The difference between love and compassion

Question – What’s the difference between (passionate feeling of) love and compassion (selflessness)?

One doesn’t necessarily must have passionate feeling of love towards all and everyone for enabling one to be compassionate and kind towards all and everyone, or not to be hurtful and unkind towards all and everyone.

Having lots of passionate feeling of love towards certain beings or objects doesn’t necessarily mean that one will be compassionate and kind, or wouldn’t be unkind and hurtful towards all and everyone.

Without feelings of love towards anyone or anything doesn’t necessarily mean that one isn’t compassionate or couldn’t be compassionate, or one will be unkind to others, or one wouldn’t be kind to others.

Under the presence of compassion, one can be compassionate and be kind to all and everyone, and won’t be hurtful and unkind to anyone or anything, even though one doesn’t have passionate feeling of love towards certain beings or objects.

Under the absence of compassion, one even can be hurtful and unkind towards certain beings or objects that one loves out of ungratified desires and impurities of dissatisfaction, disappointment, anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, feelings of hurt, offensiveness, defensiveness, fear and worry, either intentionally or unintentionally, not to say one could be hurtful and unkind towards certain beings and objects that one doesn’t love or disagrees with, intentionally.

Even though compassion can be present or absent due to the presence or absence of ignorance, but compassion is always there, never appear or disappear, regardless of whether the mind is free or not free from ignorance, where compassion is ‘unveiled’ upon the absence of ignorance and compassion is ‘hidden’ under the presence of ignorance.

Passionate feeling of love is influenced and determined by desire of craving and aversion, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements towards the different quality of names and forms, and is conditioned by impermanence and will change, while compassion is unconditioned by desire of craving and aversion, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, beyond all the qualities of names and forms, and it doesn’t change, neither increase nor decrease.

The sun, the earth, the water, the air and the space don’t have passionate feeling of love towards all and everything for them to be there supporting all and everything to be here, selflessly, intentionlessly and ceaselessly.

Contemplate on this and realize selfless/intentionless/ceaseless compassion. Be free from attachment/craving/clinging towards conditional passionate love deriving from ignorance and egoism.

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Yearning for liberation / Longing for freedom / Survival instinct

Longing for freedom or yearning for liberation is a basic instinct that exists in all beings of different names and forms that are subject to impermanence and selflessness. It’s related to survival instinct of to be free from, or to be protected from, or to avoid hunger, thirst, injury, illness, weakness, loneliness, meaninglessness, pain, unpleasantness, sorrow, suffering, aging, decaying, death, the unknown, lacking, ceased existing, extinction or non-existence, as much as possible. Survival instinct gives rise to the desire of grasping/holding onto life and relationships as well as the desire to procreate/reproduce/multiply, which also give rise to fear, worry, dissatisfaction, disappointment, frustration, anger, jealousy, painful sorrow and so on, where the mind is unwittingly restless and peaceless, or ‘not free’, which also leads to the longing for freedom/liberation from restlessness/peacelessness.

All minds (the projector/perceiver of a worldly life existence that is subject to impermanence and selflessness) that are under the influence of ignorance are longing for freedom or liberation (from the ‘undesirable/unwanted experiences’ of a worldly life of uncertainty that the minds perceive/recognize as unpleasantness, bad, wrong, unhappiness, negativity, poverty, difficulty, hardship, failure, ungratified desire, painful suffering, meaninglessness, aloneness, separation from the loved ones, or coming in contact with the hated ones), where most minds acknowledging but not knowing why the sense of ‘being not free’ or ‘being limited/restricted/bound by something’ is always there, either consciously or subconsciously, even when all kinds of worldly desire are being gratified, or everything in life seems to be ‘all good and nothing bad’.

Most minds aren’t interested to ‘know thyself’ or to ‘be free from ignorance’ even though they might be fighting for freedom of thinking, belief, practice, living, way of life, education, movement, rights, action and speech in the world, as either they are ignorant towards ignorance, or they don’t feel the need/importance for that until great suffering/disappointment/painful sorrow arise, while some minds are initiated and be determined to ‘know thyself’, to ‘be free from ignorance’, as they are aware of ignorance and the by-products of ignorance.

