The essence of silence

Passionate worldly egoistic minds that attached strongly onto the impermanent and selfless function of the body and the modification of the mind and identified strongly with all the impermanent qualities of names and forms of conditions, experiences, actions and the fruit of actions, and all kinds of connections/relationships as ‘I’ or ‘This is who I am’, who attached strongly onto worldly social and cultural thinking and belief to live life, act and react or behave, will not be able to understand or appreciate silence, where they can’t live without talking, chatting, socializing, communicating, engaging and interacting with some other human beings or some other forms of living being, where the observation of solitude, seclusion and silence is being perceived/recognized as a form of ‘meaningless and negative way of life’ or a form of ‘abnormal, inappropriate, wrong, mad, selfish and unhealthy way of behavior’.

Due to deep rooted ignorance and egoism, many minds including yoga practitioners and yoga teachers, would think and feel that it’s terribly bad and wrong for them or anyone to be observing solitude, seclusion and silence, without coming in contact, talking, chatting, socializing, communicating, engaging or interacting with any other people/beings.

The worldly passionate egoistic minds would feel ‘offended’ or ‘disturbed’ by those who are observing silence, where the minds are rendered silent, who don’t engage in social conversation/interaction/activity with them, who don’t response to their ‘sociable friendliness’ in the way that they expect how all human beings should be responding or behaving. And that’s their freedom of thinking and expression. Autonomously and naturally, most people spend most of their life time and energy into ‘making connection of family ties, friendships and relationships’ and ‘maintaining the connection of family ties, friendships and relationships’.

Yoga practitioners, especially those who identify themselves as ‘yoga teachers’, who really want to practice and realize yoga of selflessness/oneness/non-separateness, can contemplate or perform self-inquiry upon the essence of silence with this question.

“What do you do or say, or how do you behave or react, if an enlightened Buddha or ‘what/who you think is your Satguru’ is here in this space with you?”

Do you astounded by their presence by shouting and crying and praying to Buddha or Satguru desiring to be blessed, or be touched/hugged, or be helped, or be sympathized, or be healed, or be loved, or be understood/accepted/acknowledged?

Do you want to be engaging in a social conversation talking about yourself and what’s happening in your life and in the world, and also expect Buddha or Satguru to chit-chat with you, to say something to you or talking about themselves and all the good and bad, right and wrong that are existing in the world?

Do you want Buddha or Satguru to be acknowledged about how many and which type of ‘Internationally recognized yoga teacher certification’ that you have, or how much and what kind of selfless service, charity and contribution that you have done, and looking forward to be praised and recognized by them, and then can’t wait to tell all your family and friends that you have been praised and recognized by Buddha or Satguru?

Do you hope or expect Buddha or Satguru will be removing all your ignorance and impurities, and liberating you and everyone that you love from painful sorrow or suffering, and grant you with long life, comfortable living, good health, success, wealth/prosperity, all the helps that you ever need, or all desires come true?

Do you try to socialize and befriend with Buddha or Satguru and planning future ongoing get-together, outings, interactions and activities with them?

Do you have many complaints/unhappiness/frustration/suffering that you need to complain to Buddha or Satguru, or bitch to them about those whom you dislike and disagree with, whom you think they have been hurting you, whom you think they have done something terribly wrong to you and/or others, whom you think they are unloving, uncaring, unnice and unkind to you and/or others, whom you think they are bad people or terrible beings?

Do you think you need to say many nice things to praise and glorify about them, and do something special to please them to make them happy and satisfied, or you shouldn’t say or do anything that would be offensive, hurtful or disrespectful to them?

Do you think they are there judging you ceaselessly that you need to be good enough to gain their love, acceptance and acknowledgement, as you think and believe that you need to be loved, accepted and acknowledged by them or by certain people/beings?

Do you think Buddha or Satguru will be condemning/punishing you if you are not free from ignorance, or if you think you are not a ‘perfectly good’ human being according to certain worldly social/cultural/spiritual/religious/ecological/environmental values and practice, or you can’t do handstand and headstand or Trikonasana and Paschimottanasana in perfect alignment, or you don’t know what are the name of the yoga poses and their benefits, or you don’t know much about the organs, nerves, muscles and bones in the body?

Do you feel disappointed if Buddha or Satguru doesn’t turn out to be the way that you expect them to be, or the way that you think and believe how they should be?

Do you think Buddha or Satguru would be offended, or be disturbed, or be upset, or be confused, if you don’t make any verbal speech/sound or make any body gesture to show respect to them, if your eyes are closed, if you are not looking at them or anything, if you don’t say/express anything, if you have nothing to say/express, if you don’t say “Hello! Nice to see you! How are you? Are you okay?”, if you don’t go towards them and give them a hug or a kiss on their face, if you have nothing to admire or condemn, if you have nothing to complain about, if you have no desire of anything, as your mind is silent, void of ignorance, egoism, impurities, identification, duality, separateness, dissatisfaction, depression, desire, disturb, painful sorrow, fear, worry, hurts, or suffering?

