Addicted to anger and bitterness…

Some people don’t like to be angry and bitter, and want to be free from anger and bitterness.

While some people seem to enjoy being angry and bitter from time to time, and have no interest to stop being angry and bitter.

Anger and bitterness can be addictive. Just like most minds are addicted to being busy seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching and thinking, they have to be engaging in some sorts of mental or physical activities, or else they will feel very uncomfortable and irritated. Like fish out of water. After being in a silent meditation retreat for a few days observing all the disciplines of the silent retreat, the mind will want to runaway, thinking “What am I doing here? Wasting my time. I better off going back to the outside world doing something that I like to do…”

Some people don’t feel good or comfortable, if their minds are not having certain degrees of tension for some time.

The mind is already used to certain degrees of tension occupying the mind. The mind feels comfortable having certain degrees of tension that it familiars with.

The mind doesn’t know how to allow itself to be in a relaxed state, without any tension arise in the mind. The mind identifies the relaxed state of mind without any tension as boredom or void. And this makes the mind feels anxious, or out of control about everything and whatever situation that it is encountering. The mind prefers to be in a state of tension as it makes the mind feels safe and comfortable, or be in control and feels good about itself.

By being angry and bitter can generate a particular type of sensation/tension which the mind is craving for, or addicted to.

Due to impermanence, when the anger and bitterness towards something or someone is lessening or fading away from the mind, the mind will start looking for some other objects to be the target for the mind to be angry and bitter at. The mind doesn’t feel comfortable if anger and bitterness is absent in the mind. This behavior pattern of the mind exists in those who have the habits of fault finding, moaning, grumbling, back-biting, arguing, criticizing and condemning.

The mind actually takes pleasure in the tension or sensation that come from anger and bitterness. Just like certain people take pleasure in self-harm, and they won’t feel good and satisfied unless they induce self-harm onto themselves.

If we are aware of our mind keeps falling into a state of anger and bitterness quite frequently from time to time, while knowing that anger and bitterness is unhealthy for the body and mind, but still it wants to be in a state of anger and bitterness, then know that our mind could be addicted to anger and bitterness.

We think that there is something or someone that we don’t like or disagree with that inflicts the anger and bitterness in us. We think that our existing life problems and unhappiness are the responsibility of something or somebody, but not ‘I’.

Actually it’s our own mind finds pleasure in anger and bitterness, and keeps looking for something and someone to be a target for the mind to express anger and bitterness to satisfy the craving for certain tension or sensation.

No one can free another being from this ignorance and suffering. It has to come from self-realization of what is going on in the mind and understanding the behavior pattern of the mind, and willingly want to get out from the behavior pattern of the mind, or stop all the madness.

Om shanti.

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Craving and aversion – The source of restlessness, unhappiness and suffering…

Suffering, unhappiness, anger, hatred, greed, jealousy, hurts, dissatisfaction, disappointment, frustration, pride, arrogance, fear and worry are all derived from craving and aversion.

Without craving and aversion, there is no unhappiness and suffering.

When there’s an identification with the egoistic mind as who we think we are, or “I”, and the mind is being over-powered by craving and aversion, we’ll crave for the things that we agree with, that we like and want, and we’ll reject the things that we don’t agree with, that we don’t like and don’t want.

Before we come in contact with anything that we don’t like and don’t want, but we are already full of aversion, tension, negativity, fear and worries that we might come in contact with the things that we don’t like and don’t want. So restless and have no peace.

When we come in contact with the things that we don’t agree with, that we don’t like and don’t want, we’ll get so irritated, unhappy, frustrated, angry, dissatisfied and disappointed. Even after we get rid of the things that we don’t like and don’t want, we are still not peaceful, because we attach onto the past unhappy and unpleasant experience that generates a strong aversion that we don’t want to come in contact with the same experiences or objects again. Full of tension of fear and worry that come from strong aversion.

Before we get the things that we like and want, we are restless and have no peace. We are full of dissatisfaction, greed and craving for the things that we don’t have which we like and want to have.

When we don’t get the things that we like and want, we’ll get so unhappy, frustrated, angry, dissatisfied, disappointed, and jealous towards others who have the things that we like and want.

When we finally get the things that we like and want, we’ll attach to these impermanent objects of names and forms, generate craving and clinging onto them. We have no peace even though we get the things that we like and want, because we’ll be over-powered by pride and arrogance that derived from the achievement of the things that we like and want, but at the same time, we also have fear and worry that these things that we like and want will change and disappear, and this will cause us losing the fantastic sensation of being proud and arrogant that derived from achieving the things that we like and want. We have strong rejection or aversion that we don’t want these things to change and disappear. We don’t allow them to change and refuse to let them go when impermanence strikes. This is impossible under the law of nature – the Truth of things – Impermanence. We’ll be so disappointed and dissatisfied when the pleasant sensations disappeared upon losing the things that we like and want because of impermanence.