Yoga of self-inquiry and self-realization is to free the mind from such ignorance. Ignorance is the root cause of all suffering/doubt/fear/limitation/bondage, and hence, there’s the ‘need’ or ‘longing’ for freedom/liberation, to be free/liberated from ignorance. Ignorance is the source of all kinds of ‘bondage’. Ignorance is not what most people think as ‘lack of knowledge’ or ‘unintelligent’ or ‘lazy/unwilling to learn’. Ignorance exists even in the highly knowledgeable or intelligent or righteous minds/people/beings where the minds are determined and influenced by impurities and egoism of attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment, expectation, agreements/disagreements based on certain cultural/religious teachings, beliefs, values and practice.

The mind that is free from ignorance, is void of ‘bondage’ being free from attachment, or grasping, or longing. It doesn’t need to be free or be liberated from anything, as it is free, as what it is. It’s ignorance that gives rise to attachment/grasping/longing that give rise to all kinds of suffering/disappointment/painful sorrow and the sense of ‘being not free’ (bondage), which give rise to the longing for freedom or the yearning for liberation.

As long as the mind is functioning under the influence of ignorance and perceives/experiences ‘suffering’ due to ignorance, there’s the ‘need’, or ‘urgency’, or ‘importance’ to free or liberate the mind from ignorance, as the mind keeps generating actions that would ‘hurt’ oneself and others, whether wittingly or unwittingly, due to ignorance and the by-product of ignorance. Upon the annihilation of ignorance, there’s neither suffering nor the end of suffering. There’s neither ‘hurts’ nor ‘the need to be healed from hurts’. That’s compassion and freedom.

Those who are interested to free the mind from ignorance can contemplate on this –

Whatever the mind believes or disbelieves, desires or doesn’t desire, agrees or disagrees with, it’s all part of the modification of the mind.

There are all kinds of different culture having their own teachings, beliefs, values and practice, that are different from one another among all the different cultures in the world.

Just like all the different religions also have their own way of teachings, beliefs, values and practice.

It isn’t about which one is true/false or better than the others, and it doesn’t matter whether the mind believes or disbelieves in ‘God existence’ or ‘self-existence’, but it’s about going beyond all kinds of teachings, beliefs, values and practice, to allow the mind to see the truth of ‘the mind perception of a worldly life existence of uncertainty that is subject to impermanence and selflessness’.

All kinds of teachings, beliefs, values and practice have their own purpose serving the many minds of different temperament and characteristic to ‘live life and behave in certain way’ and ‘have certain goal/direction in a worldly life of uncertainty’, that allows most minds to continuously living/existing under certain ‘purpose/meaning’ by constantly striving to perform actions and reaping the fruit of actions, to attain the sense of purpose, well-being, love, accomplishment and satisfaction in personal and universal achievements, that would produce constant improvements/innovations which give rise to the sense of motivation, liveliness and meaningfulness to ‘life existence’. Just like most people need to live life ‘passionately and actively’, continuously, or else, life would appear to be ‘meaningless, empty and lifeless’ for them.

There’s neither good nor bad in all these different kinds of worldly cultural/religious teachings, beliefs, values and practice, just that the minds are not free, being conditioned/limited/bound to think, expect, judge, act and react in certain way. The mind is ‘limited’ or ‘not free’, being bound by the modification of the mind under the influence of ignorance, being bound by all kinds of attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, expectation, judgment, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements based on certain cultural/religious teachings, beliefs, values and practice. And there’s great aversion and fear towards ‘going beyond’ or ‘letting go’ all those teachings, beliefs, values and practice.