The minds that are free from ignorance and egoism are void of all these worldly egoistic thinking, practice, values, action and reaction. The ones who are being conditioned by all these worldly egoistic thinking, practice, values, action and reaction is the ego, derived from ignorance and powered by egoism. To eliminate the ego and egoism, to realize selflessness/non-separateness, the mind must be free from being conditioned by all those worldly egoistic thinking, practice, values, action and reaction, which is possible through the observation of solitude, seclusion and silence.

Be free.

Letting go?

If there’s no attachment, there’s needless of letting go.

If there’s attachment towards either something pleasant or unpleasant, enjoyable or painful, then know that everything is impermanent.

If one knows what is non-attachment towards what is pleasant and enjoyable, then one can fully appreciate and enjoy what is pleasant and enjoyable, but will be able to let it go in peace when impermanence strikes. If there’s attachment and one doesn’t know how to let go, then there will be dissatisfaction, disappointment, unhappiness, hurts or painful sorrow upon losing what one likes very much, that is pleasant and enjoyable. And there’s nothing wrong with that, just that one needs to know that even those dissatisfaction, disappointment, unhappiness, hurts or painful sorrow are also impermanent.

When one is holding onto something unpleasant or painful, and one cannot withstand the unpleasantness or pain, one can choose to let go of it, by putting it down without hurting it, without regret of letting go something that one likes very much, but it’s unpleasant and painful. A lot of time, most people would just react spontaneously if they dislike the unpleasantness or pain, or couldn’t forbear the unpleasantness or pain, and would be throwing away immediately whatever that appears to be unpleasant or painful to oneself, and cause damages to that either wittingly or unwittingly.

There’s nothing wrong if one decided to continuously holding onto something that one likes very much even though it’s unpleasant or painful, but then, one must also accept the consequences of that and endure all the unpleasantness or pain due to unwilling to let go something that appears to be unpleasant or painful to oneself, without expectation towards this unpleasantness or pain will change or disappear, but allowing the changes to be what they are, not necessarily the way that one would like it to be.

It’s everyone’s freedom for whether they want to let go, and be free, or they don’t want to let go, and accept the consequences of one’s action and decision of not letting go.

Be free.

Freeing the mind from being conditioned by worldly thinking and belief

The minds that are under the influence of ignorance, that are ignorant towards itself is being conditioned by worldly egoistic social/cultural/religious thinking and belief, are being limited to be in certain ways and not to be in certain ways to feel good, happy and meaningful, or not. There will be judgment or identification of “If I’m like this, I’ll be okay, good and happy. And if I’m not like this, I’ll be not okay, not good and not happy.” or “If life is like this, it’s good and meaningful. And if life is not like this, it’s not good and meaningless.” or “Things/people should be like this or shouldn’t be like that, then it’s right and good, or else it’s bad and wrong.”

Such as many ‘yoga teachers’ would think and believe that they need to attend Internationally recognized ‘yoga teachers training courses’ and be ‘qualified’ and ‘certified’ to be ‘yoga teachers’, to be ‘authorized’ and ‘allowed’ to teach yoga to other people, and need to be attending ongoing ‘yoga courses’ to be upgrading one’s knowledge and teaching skills, and also believing that ‘possessing all these names and forms’ would also make them responsible ‘good’, ‘well-trained’ and ‘well-informed’ yoga teachers. Or, many ‘yoga students’ who think and believe that ‘yoga teachers’ who attended Internationally recognized ‘yoga teachers training courses’ to be ‘qualified’ and ‘certified’ to be ‘Internationally recognized yoga teachers affiliated with such and such yoga alliance/association/organization’ as well as attending ongoing ‘yoga courses’ to be upgrading their knowledge and teaching skills or those who have been ‘teaching yoga’ for such and such years, that they must be ‘good and responsible yoga teachers’, or else, they are not good or responsible yoga teachers. But yoga and teaching yoga to others are not determined by all these names and forms at all.

Such as many people including many yoga enthusiasts and physical/mental health professionals, who think and believe that ‘the practice of silence’, ‘seclusion’, ‘solitude’, ‘dispassion’, ‘renunciation from worldly affairs/ties/connections/relationships/activities/interactions/communications’, ‘refraining the mind from going out chasing after the objects of the senses that stimulate the mind and to gratify the desire of craving and aversion which empower the ego/egoism that feed the ignorance’, or ‘reducing/limiting mind imprints of ceaseless inputs and outputs to silent the restless modification of the mind’ are something ‘sad’, ‘bad’, ‘wrong’, ‘unhealthy’, ‘insane’, ‘mad’, or ‘meaningless’, as all these observances appeared to be contradicted with the ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’ worldly thinking/belief/values/behavior/practice/way of living. But, these are the observances that would free the mind from ignorance and suffering.

The egoistic minds that are under the influence of ignorance and egoism need the presence of someone else or something to be constantly acknowledging/validating one’s existence or purpose, or to feel ‘needed/wanted’ by other people, to be acknowledged and identified by oneself and others as “I am a lovable, knowledgeable, intelligent, generous, friendly, helpful, good, kind and caring person who is needed/wanted by other people to be there in their life.”