And so, no matter we get the things that we like and want, or not, and whether we don’t get the things that we don’t like and don’t want, we will always be dissatisfied, not peaceful, restless, anxious, and have fear and worry.

If we can let go craving and aversion, we can fully enjoy what we have in the present moment now, without fear and worry of losing it or it will change. We can appreciate and enjoy everything as it is, not necessarily the way that we want it to be, but we are able to accept everything to be the way as it is, from moment to moment. Without craving for the things that we don’t have in the present moment now, and without clinging onto the things that we have in the present moment now. We also won’t have rejection or aversion towards the things that we don’t like and don’t want. We allow everything to be here existing temporary in this same space of the universe of where we are, whether it is something that we like or don’t like, want or don’t want, agree or disagree with. We allow impermanence to be happening from moment to moment. We accept the changes of the conditions and qualities of names and forms of everything as it is.

This is true freedom. Real liberation. Being free from anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, hurts, dissatisfaction, disappointment, frustration, anxiety, pride, arrogance, fear and worry.

We can have likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements. We don’t have to like the things that we don’t like, and we don’t have to agree with the things that we don’t agree with. But, without the attachment towards the things that we like and don’t like, agree and disagree with. Without craving and aversion towards all the names and forms that we like and don’t like, agree and disagree with. And thus, we will be free from all the impurities that arise due to craving and aversion.

When we don’t have the things that we like and want, but we are free from greed, disappointment, dissatisfaction or craving for these things that we like and want. We are fine, and still peaceful and happy.

If we are not coming in contact with the things that we don’t like and don’t want, there’s no fear and worry that we will come in contact with these things that we don’t like and don’t want. We are fine, and still peaceful and happy.

When we come in contact with the things that we don’t like and don’t agree with, we don’t have disappointment, anger and hatred towards these things that we don’t like and don’t agree with. We are fine, and still peaceful and happy.

When we get the things that we like and want, we don’t have fear and worry that these things will change and disappear. We will appreciate and enjoy all these things that we like and want while it is here, but we allow impermanence to be happening and able to let them go in peace when they change and disappear.

When we know the Truth of things as it is, that everything is impermanent, we won’t have strong attachment towards all these names and forms. When we know what is non-duality, namelessness, formlessness and attributeless, there is no attachment towards all the qualities of names and forms, whether we think they are good or bad. When there is no attachment, there is no need of “letting go”. There is no craving for something “good” and there is no aversion towards something “bad”. There is neither “good” nor “bad”.

Changes, impermanence, being with the things that we don’t like, separation from the things that we like and love, old age, sickness, discomfort, pain, injuries, weakness, decay, death or decomposition of this physical body are not something “bad” or “horrible”. When we stopped judging or labeling all these things as something “bad” and “horrible”, there won’t be craving for something “good”, and there’s no aversion towards something “bad” and “horrible”. And thus there is no fear, no worry. There’s no anxiety or restlessness that come from craving for the things that are being labelled as “good” and aversion towards the things that are being labelled as “not good”.

Without craving and aversion, there’s no fear and worry. Absence of fear and worry is peace.

We accept ourselves and other beings in this present moment now as we are, as they are. We are contented and peaceful. At the same time, we can perform actions for the well-beings of ourselves and other beings out of selflessness and compassion, and allow the result of our actions to be what it is and allow improvement or changes to happen naturally. Without attachment towards our actions and the result of the actions. Without selfish desires or intentions, judgment, comparison and expectation. Without the influence of likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements that come from the impure egoistic mind.

We don’t need to depend or rely on doing something “good” or not doing something “not good”, to have peace. We don’t need to be in specific “good” place or “nice” environment, to have peace. Peace is here, when there’s no craving and aversion, fear and worry. Wherever we are, whatever we do and don’t do, peace is always here in us.

When we realize the real peace in our true nature free from ignorance, egoism and impurities, we don’t need to do something or go somewhere to attain peace, or to be in peace. We don’t need to depend on doing the things that we like to do to have peace. Whatever we do or don’t do, wherever we go or don’t go, we are always peaceful as we are.