Whatever being perceived by the mind as ‘positive’ or ‘negative’, ‘good’ or ‘bad’, ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, ‘meaningful’ or ‘meaningless’, ‘belief’ or ‘disbelief’, ‘agreeable’ or ‘disagreeable’, ‘pleasurable enjoyment’ or ‘painful suffering’ and so on, is in the mind, from the mind. Suffering arise and pass away in the mind, from the mind. Countless births and deaths of countless thoughts of different states arise and pass away in the mind, from the mind. And there’s nothing wrong with different minds perceive/judge things differently based on different teachings, beliefs, values and practice, just that it’s not the truth of names and forms. There’s nothing wrong with whether the mind thinks and believes “Be positive. Be optimistic. Everything is good. Nothing is bad.” or “This is positive/good/right/meaningful. That is negative/bad/wrong/meaningless.” or “I have so much love and support from so many people/beings. (My) Life is so good and meaningful.” or “I don’t have any love and support from anyone. (My) Life is so sad and meaningless.” or “Life is wonderful/painful. The world is good/bad.” Just that it’s not the truth.

Do not blind-believing, blind-following, blind-practicing, blind-propagating, blind-agreeing/disagreeing about anything.

Those who know, they don’t need to think positive, or be optimistic, or feel meaningful, or receive love, or fight for freedom, or attain peace. They are free as it is.

Contemplate, reflect, inquire, and realize.

The mind is being bound by endless desires

Endless desires constantly arising and passing away in the impure egoistic mind, where there’s an acting self cognition in the mind generates attachment or grasps onto these desires, and ceaseless actions are being performed to gratify/materialize all these desires, unwittingly being bound by or being the slave of endless desires and the ceaseless effort to be chasing after the gratification of all desires.

When one is alive, “I want to be this and that.”
“I want to do this and that.”
“I want to be happy.”
“I want to be successful.”
“I want to be positive and strong.”
“I want to be healthy.”
“I want to be somebody. I don’t want to be nobody.”
“I want to be a man. I don’t want to be a woman.”
“I want to be a woman. I don’t want to be a man.”
“I want to be famous.”
And then,
When one dies,
“I want to be this or that.”
“I want to be an angel.”
“I want to be in heaven.”
“I want to be a star.”
“I want to be a tree.”
“I want to be a cat/dog/fish/bird.”
“I want to be a man. I don’t want to be in a woman’s body.”
“I want to be a woman. I don’t want to be in a man’s body.”
“I want to be remembered.”

There’s never ending of desire to be ‘somebody’ or ‘something’ that one is not.

And everybody are being brought up in the society being encouraged or empowered to be ‘somebody’ that is not what one is. Very few just be, without attaching onto any names and forms to be ‘somebody’. From all those identifications as ‘somebody with certain names and forms’, one identifies strongly as this is ‘I’/’who I am’.

One doesn’t need to be ‘somebody’ or ‘anybody’ or ‘nobody’. One doesn’t even need to be ‘me’ whom one thinks and believes that is ‘who/what I am’.

One is just what one is. And whatever one is, it’s mere manifestation of the impermanent and selfless modification of the mind born out of ignorance, influenced by cause and effect and powered by Prana/energy and fed by endless desires. One could be very/less successful and might be ‘wearing’ many ‘name tags’ of different ‘names and forms’ in this life existence of a selfless body and thinking mind, but none of these names and forms is ‘I’. There’s no ‘I’ existing to be identifying as ‘somebody’, of this or that, of good or bad.

Go beyond the manifestation of the mind perception of a selfless worldly life existence of names and forms that is subject to impermanence, and realize oneness, selflessness, namelessness, formlessness, attributelessness, birthlessness, deathlessness.

There’s no distinction or separateness of this consciousness and that consciousness, or lower consciousness and higher consciousness, or pure and impure consciousness, or individual consciousness and universal consciousness. One doesn’t become that. All is that.

One who realizes this, is desireless/fearless/worryless/lonelyless. Desireless is the way to cut off delivering the ‘fuel’ that feeds the wheel of birth and death.

Life is uncertain and Death is certain

Life is uncertain, but death is certain.

Death is a great teacher of life existence. The healthiest, the strongest, the happiest, the wealthiest, the kindest, the greatest, the most intelligent and knowledgeable, the most talented, successful and famous, or the most loved and respected, will also have to bow down to DEATH.