Meanwhile, the minds that are free from ignorance, that are not being conditioned by worldly egoistic thinking and belief, are free being anyway, being undetermined by the quality of names and forms, impermanent changes, time, space and causation (actions and the consequences of actions), without judgment or identification of “If I’m like this, I’ll be okay, good and happy. And if I’m like that, I’ll be not okay, not good and not happy.” or “If life is like this, it’s good and meaningful. And if life is not like this, it’s not good and meaningless.” or “Things/people should be like this or shouldn’t be like that, then it’s right and good, or else it’s bad and wrong.”

The selfless minds that are void of ignorance and egoism don’t need the presence of anyone or anything to be constantly acknowledging/validating one’s existence or purpose, or to feel ‘needed/wanted’ by other people, to be acknowledged and identified by oneself and others as “I am a lovable, knowledgeable, intelligent, generous, friendly, helpful, good, kind and caring person who is needed/wanted by other people to be there in their life.” even though they might be performing actions that are ‘helping’/’supporting’/’benefiting’ other people, without attachment, identification or association.

The minds that are void of ignorance and egoism have no ‘problems/troubles/disturbs/hurts/disappointment/dissatisfaction’ that need to be ‘shared with’ or ‘heard by’ other people, and don’t need other people keep asking oneself “How are you/Are you okay?”, to feel being noticed, acknowledged, heard, understood, sympathized, empathized, cared, liked, loved, helped, supported or touched by ‘other people’.

It’s everyone’s freedom for what and how they think/believe/behave/desire/don’t desire. Only those who have sufficient awareness to be aware of and acknowledge the ignorance in one’s mind would have initiative to free the mind from ignorance.

Being alone doesn’t induce the sense of ‘loneliness’. Being alone is not something sad, bad, or unhealthy. It’s the thinking that is under the influence of worldly social/cultural/religious thinking and belief about “Loneliness is deriving from being alone, and being alone is something sad, bad and unhealthy.” that causing the mind thinks and feels lonely, sad, bad and unhealthy for being alone. As there are many people who are not alone also would suffer from ‘loneliness’, while there are people who often being alone by oneself don’t suffer from ‘loneliness’, neither will they feel disturbed when surrounded by other people, just that they don’t associate/involve with other people’s actions and reactions, and they do not interfere with other people’s different ways of thinking/belief/behavior/practice/living.

Most mental health professionals would suggest and encourage people who suffer from ‘loneliness’ to be with other people, to talk to other people, to interact with other people, or to engage in some form of physical/mental/emotional activities with other people so that they will feel less lonely, and it might make people feel less lonely when their minds are being busy with the engagement with physical/mental/emotional activities with some other people, but it doesn’t really free the mind from the suffering of ‘loneliness’. Because ‘loneliness’ is not caused by being alone, or isolation from other people, or not engaging in any activities with other people.

It’s the egoism of attachment/clinging towards the presence of other people being around and the desire of craving for receiving acknowledgement, attention, empathy, sympathy, love, care, liking, understanding, or support from other people and the attachment/craving towards the mind stimulation of inputs and outputs derived from engaging in social physical/mental/emotional interactions/activities with other people, that the mind feels lonely/miserable/sad/wrong/unhealthy for being alone without any physical/mental/emotional contact with ‘someone’ or ‘something’ for an extended period of time. It’s like the addiction towards certain substances and the mind will feel great/satisfied/happy/relieved momentarily within the effectiveness of the substances, but once the effect of the substances is gone, the mind will crave for getting the effect of the substances again, and again, and it will feel uneasy/unhappy/dissatisfied/irritated/agitated/anxious/aggressive/sad/miserable/sicked if it’s craving for the effect of the substances is not being gratified over an extended period of time.

Just like low self-esteem, dissatisfaction, disappointment, hurts, anger, fear, worry, guilt, regret, pride, arrogance, unhappiness, meaninglessness and etc, ‘loneliness’ is the by-products of ignorance and egoism and being conditioned by worldly egoistic thinking and belief to think/feel/analyze/judge/behave/desire/act and react towards all the mind perception of names and forms or life experiences in certain ways, it’s not coming from particular environment, condition, situation, people, things or happening being sad, bad, wrong, negative, depressing, disappointing, disturbing, hurtful or unhealthy. Such as by giving the mind what it likes and wants and not giving the mind what it doesn’t like and doesn’t want would give momentary satisfaction to the mind, but it doesn’t free the mind from ‘dissatisfaction’. By doing what the mind likes to do and achieving what the mind wants to achieve might give the mind the momentary sense of confidence, happiness and meaningfulness, but it doesn’t free the mind from the sense of ‘low self-esteem’, ‘unhappiness’ and ‘meaninglessness’.

‘Loneliness’ doesn’t exist in the selfless/’I’less/egoless and silent mind. In silence and selflessness, who is there to perceive/experience/feel/identify with loneliness, low self-esteem, dissatisfaction, disappointment, unhappiness, meaninglessness, hurts, anger, fear, worry, guilt, regret, pride, arrogance and etc?

Be free.

