Seeing the truth in ourselves that is not necessarily what we would like it to be, is a great liberation

It’s common for someone to feel hurt, dissatisfaction and disappointment in a love relationship. That is because we think we love the person in the relationship with us, but we don’t.

When we think we are hurt, dissatisfied and disappointed because of his/her bad treatment to us or wrongful behavior, we will do and say things that would hurt/attack this person in the relationship with us. We would go behind his/her back complaining about him/her for this and that, telling other people, especially our family and friends about how bad he/she is. Meanwhile, we keep telling ourselves and other people, “I love him/her so much. I am so good to him/her. How could he/she do this and didn’t do that, to me. He/she doesn’t love me. I feel so disappointed and hurt.”

‘Hurt’ doesn’t exist if we truly love someone. If we truly love him/her as he/she is, we won’t do and say things that would hurt him/her even though he/she doesn’t love us and isn’t nice to us. We won’t expect him/her to treat us or behave in certain ways. He/she has the freedom to love us, or not, and to be nice to us, or not. And we have the freedom to decide whether to continue this relationship, or not, without feeling hurt or disappointed.

If we ever feel ‘hurt’ by someone whom we think we love very much, it actually tells us that we don’t really love that person, but we only love our selfish desires of what we like and want. The fact that we feel dissatisfied, disappointed and hurt is because our selfish desires are not being gratified from loving the one whom we think we love very much. We are dissatisfied and disappointed is because we are not getting what we like and want, but we are getting what we don’t like and don’t want. It’s not because he/she is bad or wrong. It’s not because he/she doesn’t love us or isn’t nice to us.

To fall in love with someone is not so difficult, but, to truly love someone beyond selfish desires, is very rare.

The realization of “I think I love you and I want to love you, but I realized I don’t really love you because I don’t love you as you are.” allows us to be free from the corrupted thinking and feeling of “I am disappointed and hurt by the one whom I love very much.” Instead, we question ourselves, “How could I demand anything from you or expect you to love me and be nice to me while I don’t really love you?” and “If I really love you, I won’t demand anything from you and won’t expect you to love me and be nice to me. I’ll love you as you are, no matter you love me, or not, and want to be nice to me, or not.”

This will free us from dissatisfaction, disappointment and hurt, even though the person in the relationship doesn’t love us or isn’t nice to us. Meanwhile, even though we love someone very much, as he/she is, we don’t have to allow someone who doesn’t love us and who is not nice to us to take our love for granted, we can let go this person and this relationship.

Seeing the truth in ourselves that is not necessarily what we would like it to be, is a great liberation.

It’s okay if we realize we don’t love someone, as long as we are aware of it and are being truthful and honest towards ourselves and the one whom we think we love, but not really. And this confrontation with the truth allows us to truly love this person, by freeing ourselves from corrupted thinking and feelings.

The end of ignorance, is peace.

Be free.

 

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Egoistic mind can be hurt, offended, intimidated/threatened by anything

If the mind is not free from ignorance and egoism, it will easily feel hurt, or offended, or intimidated/threatened by anything, even when nothing is being hurtful, offensive or intimidating/threatening.

The teachings of yoga is just being what it is. It has no intention or quality to hurt, offend or intimidate anyone. But some minds who have strong attachment towards a particular personal/cultural/religious thinking and belief that is different from the teachings of yoga might feel hurt, or offended, or intimidated/threatened by some of the teachings of yoga, that is contradicted with their personal/cultural/religious thinking and belief, thinking that their thinking and belief is somehow being insulted/offended/intimidated/threatened by some of the teachings of yoga.

Minds that are not free from ignorance and egoism can be offended, or intimidated, or hurt, or upset, or disturbed by anything in anyway. It can be a particular look, or shape, or colour, or sound, or volume, or word, or smell, or sensation, or gesture, or facial expression, or action and reaction, or idea, or philosophy, or behavior, or speech, or thinking, or belief, or culture, or religion, or race, or nationality, or language, or lifestyle, or music, or story, or dance, or way of doing something, or sexual orientation, or clothing, or animal, or insect, or plant, or tree, or flower, or fruit, or car, or fish, or rock/stone, or door, or chair, or the wind, or the ocean, or the rain, or the heat, and all and everything.

No one can please another person. No one can make another person happy or to be free from unhappiness. No one can free another person from the suffering of ignorance and egoism and impurities of anger, hatred, jealousy, pride, arrogance, dissatisfaction, disappointment, feelings of hurt, fear and worry.

One needs to help oneself, be kind and compassionate towards oneself, and free oneself from the suffering that derives from ignorance, egoism and impurities.

One can tolerate, forbear, adjust, adapt and accommodate what might ‘appear’ to be hurtful, offensive, intimidating, threatening, upsetting, or disturbing to the mind. The truth of everything is just what it is. It is neither hurtful nor non-hurtful, neither offensive nor non-offensive, neither intimidating nor non-intimidating, neither threatening nor non-threatening, neither disturbing nor non-disturbing. It is how the mind reacts towards all and everything that the mind perceives through the senses, based on the likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, wants and don’t wants of the mind, that generates the reactions of hurt, offended, intimidated, threatened, upset, disturbed or anger.

It is coming from the mind generates aversion towards something that the mind doesn’t like, doesn’t agree with and doesn’t want that make the mind feels hurt, offended, intimidated, threatened, upset, disturbed or angry. Such like, “I don’t like this.”, “I don’t agree with this.” and “I don’t want this.” or “This is not what I like.”, or “This is something wrong or bad.” and “This is not what I want.”

How the mind wants to react towards everything that it perceives through the senses is its own responsibility. One can choose to be undetermined and undisturbed by other people’s ignorant or abusive behavior. It doesn’t mean that one is agreeing with, or supporting, or encouraging ignorant/abusive behavior, or allowing oneself to be treated/abused by ignorant/abusive behavior from other people if one isn’t determined by it and doesn’t feel hurt, or offended, or intimidated, or threatened, or disturbed, or angry with other people’s ignorant/abusive behavior.

Look into this mind, and learn about the truth of what is going on in this mind and all kinds of suffering that exist in this mind. It’s nothing to do with all the names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses (all kinds of pleasant and unpleasant, or agreeable and disagreeable life experiences). It is coming from the mind itself for being ignorant, egoistic and impure.

Even though one has been following yoga classes, learning and practicing yoga asana exercises regularly for many years, and can perform many of the yoga asana poses, and receiving lots of benefits from the yoga asana exercises, but if one doesn’t know this, one isn’t really practicing yoga.

Be free.

Know our minds…

The mind never showed interest in something that was always there until the moment it sees, or found some other forms of qualities that it likes, or admires, or attracted to, which directly or indirectly exist along with that particular thing, it starts to show great interest in that thing.

Just like in any kinds of relationships among people, including friendships. We never showed interest in some people whom we know for a long time, until the moment we start to see, or found some other forms of qualities that we like and interested in, which directly or indirectly exist along with these people, and then we start to show interest in these people.

This indicates that we don’t really like nor interested in these people as they are, nor interested in these people for being who they were in the past, or who they are in the present moment, but we only like and interested in some qualities that we like and which drawn our mind’s interest.

Look within, and rest in our very own nature of unconditional love and peace. Love all beings as they are, be free from craving, longing, attachment, possessiveness, projection and expectation. We will never feel disappointed and hurt, or be disappointed and hurt by anyone or anything, when we start to understand how the mind works.

Only those minds that are free from ignorance and egoism know how to love others and be loved by others as it is unconditionally, in any relationships. All the others are just loving themselves for what they like and want, selfishly…

Be happy.