There’s no guarantee about anything in this worldly life existence of uncertainty, but for sure, death will come one day, sooner or later, regardless of whether it’s natural cause or unnatural cause, intentional or unintentional, expected or unexpected, slowly or instantly, wittingly or unwittingly, having none/few/many friends, having an easy life or difficult life, being ignorant or wise, have done none/few/many good actions or bad actions, have been good or bad/right or wrong/positive or negative/happy or unhappy/healthy or unhealthy. Everyone is dying immediately following the moment of birth, but most people either don’t realize this or they trying to be positive and hope for the best. Death is not a bad or negative thing at all.

“Tribute to my big brother who had lived a difficult but great honest life, who was content and generous, who was forbearing and forgiving, who had been smiling through all the hardships, who had delivered all his duties and responsibilities as a great son, a great brother, a great husband and a great friend to many beings, who had been sacrificed greatly to be looking after our family during the difficult time, and looking after our beloved bedridden father unconditionally for many years until he left the world. And now, my big brother had left this world without any painful suffering but with a smile on his face on the 30th of June 2019. Thank you brother.”

Social conversation / talking / sharing / caring?

Most people need/like/love to talk to some other people most of the time, or even talking to themselves if other people are not available. Talking is a normal thing to do, and a common way to know, learn, express and share, or to have an activity to pass time to chase away boredom and to gratify curiosity. In many cultures in the society, it’s considered ‘rude’, or ‘impolite’, or ‘inappropriate’, or ‘wrong’, or ‘something is wrong’, if there’s silence among people (especially for a prolonged period of time), or if someone doesn’t interact with other people or doesn’t get involved in a conversation with other people around, especially those who know one another, even if someone who can’t hear or speak, or don’t speak the same language, or those who are new comers/complete strangers showing up in a place with some other people around, are also being ‘expected’ to have at least some sort of body language/facial expression/sign language/gesture to be conversing/interacting/communicating with other people. People would feel offended, or disrespected, or mistreated, if they don’t get any ‘expected’ response from people whom they talk to, where either people didn’t give any response or people talked about something that they don’t like to hear.

Many people aren’t satisfy with some people just giving a friendly non-intimidating smile to acknowledge or greet other people, but they believe and expect that all human beings need to have certain physical/mental/emotional conversation/communication/interaction/involvement with each other to build a ‘healthy’ and ‘caring’ society. Someone who keeps to oneself, who has no unfriendly discrimination or intimidation towards everyone else, but doesn’t interested in engaging in any kind of physical/mental/emotional contact/conversation/interaction/communication/involvement with anyone, is being seen as ‘wrong’, ‘selfish’, ‘unhealthy’, or ‘sicked’, by all the others who ‘expect’ certain ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’ behavior/action/reaction/interaction among ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’ human beings.

Many passionate/sociable/friendly/caring people couldn’t understand or respect there are people who prefer complete quietness/solitude or some quiet/alone time/space for themselves. People would either feel ‘bad’ or get ‘offended’ when other people reject or don’t accept their friendly invitation to meet up, or get together, or to chat.

People need/want to share ‘what I think is who I am’ and ‘how I think and feel’ with other people and they want other people to share with them ‘what they think is who they are’ and ‘how they think and feel’. Majority of the worldly so called ‘normal’, ‘healthy’, ‘friendly’ and ‘caring’ society is all about developing and empowering that ‘self-identity’ which attached and identified with certain qualities of names and forms and ‘the modification of the mind of impermanent thinking and feelings’ as ‘this is I’, that is not ‘I’ in yoga of selflessness/namelessness/formlessness/attributelessness.