Disturbed / hurt by remembering / thinking about past unpleasant experiences

Minds that feel being disturbed or hurt by ‘something’ that is being perceived/acknowledged as ‘hurtful’, ‘wrongful’, ‘bad’, ‘disturbing’, or ‘undeserving’, they are actually being disturbed or hurt by the remembrance towards the perceived names and forms that doesn’t exist in NOW, unwittingly attached onto the perceived names and forms (past experiences in the form of memories), being determined by the past memories as well as keep feeding these memories to keep them ‘alive’ to be shadowing/haunting the mind repeatedly in NOW.

The past is not just about whatever happened some time ago.

What is here in NOW is constantly changing/passing away and instantly becoming part of the past memory that is made up of a continuous chain of countless pieces of thoughts/images.

For example, maybe someone says and does something that is hurtful/wrongful/bad/disturbing to this person (this mind) in this present moment NOW.

The mind immediately processes this experience and will analyze and assert, “This is something hurtful/wrongful/disturbing that I or anyone don’t deserve to be experiencing.” and react with “I am/feel disturbed and hurt by this.” and by the time the mind is analyzing and asserting about ‘this experience’, ‘this experience’ is already beyond NOW being stored as part of the memory. But somehow, the mind will continuously feel disturbed and hurt by the continuous remembrance of “This is something hurtful/wrongful/bad/disturbing that I or anyone don’t deserve to be experiencing.” and continuously react with “I am/feel disturbed and hurt by this.” Even when ‘this experience’ that instantly becomes ‘that experience’ which existed moment/seconds/minutes/hours/days/weeks/months/years ago, that doesn’t exist in the NOW, and even when the memory starts to fade away and changed into some blurred images that are not exactly what it really was as it happened, the mind will still be disturbed and hurt by the remembrance towards ‘the disturb/hurt reacted towards that experience’.

It’s always, “You/They did this.” or “You/They said that.” This is truly unnecessary. Imagine if someone is completely forgetful about everything or has no function of memory to be remembering anything, what is there to disturb or hurt this mind?

It’s not about erasing one’s memories to be free from disturbs or hurts coming from continuously remembering the past experiences that the mind perceived as ‘disturbing’/’hurtful’/’wrongful’/’bad’, but it’s developing the ability of ‘non-attachment’ to be unattached/non-clinging/non-grasping/non-craving/non-aversion towards all the thought/emotion activities in NOW perceiving all the pleasant/unpleasant names and forms or desirable/undesirable experiences, and all that is being stored as part of the memory that constantly arising and passing away in the mind in NOW.

If the mind is always being in the NOW, without attachment towards what is NOW and beyond NOW (memories or imaginations), being aware of but without attachment/clinging towards any thought/emotion activities of the mind as well as the pleasant/unpleasant memories/images constantly arising and passing away in the mind in NOW, then this mind won’t be disturbed or hurt by anything at all, not even being disturbed by what is happening NOW or the constant flashback of memories of the past thought/emotion activities perceiving all kinds of pleasant or unpleasant, agreeable or disagreeable, desirable or undesirable names and forms.

The real practice of non-attachment, is not about having very few or zero things/objects/relationships/enjoyments in life, or ignoring/neglecting one’s duty/responsibility and do nothing to improve, but it’s about non-clinging/non-grasping/non-craving/non-aversion/non-judgment/non-expectation towards what is going on in the thinking mind (the modifications of the mind), of whatever the mind perceives in NOW and all that beyond NOW (memories and imaginations), allowing all the pleasant/unpleasant, agreeable/disagreeable, desirable/undesirable names and forms being there as they are and ceaselessly changing as they are, arising and passing away as they are.

Go beyond the worldly thinking and belief about “Life has to be in certain ways and people must behave in certain ways to live a good, happy, joyful and meaningful life, or else life is not good, happy, joyful or meaningful.” Life is just what it is. It doesn’t has to be in certain ways and people don’t have to behave in certain ways, while life doesn’t need to be good, happy, joyful and meaningful the way that the mind thinks and believes what is good/happy/joyful/meaningful. Life is neither good nor bad, neither happy nor unhappy, neither joyful nor joyless, neither meaningful nor meaningless.

Whether one is practicing yoga, or not, is not determined by whether one is doing some ‘yoga practice’ in the form of Pranayama, Asana, Yamas, Niyamas, Kriyas, Japa/Kirtan and etc, or not, but it’s whether there is attachment towards the modifications of the mind, or not. If there’s attachment, there’s no peace. Peace is there as it is, in the absence of attachment.

Be free.

Broken /complicated relationship involving third party?

Broken/complicated relationship involving third party is not something uncommon nowadays.

There might be different kinds of situation exist in any relationship. It doesn’t matter what kind of situation, most people would think and believe and expect that two people should commit themselves to be loyal and faithful towards one another being in a ‘committed’ relationship, if oneself has no sincerity to be ‘committed’ and ‘faithful’ in a relationship, then just don’t get into a relationship with anyone, as whether wittingly or unwittingly, oneself will cause ‘hurts’ to the other person in the relationship with oneself. But in many relationships, two people have love for each other in the beginning, and want to be in a relationship together, but after some time, the ‘feeling of love’ is less, or is not there anymore, where they don’t feel love towards the partner anymore, and either they don’t want to be in the relationship anymore, or they would want to look for the ‘feeling of love’ in other love affairs/relationships with other people.