This real peace never increase or decrease, never change or disappear. This real peace is unconditional and unlimited by the impermanent condition and ability of this physical body, the state of the mind, the energy fields and elements, the actions and inactions of this body and mind. Neither does it be conditioned or limited by the qualities of names and forms that we come in contact with, or by the condition of the environment. It is beyond all the perception of names and forms and the qualities of good and bad, positive and negative.

Nothing can make us happy. Nothing can make us suffer. Nothing can give us peace. Nothing can take away the peace in us.

Letting go of attachments, craving and aversion in our everyday life whenever the mind comes in contact with the objects of the senses, is our yoga and meditation practice to realize eternal unconditional peace. This is nothing to do with whether our body is strong and flexible, or not, or in good health, or not, or whether we can perform the yoga asana poses perfectly, or not, or we can chant the Sanskrit prayers in perfect pronunciation, or not, or we know all the asana poses and their names, or not, or know about all the bones and muscle tissues in the physical body or not, or whether we can speak, read and write perfectly, or not, or whether there are people like us and agree with us, or not, or whether we have been through many courses, retreats and workshops, or not, or whether we have one or many “International yoga affiliation” recognized certification, or not.

There is no need a piece of paper to qualified and certified us to realize the peace in us and to share this peace and wisdom with all other beings. There is no need one or many pieces of papers to show anyone that we are peaceful and we want to show loving kindness to other beings, when we realized selflessness and compassion.

There are people who have never come in contact with yoga asana practice, meditation practice, or yoga philosophy, but it doesn’t stop them from realizing the peace in them and be selfless and compassionate, if they know what is non-attachment and be free from the ego, craving and aversion. Peace, love and compassion doesn’t belong to particular religion, or practice, or belief. Peace, compassion and wisdom exists in everyone, disregards what are the differences of conditions, qualities, names and forms. A very weak and sick or paralyzed person can also have peace and be free from “suffering”.

Even if we practice yoga asana and meditation everyday, and name ourselves as “yogis”, it’s not necessarily that we will be peaceful and be free from anger, hatred, jealousy, hurts, fear and worry, if we do not know what is non-attachment and be free from the ego, craving and aversion.

Realize this real peace and be free. Be truly content and happy, unconditionally.

During yoga practice session – non-attachment and letting go

Initial relaxation practice for the body and the mind – non-attachment & letting go

Stay focus and pay attention onto where we are, how we are and what we are doing at the present moment now. Letting go of the past and the future.

The most present thing is our breath. Be aware of the inhalation and the exhalation, without judgment whether the breath is slow or fast. Without comparing each breath. Without expectation towards the result or what benefits are we going to get from observing the breath. Letting go of judgment, comparison and expectation.

This will become a new habit for the mind to be able to let go of the past instantly from moment to moment, in our everyday life, not just during the yoga practice session. This will train the mind to let go of the habits that like to judge, to compare and to expect.

All our actions are intention-less, surrendering the fruit of action. Non-identification as the doer of the action. All actions are nameless and formless.

If the mind wanders to the past or the future, we bring the mind concentrate back onto the present moment on the breath, patiently. Knowing that it is the habit of the mind that it doesn’t like to stay focus at one point for a long time. It is the characteristic of the mind to jump from one thought to another thought unceasingly. Be very patient with the mind. Not judging the mind as something bad or negative. The mind is just being what it is. It is neither good nor bad. It is neither negative nor positive. We don’t have to attach to the mind and just observe the mind as it is.

Be aware of the movement of the abdomen as we inhale and exhale. The abdomen relax during inhalation, and it contracts during exhalation.

If at this present moment now, the mind is agitated, not calm, then we can control the breath to influence the energy or the prana, which will influence the state of the mind. We can slow down the breathing, prolong the exhalation to help to calm down the body, the energy and the mind.

By the chanting of Om will also help to calm down the mind. Beside the powerful sound vibration of Om that will stimulate and purify the energy centres and to chanel the energy for higher spiritual purposes, chanting of Om is also one of the pranayama that is controlling the breath especially during the exhalation, which can give calming effect to the mind. When the mind is calm and relaxed, then allow the breathing to be natural, and continue to observe the breath as it is.

If at this present moment now, the mind is calm and relaxed, then allow the breathing to be natural, just be aware, observe the natural breath as it is without interference, or to control or to change the breathing pattern.

By observing the breath as it is, we are learning to observe the nature as it is, observing the reality or the truth as it is, observing the present moment as it is, observing the world as it is, observing everything as it is, observing everyone as it is, observing the body and the mind as it is, observing ourselves as we are. Being aware that at this present moment now, this is the condition of our body, this is the condition of our mind, this is what our body can do and cannot do, this is where we are and how we are. And most important is, to accept ourselves as we are at this present moment now, without craving or aversion.