For those who know each other, mostly the conversation begins with “How are you?” and then naturally will be followed by talking about the past and the future, “What have you been doing and where did you go and what’s next?” while for those first time meeting/knowing each other, it’s mostly talking about self-introduction of each other about “Who I am/who you are.” or “This is me and my name/my nationality/my life/my family/my relationship/my friends/my experience/my knowledge/my interest/my ambition/my passion/my vision/my point of view/my ideas/my talent/my skill/my achievement/my non-achievement/my success/my failure/my pride/my shame/my good/my bad/my happiness/my unhappiness/my guilt and regret, and so on. This is who I am, where I come from/where I live and what I do for living and at free time, and what I think/believe/feel/like/dislike/agree with/disagree with/want/don’t want, my good/bad/happy/unhappy experiences, and what I did in the past and will be doing in the future.” as well as talking about “This is good/better/right/positive/excellent/happy/funny/meaningful/encouraging and that is bad/worse/wrong/negative/terrible/unhappy/sad/meaningless/discouraging.” or ‘obligated manner’ of pleasant words, praise and compliment. And sometimes there will be scheming, plotting, cover-up/made-up stories telling, or hypocrisy, or lies, or gossip, or mocking, or teasing, or flirting, or criticism, or condemn, or slander, or back-biting, or argument, or intimidation, and etc.

Social conversation or talking is an intense physical/mental/emotional energy consuming process that keeps the mind ceaselessly busy and restless receiving/processing inputs and generating/delivering outputs, while all these ceaseless mind inputs and outputs generate further random mental/emotional imprints that doesn’t allow the mind to be quiet, and unwittingly empowering egoism of worldly/spiritual attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation that feeds ignorance in oneself and others.

For those who sincerely want to meditate or practice yoga to be free from ignorance, it’s all about freeing the mind from being unwittingly empowering all those names and forms, of duality, attachment, identification, past experiences/future anticipation, passionate desires, craving/aversion, judgment, comparison, expectation, restlessness, impurities, and etc, to stop feeding egoism and ignorance. And hence, the important practice of silence, renunciation, seclusion and solitude.

Without renunciation from the worldly society, one is being ‘obliged’ to meet up/get together/communicate/interact with many other people of family/relatives/friends circle/community and spend so much energy into social conversation/interaction/communication/activity with all the others around in order to ‘build’ and ‘maintain’ a ‘healthy, caring and friendly society’ that might make the mind feels ‘love’, ‘kindness’, ‘acknowledgement’, ‘goodness’, ‘positiveness’, ‘liveliness’ and ‘meaningfulness’. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t help to free the mind from ignorance and egoism, to quiet/annihilate the restless modification of the mind. Instead, the mind might attached stronger onto the sense of ‘love’, ‘kindness’, ‘acknowledgement’, ‘goodness’, ‘positiveness’, ‘liveliness’ and ‘meaningfulness’ deriving from the impermanent and selfless worldly names and forms of all kinds of attachment and egoistic identity and actions/the fruit of actions.

From the perception/achievement/notion of “Life in this world is good and meaningful.” there arise the desire of “We need to preserve and protect life in this world to stay good and meaningful.” and then there arise ‘dissatisfaction’, ‘frustration’, ‘hurts’, ‘depression’, ‘unhappiness’, ‘anger’, ‘disappointment’, ‘fear’, ‘worry’, and etc, when things are not being the way that the mind desire it to be, when there’s obstacles/difficulties/circumstances that hinder the gratification of that desire to be building/maintaining/protecting what the mind think and believe as ‘good and meaningful life in this world’. This is attachment/clinging/craving/expectation.

First, there’s an idea/thought arise in the mind, then there arise attachment/clinging onto that idea/thought and there arise desire to materialize that idea/thought to become action/creation, and then there’s possessiveness/identification/expectation/protection towards that action/creation and the result/fruit of that action/creation. If things turn out to be the way that is not what the mind desire/expect it to be, the mind feels disturbed/dissatisfied/disappointed/hurt/sad/unhappy/depressed/frustrated/angry/aggressive/violent and so on. And ceaseless random ideas/thoughts arise to counter those ‘tension’ accumulating in the mind. Restless.

Those who have firm foundation in non-attachment/dispassion, or those who know thyself/selflessness, or maybe those who think and believe “I have done and achieved everything that I desire and I can die in peace without regret.” can mix into the worldly society and perform many actions to help to build a ‘caring and friendly society’ in the world, but without being distracted or influenced by the constant restless physical/mental/emotional interaction/activity, being undetermined by the actions and the fruit of actions, being free from disturbs, hurts, disappointment, dissatisfaction, frustration, or guilt/regret. This is non-attachment/non-clinging/non-craving/non-expectation.