For example, A and B is in a so called ‘committed’ relationship, while B is also having an open or secret love affair/relationship with C.

In such relationship that involved ‘third party’, most people would think that A is the ‘victim’, while B and C are the ‘selfish and immoral’ bad people that are hurting A. A should deserved sympathy and support from others, while B and C should be blamed and condemned for being ‘selfish and immoral and hurtful’. But for those who understand ‘love’ and ‘relationship’, no one is being a ‘victim’ and no one is being ‘selfish/immoral/hurtful’ bad people in a broken/complicated relationship.

There’s neither right nor wrong in ‘love relationship’ even if it’s ‘broken’, whether with or without involving third party. It’s just a relationship didn’t turn out to be the way that most people desire/expect it to be, as well as there’s no ‘love’ in such relationship. And there’s nothing wrong if there’s no ‘love’, or an expected relationship is non-existing, or a relationship is discontinued, for any reason.

If there’s love in the relationship, the relationship won’t be broken/damaged, it’s either a relationship that continues or discontinued/came to an end, due to any reason, in peace. If there’s love from oneself towards the partner, one will have loving kindness, self-control and decency to not commit in any behavior that would be ‘hurtful’ to the partner in the relationship with oneself, whether wittingly or unwittingly. Even if there’s ‘feeling of love’ in the relationship in the beginning, and the ‘feeling of love’ is impermanent, it will change and disappear. But, if there’s love, then even though sometimes the ‘feeling of love’ is less, or not there anymore, one will still be kind to the partner in the relationship with oneself, and would not behave in the way that would be ‘hurtful’ to the partner, not because of the sense of ‘commitment’ or ‘obligation’ towards a ‘committed’ relationship, but out of loving kindness.

There’s nothing wrong either if one feels hurt/disappointed/angry thinking and believing oneself is being ‘a victim’ of other people’s unloving/unfaithful/hurtful/immoral behavior. Everyone has the rights and freedom to feel what they want to feel and react the way that they want to react. But then, one must also understand that if one feels hurt/disappointed/angry, it’s because one doesn’t really love the partner as he/she is, one only loves one’s desire and expectation towards the partner and the relationship has to be in certain ways. One has desire and expectation towards the relationship and the partner to be in certain way, and when things turn out to be not the way that one desires or expects, when one is getting something that one doesn’t like, doesn’t want and doesn’t agree with, and when one is losing what one likes (the relationship and the partner being in certain ways that one desires it to be), or what one likes (the perfect faithful loving partner/relationship) is no longer available, or is ‘disturbed’, or has changed into something else, that’s why one feels hurt/disappointed/angry. It’s not because the partner or the relationship is ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’ that cause the ‘hurts/disappointment/anger’ in oneself, but, it’s because one doesn’t love the partner as he/she is, but only loves what one likes/desires/expects.

It’s how everyone/human beings/the untrained egoistic minds react towards ‘ungratified desires’ of “This is not what I like and want and expect.”, or “I am not getting what I like and want, but I’m getting what I don’t like and don’t want.” or “This is something wrong/bad/hurtful/undeserving happening to me.”

If there’s correct understanding towards ‘love’ and ‘relationship’, then there would be no hard/hurtful/bitter feelings where people can let go the relationship in peace, one won’t see oneself as ‘a victim of the unfaithfulness/betrayal of the partner in a broken relationship’ or ‘a victim of the intrusion of the lover of one’s partner that causes my relationship to be broken’. And there’s no blame or condemn towards the partner and the lover that they should be guilty for being ‘the selfish bad people that cause this relationship to be broken/damaged’.

This is really nothing to do with whether the partner and his/her lover in the love affair/relationship are being ‘selfish’, ‘unfaithful’, ‘disloyal’, ‘immoral’, ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’, or not. It’s about how oneself thinks, understands, feels and reacts being in such situation, where one’s partner is involved in a love affair/relationship with another person.

If a person would commit in a love affair/relationship with another person other than the one in a relationship with oneself, whether wittingly or unwittingly, it indicates that this person doesn’t really ‘love’ the partner. He/she loves it’s desire for satisfaction. When he/she is not satisfied with his/her partner, when he/she is not getting what it desires/expects from the partner, he/she will be looking for something/someone else to gratify its desire for satisfaction, love, passion, pleasure, interaction, or lust. And that’s common ‘human’s nature’, or the normal behavior of the untrained minds under the influence of desires.

Everyone has the rights or freedom whether they want to love anyone, or don’t want to love anyone, or stop loving someone, or having too much ‘feeling of love’ that needs to be shared with many people at the same time, or want to be in many different love affairs/relationships at one time, or whether they are satisfied/dissatisfied being in a ‘committed’ relationship with somebody.

