknowledged or supported, to feel good and meaningful, by knowing what is going on in the mind and be free from ignorance and egoism, and thus, be free from all kinds of disturbs, unhappiness, anger, disappointment, or hurts. One doesn’t need anyone to be there to be listening to one’s ‘troubles’, ‘unhappiness’ or ‘hurts’, to be ‘comforted’, as there’s no trouble, unhappiness or hurt existing in this liberated mind. One also can give and show sympathy, empathy, love, care and support to others without the attachment, identification, craving, intention or expectation in order to attain good and meaningful feelings towards oneself or one’s life existence. That is true freedom and compassion.

Yoga practice such like cleansing technique, breathing exercises, yoga asana exercises, chanting, prayer, or concentration practice, can also give the effects of relieving certain degrees of disturbs, unhappiness, anger, disappointment or hurts in the minds, but again, it doesn’t stop the mind from continuing be disturbed, unhappy, angry, disappointed, or hurt by something that they don’t like, don’t want and don’t agree with, that they think is bad, wrong, disturbing, unhappy, frustrating, disappointing, or hurtful, if the mind is not free from ignorance, egoism and impurities.

Those who truly want to learn and practice yoga, it’s not about doing some forms of yoga practice to be getting some conditional and impermanent physical/mental/emotional benefits or getting some momentary relief from what they think is painful suffering, but they learn how to free the mind from the root cause of all kinds of suffering, of disturbs, unhappiness, anger, disappointment, or hurts.

Naturally, the society will have more physical/mental/emotional healthy minds/people, where the minds/people realized unconditional love from within, know how to look after themselves and love others unconditionally, being free from clinging, craving, aversion or expectation.

But not many minds/people would understand and appreciate the greatness of this freedom. Most minds/people believe in and want a society/community/family/relationship/friendship that builds on ‘needing each other’ all the time to feel love, good, happy and meaningful, and to feel less lonely or to escape loneliness. That’s how people are being taken advantage by others who have selfish intention being in a relationship or friendship. Even in the world of yoga, some yoga teachers or so called ‘gurus’ take advantage of the yoga students for their vulnerability when the students longing or expecting to be receiving comfort, sympathy, empathy, kindness, love, care, affection, acknowledgment, or supports from the yoga teachers or ‘gurus’.

It’s everyone’s freedom for what they think or don’t think, believe or disbelieve, want and don’t want. People don’t have to practice yoga of freeing the mind from ignorance, egoism and impurities, but just want to do some yoga practice regularly and engaging in social/community activities, to attain some momentary physical/mental/emotional benefits or relief, to attain some kinds of conditional and impermanent good, positive, loving, happy and meaningful feelings.

Work diligently to free the mind from ignorance, egoism and impurities, if one wants to attain or realize this freedom.