One can mix with many people and constantly talk about “This is my name, my nationality, my family, my friends, my relatives, my community, my past, my present, my future, my actions and fruit of my actions, my thinking/belief/culture/point of view/feelings/emotions/experiences, or this and that is happening/has happened/will be happening here and there, and so on.” as all these names and forms are what most people talk about in any conversation and where people identifying with all these names and forms as “who they think they are”, but all these names and forms are not “who I am” or ‘I’ for the minds that know thyself/selflessness.

When someone is being alone or in silence being in their own ‘space’, people around will ask, “Are you okay? Is there something bothering you? You can talk to me. I’m here to listen.”

There’s nothing wrong when people feel sad, or unhappy, or depressed, or disappointed, or frustrated, or negative once in a while, and most people feel they need to talk to someone to share their feelings and what’s bothering them, to release some tension or to get some advice. People don’t have to be okay, or satisfy, or happy all the time. But those who know what is going on in the mind, there is nothing to be sad, unhappy, depressed, disappointed, frustrated or negative about, that need to be talking or sharing with someone else, or to release any tension, as there’s no tension built up, or to get any advice, as there’s no problems.

Those who know this, they can be happy as they are, no matter what.

Those who don’t know this, they don’t have to be happy all the time and they can’t be happy no matter what. It’s okay sometimes the mind is not okay and not happy with certain things. There’s nothing wrong with that. But when they think no body is being there to share their thinking/feelings/problems, to be talking to other people, or to be listening by other people, they might feel more sad, unhappy, disappointed, depressed, frustrated, or negative. And hence, people believe that “People should be available to be talking to and listening to other people all the time. It would make people who need to talk feel better and it brings the sense of meaningfulness to those who listen.” There’s nothing wrong with that but it doesn’t free the mind from ignorance/attachment/craving/expectation. Just like giving an unhappy and crying child the sweets and sugary drinks that the child wants every time to make the child stop being unhappy and crying if the child doesn’t get the sweets and sugary drinks, doesn’t really help the child at all. There’s no freedom.

“It feels so much better talking to you. Let’s meet up regularly and talk more.” and “Talking to me can make you feel better and make me feel so meaningful. Let’s meet up and talk more often.” If for some reasons that these two people are not possible to meet up and talk as expected, both would feel bad, sad and disappointed. There’s no freedom.

Just like practicing yoga exercises and teaching yoga to other people would generate the momentary sense of well-being, goodness and meaningfulness, and if for some reasons one couldn’t practice yoga exercises or teach yoga for a prolonged period of time, one would feel frustrated, disappointed and meaningless. There’s no freedom.

Most people/minds don’t like to hear this.

“Compassion is not about giving the mind what it likes and wants, or what it craves for, to be empowering the ignorance and egoism in the mind to make it feels better, good, satisfied or happy. Compassion is allowing the suffering unhappy disturbed mind to inquire into the truth of suffering, unhappiness and disturbs, by freeing the mind from ignorance, egoism, restlessness and impurities, to see the truth of the root cause of all suffering of disturbs/hurts/unhappiness/disappointment/dissatisfaction/fear/worry, where all suffering is deriving from one’s ignorance and egoism or ceaseless egoistic mind reactions towards the gratification/non-gratification of the desire of craving and aversion. If one’s desire is being gratified by getting what one likes and wants, and not getting what one doesn’t like and doesn’t want, then the mind reacts and feels good, satisfied and happy. And when one’s desire is not being gratified, where one is not getting what one likes and wants, but is getting what one doesn’t like and doesn’t want, then the mind reacts and feels bad, dissatisfied and unhappy. It’s nothing to do with the experiences/names and forms being ‘bad’, ‘wrong’, ‘terrible’, ‘disturbing’, or ‘hurtful’.

The teachings/practice/process of freeing the mind from ignorance and egoism, it’s not something pleasant or agreeable to the ignorant egoistic mind at all, but it can free the mind from suffering deriving from ignorance and egoism.

It’s everyone’s freedom for what they want to practice, or not.

Be free.