If one truly loves the partner in the relationship with oneself, one will love this person as he/she is, even if the partner doesn’t love oneself, or stop loving oneself, or being ‘the god/goddess of love’ who needs to ‘love’ as many people as possible. One doesn’t need to be in a relationship with this person, to possess this person to be mine. One doesn’t expect this person to be faithful and loyal, or expect the love from this person doesn’t change, or won’t disappear, or ‘should be for me only’. One allows this person to have or don’t have the ‘feeling of love’ for oneself, or stop loving oneself, or doesn’t love oneself, or prefer to love and be with someone else. One can let go the person that doesn’t love oneself, or let go a relationship that doesn’t have ‘love’ or couldn’t continue, in peace, and allow this person to love and be with other people that he/she loves.

One won’t feel hurt/disappointed/angry towards the partner who doesn’t love oneself or towards the relationship that is not the way that how most people would like it to be. Because if the partner loves oneself, then there’s no need any expectation from oneself, without the sense of obligation to be committed and be faithful in a relationship with oneself, but out of loving kindness towards oneself, he/she will have self-control and decency, where he/she will not do anything that would cause ‘hurts’ or ‘damages’ to oneself or this relationship, not even behind one’s knowledge, regardless of whether there’s the ‘feeling of love’ existing, or not. One would know how to ‘keep a respectful distance’ with others who have the tendency to ‘fall in love’ with oneself, as one doesn’t need to look for satisfaction in ‘love affairs/relationships’.

One cannot expect ‘love’ from anyone, but allowing others whether to ‘love’ oneself, or not. One cannot expect how other people should love oneself or behave in a relationship, but allowing others to love us the way as they are. There’s no such thing as “Once you love me and being in a ‘committed’ relationship with me, you will have to be forever faithful and loyal to me, and loving me only.” And if, one realizes that the partner doesn’t love oneself, one can choose to continue or let go the relationship, in peace, without bitterness. There’s neither right nor wrong, either way.

There’s even no need of ‘forgiveness’, if one truly loves the partner as he/she is, even if the partner is being unfaithful, as one is undisturbed/unhurt by the partner’s ‘unfaithfulness’ at all, but would let go of him/her and the relationship. One doesn’t feel bad about oneself or thinking that one is not good enough, if the partner doesn’t love oneself, if one knows love.

Unfortunately, many people couldn’t let go in peace, and be disturbed by hard/hurtful/bitter/angry feelings that doesn’t help to make things better, and might do things that hurt oneself or the partner and the people whom the partner loves.

There’s nothing wrong if one realizes that oneself doesn’t love the partner, and one should be honest and straightforward to let this person knows that “I don’t love you.” or “I don’t feel love for you.” or “I don’t want to be with you in a relationship.” or “I want to be with someone else.” This honesty won’t hurt, if people are matured enough to understand ‘love’ and ‘relationship’. But it would cause deeper ‘hurts/disappointment/anger/hatred’ by being untruthful to oneself and the partner, pretending that one loves the partner very much, but in truth, one doesn’t love the partner, and one won’t be satisfied being with that partner, and would try to find satisfaction in some other love affairs/relationships with other lovers. People who are matured enough would let go the person whom they love very much to be with the people whom this person loves, in peace. That’s love.

When two people don’t hurt one another out of dissatisfaction/disappointment/anger/hurts, then even though there’s no ‘feeling of love’ from one or both of them, or they are not in a relationship, that’s love. Where/what is love, if one or two people keep hurting each other out of feeling of hurts/anger/disappointment being in a relationship that is not the way that they like it to be?

If people are not matured enough to accept ‘honesty’ or ‘the truth’ in peace, when people whom they think they love very much are being honest and straightforward telling them that “I don’t love you.” or “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.” or “I want to love and be with someone else.”, then it’s their own responsibility if they don’t like that honesty or the truth, and react with feeling hurt/disappointed/angry for losing what they like and want, or not getting what they like and want, but getting what they don’t like and don’t want. And this relationship won’t be peaceful and harmony anyway, even if they continue to be in a relationship, because they don’t really love whom they think they love very much. There will be lots of ‘tension’ and ‘unhappiness’ derived from ‘ungratified desires’ and ‘expectation’ in this relationship all the time.

Be free, to love or be loved, or not.

Observe silence to quiet the restless modification of the mind

When someone is performing yoga practice or meditation practice (self-practice), one is observing silence as much as possible practically, regardless of whether the mind is still processing some random thought activities, or not. One doesn’t talk, or grumble, or groan, or argue, or debate, or criticize, or inspire, or aspire, or communicate/interact with anyone not even so called ‘spiritual connection’ with ‘God’ or ‘higher spirits’. One doesn’t read any material, or ask questions, or looking at and listening to anyone or anything (teacher/other practitioners/scenery/video/music/podcast/conversation), or expect certain feedback/evaluation towards one’s practice, or expect particular result/effect/benefit/pleasure from the practice.

The senses are being withdrawn/restricted from chasing after the objects of the senses, and the outgoing mind is being channeled inward to be resting in the present moment, or to be aware of the practice/the breath/the pulse/the sensation/the flow of energy/prana/heat in the body, without attachment/identification with the selfless impermanent function of the physical body and the state of the mind, while allowing any result/effect/benefit/pleasantness/unpleasantness/ability/disability to be existing or non-existing, to be what it is, as it is, allowing any existing sights, sounds, smells, tastes, sensations and thoughts being there as they are, without analyzing/asserting/projecting/craving/aversion, without association with or attachment towards all these names and forms, to be quieting the restless modification of the mind effectively.