Not to take simple or easy movements for granted. Being aware of different sensations that arise in different parts of the body while performing any movements for the yoga practices. It might be some pleasant sensations at certain parts of the body, and some unpleasant sensations at the other parts of the body while performing any yoga practice or asana practice or meditation practice.

Keep the mind stay focus and concentrate on what we are doing. Beside being aware of the sensations that arise throughout the body, at the sametime also being aware of what is going on in the mind.

Maybe the mind is resisting certain positions or movements. Maybe the mind generates craving towards what the mind and the body like about. Maybe the mind is craving to perform certain movements that will make the body and mind feel good. Maybe the mind is having aversion towards certain positions and movements that will cause discomfortable sensations in the body. Maybe the mind disagrees or rejects what the teacher is telling the students to do or what the teacher is explaining about the yoga philosophy. Maybe the mind agrees with and like what the teacher teaches in the class and generates craving towards what the mind likes to hear and like to do.

There is nothing wrong with feeling good and want to feel good. It is our basic craving.

Allow ourselves to feel good and to enjoy all the good feelings but without attachment, clinging and craving. And let it go when these good feelings are gone.

Allow the bad feelings to arise as well. We don’t have to enjoy bad feelings, but we don’t have to generate aversion towards them nor need to push them away. Don’t suppress them nor denying them. We just observe all these bad feelings and let them go. And they will be gone too. Not to judge these unpleasant feelings as something bad and negative.

Just be aware of all these mind activities in the mind but not attach to them, not associate with them and not generate reaction towards them. Allow them to arise in the mind, let them stay and pass away. No craving, no aversion. Not resisting, rejecting nor trying to push them away. All these mind activities are influnced by the elements and energy. It is not in our control that we want the mind to have such activities and not to have certain activities.

If we are able not to attach to the mind, and undisturbed or affected by the mind activities, then we are beyond the mind. We are the one who is in control of ourselves and not the mind controlling us or influencing us. Let the mind be the mind. We don’t need to react to the mind and not generate actions that are influencing by the mind and the ego.

We are just the witness witnessing what is going on in the mind, what the mind likes and dislikes, what the mind wants and doesn’t want, what the mind feels and doesn’t feel.

Observe any thoughts, feelings and sensations that may arise without identification with them, not associate with them, not attach to them, not generate reaction (craving and aversion) towards them.

No craving towards the positive thoughts, good feelings and pleasant sensations. Allow ourselves to enjoy any good feelings and pleasant sensations without generate craving. No attachment, no clinging and let them go when they change and disappear.

No aversion towards the negative thoughts, bad feelings and unpleasant sensations. We don’t have to force ourselves to enjoy any of these unpleasant experiences in our body and mind, but we don’t have to generate aversion towards them either. Just observe all these unpleasant experiences, and allowing them to arise, change and disappear by themselves naturally.

Know that all these positive or negative thoughts, good or bad feelings, pleasant or unpleasant sensations, that they all are very temporary, they will change and they won’t last forever. They don’t belong to us and they are not us. It is not in our control that we only want to have positive thoughts, good feelings and pleasant sensations. It is not in our control that we don’t want to have negative thoughts, bad feelings and unpleasant sensations. All these things come and go as they like. They don’t ask for our permission to come, to stay, to change and to go.

We cannot attach to them. We will be in trouble or make ourselves full of tensions, disappointment, frustration and unhappiness if we attach to either the positive or the negative things. We will be so unhappy if we want to have positive or pleasant experiences but it didn’t happen. We will be unhappy if the positive and pleasant experiences change and disappear. We will be unhappy if the negative or unpleasant experiences appear in our body and mind. We will be unhappy if we try to get rid of these negative and unpleasant experiences but we couldn’t make them disappear from our body and mind.

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These are the basic yoga practice from moment to moment.

Practicing non-attachment and letting go.

This will stop more tensions building up in the body and the mind. At the same time it will help us to relieve the existing accumulated tensions in the body and the mind.

When we know how to stop generating tensions into the body and the mind, we don’t even need relaxation because there is no tensions at all.

And before we want to pursue any other yoga practices that will give us good benefits, we need to know how to relax the body and the mind, so that the body and the mind is ready to receive all the goodness that yoga practice is bringing us.

Or else if the body and the mind is full of tensions, how can they absorb the goodness from the yoga practice? It is like wearing a very tight thick jeans, there’s no room or space for the air to come through the jeans to let the skin breath freely.

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