This is not really possible in a ‘yoga class’ where there is a teacher giving instructions/explanation teaching/leading a group of people performing the practice, while the group of people have to be looking at the teacher or other people in the group, and listening to while analyzing/understanding/following the teacher’s instructions to perform the practice, and expecting feedback/evaluation from the teacher and/or others towards one’s performance/practice, as well as expecting particular result/effect/benefit from the practice. “How well/correct am I doing the practice?”

Meanwhile some people’s minds are being ‘disturbed’ or ‘offended’ very much by certain teachings of yoga being taught in the ‘yoga class’ that are different from their thinking and belief, or be ‘disturbed’ or ‘intimidated’ by how the teacher teach/conduct the ‘yoga class’, or be ‘dissatisfied’ with the ‘yoga class’ is not being the way that they would like it to be (either too intense, or too gentle, or too crowded, or too quiet, too much or not enough attention, too challenging or not challenging enough, or not the kind of practice that they would enjoy).

For people who don’t know the practice yet, of course they need to learn from someone who knows the practice, such like attending ‘yoga classes’ for some time to be following instructions from a teacher to learn about the practice and how to perform the practice. Attending ‘yoga classes’ is mostly about ‘learning’. After ‘learning’ and ‘knowing’ the practice, one must develop self-discipline to perform self-practice in solitude and silence, truly immersing into the practice.

That’s why ‘yoga practice’ is always more ‘practical’ when performing self-practice in solitude and silence in terms of quieting the restless modification of the mind, where the modification of mind inputs and outputs are being limited to the maximum efficiently. Those who already developed their own regular self-practice don’t need to attend ‘yoga classes’ to be following instructions to be performing their practice, though there’s nothing wrong if they attend ‘yoga classes’ once in a while for some reasons.

There are some ‘silent self-practice yoga classes’ are about providing a specific practice time and space for yoga practitioners to be sharing a practice space at a specific time to be performing their own self-practice. Even though there are other practitioners being in the same space, everyone is observing silence to the maximum, focusing on their own practice. There shouldn’t be any social interactions during the practice.

‘Yoga teachers’ need to teach ‘yoga classes’ in the way that would allow the students to develop the essential understanding of the teaching and practice, as well as self-reliance and self-discipline, and be able to perform self-practice without supervision/instruction from other people, and this will allow the mind be trained to turn inward to be quiet and be able to process and solve most problems in life by itself.

There’s nothing wrong with ‘asking and receiving help and support from others’ when someone encounters ‘problems’ in life, especially in terms of some physical and mental illnesses that require special care and specific medical treatment, or some technical problems where everyone has their own limited knowledge and experience to be doing something, and people need to be helped and supported by other people who have the knowledge and experience that oneself doesn’t have. While for most non-technical and non-medical care/treatment related problems, such like ‘thinking/decision making/relationship/emotional problems’, the best solution or the best answer to one’s doubt, is coming from within of a calmed and quiet mind.

One just needs to learn to be by oneself and be quiet, be away from all kinds of advice, opinion or suggestion from different people who ‘would like’ to give ‘advice, suggestion, help and support’ in the way that they think it’s best from their own point of view, and observe/watch what is going on in the mind, seeing the nature and the root cause of what the mind perceives/recognizes as ‘problems/doubts/unhappiness/hurts’, to allow the mind to go beyond and be undisturbed by these ‘problems/doubts/unhappiness/hurts’. Once the mind sees the truth, all kinds of ‘problems/doubts/unhappiness/hurts’ will eventually cease existing. One doesn’t need to talk to anyone about anything to release tension/unhappiness, or hoping someone is there to be listening to and sharing one’s ‘problems’, to be receiving advice, love, care, help or support from other people, to feel better, or to influence oneself making certain decision.

Although there’s nothing wrong when most people would see this thinking and emotional independence of ‘self-reliant thinking/decision making/relationship/emotional problem solving’ as ‘unacceptable’, ‘inappropriate’, ‘wrong’ or ‘unhealthy’ social behavior, as most people in the society practice and encourage all human beings need to be ‘reaching out to other people’, ‘talking to other people’ and ‘receiving advice, help, support from other people’, and most people do ‘need’ to reach out to other people to get help and suggestion, as they are being conditioned by the society to be emotionally interdependent, that they don’t know how to deal with ‘the problems’ they have and making decision independently by themselves, or else, when they think and feel that their ‘problems’ are too much for them, when they think they are alone and have no one being there to be helping and supporting them, they might hurt themselves and/or others, whether wittingly or unwittingly. People think and believe that ‘all human beings’ need to hold onto ‘something’ physically/mentally/emotionally to live life, whether it’s family, friends, relationship, children, pets, hobby, interest, work, religion, spirituality, ‘God’, or anything that give/feed the sense of existence and meaningfulness. When something falls apart or during the most difficult moments, at least they think they have something that they can lean or hang onto. And that’s their freedom of choice.

People would think and believe, “Oh, what a pitiful meaningless life without family/friends/somebody being there to share, to talk to, to play with, to support one another, to enjoy life.” This saying doesn’t valid/apply to the minds that practice yoga, that are free from being conditioned by worldly social/cultural/religious/political thinking and belief, that are aware of what is going on in the mind and be unattached towards/undetermined by the selfless impermanent qualities of names and forms, that are free from desire of craving and aversion.

In yoga, this ability of ‘self-reliant thinking/decision making/relationship/emotional problem solving’ is true liberation for the mind, being undisturbed or being okay under any difficult moments and challenging condition and situation in life that one has to deal with by oneself, where one has clear thinking and self-control without hurting oneself and/or others. It doesn’t mean that one doesn’t have any family/friends in life, but one doesn’t need to rely on the existence of family/friends/somebody being present as supporter, or receiving help/support from anyone to deal with any difficult moments under challenging condition and situation. When ‘family/friends/somebody’ or external help and support from other people/teacher/Guru/’God’ appear to be absent or not available for some reasons, it’s fine. One doesn’t need to hurt oneself and/or others, as one is peaceful as one is, being undetermined by any ‘difficult moments’ or ‘existing problems’ that one is going through, repairing what can be repaired and letting go what has to be let go, making decisions without doubt/fear/guilt/regret, and taking full responsibility towards one’s actions and the consequences of the actions.

“You came alone and you will go alone.” – Swami Sivananda

Go beyond hurts and healings

The minds that are still wandering along the path of yoga and haven’t realize what is going on in the mind need to practice forgiveness and letting go, as there is an ego being there thinking and believing that it is hurt by something hurtful, and so, it believes that it needs to be healed from hurt.

The emotional pain or hurts manifested in the form of thinking/feeling/thought process appear to be existing and real to the mind is due to ignorance.

The minds that know what is going on in the mind, that know the truth of ’emotional pain’ and ‘hurts’, don’t need to forgive, or let go, or be healed.

The thinking faculty that is free from ignorance and egoism cannot be hurt by anything. There’s no emotional pain or hurt existing in this mind void of ignorance and egoism. There’s nothing need to be forgiven, to let go, or to be healed.

Be free.

The important teachings/practice of yoga

These are the important teachings/practice of yoga to subjugate the modifications of the mind, to remove the veil of ignorance, to eliminate the idea of ‘worldly existence’, to annihilate the ego/the idea of ‘I’, to transcend quality of names and forms/duality/time, space and causation/cause and effect, but yet, these teachings/practice are also being disliked/disagreed/criticized/ignored/denied/abandoned/least practiced by many of the yoga enthusiasts/practitioners/teachers.

There’s nothing wrong with many people who ‘do yoga’ on regular basis just want to attain some physical and mental benefits from performing the yoga practice and engaging in some yoga community activities to feel good, healthy and meaningful. Only those who have firmed determination or intense yearning for liberation can understand and treasure the importance of these teachings/practice.

For the minds that are deep rooted in worldly ideas, all these teachings/practice are being seen as ‘abnormality’, ‘selfishness’, ‘craziness’, ‘wrongfulness’, ‘negativeness’, ‘inappropriateness’, ‘unhealthy’, ‘regression’, ‘inhumane’, and etc. But in fact, all these teachings/practice practically and effectively lead to compassion/peace.

Silencing the modifications of the mind annihilating ignorance and egoism is the great compassion of embracing and upholding peace and harmony in the world.

If one single person in the world attained ‘silence/annihilation of the mind’ or ‘liberation from ignorance and egoism’, there’s less a person in the world generates ‘impure intention’, ‘egoistic desire/ambition’, ‘ill-feeling’, ‘disappointment’, ‘hurts’, ‘anger’, ‘hatred’, ‘fear’, ‘ill-thinking’, ‘ill-will’, ‘discrimination’, ‘prejudice’, ‘corruption’, ‘unrest’, ‘violence’, ‘disturbance’, ‘negativity’, ‘disharmony’, ‘tension’, ‘unhappiness’, ‘meaninglessness’, ‘destructive behavior’, ‘ignorant actions and reactions’, and so on, into the world.

It’s the most practical effective way to contribute peace and harmony into the world.

People might think and believe that they are kind and compassionate beings who embrace and uphold ‘peace and harmony in the world’, while aspiring or trying to create/empower/influence a society/community that behave in certain ways that they think and believe is ‘good’, ‘right’, ‘positive’ and ‘appropriate’, but unwittingly, everyone keeps contributing ‘unrest’ into the world out of the name of ’embracing and upholding peace and harmony in the world’, by fighting against those whom they think are destroying or obstructing ‘peace and harmony in the world’.

Most people want ‘peace and harmony’ that comply to some requirements and conditions, influenced by their own particular personal/social/cultural/religious/spiritual/philosophical/political way of thinking/belief/values/vision/practice/living, that unwittingly contributing to all kinds of discrimination and wars.

For those who truly wish for ‘peace and harmony in the world’ as it is, they can inquire and implement these teachings/practice of yoga –

Dispassion/indifference/dissociate/disinterest

Renunciation towards worldly attachments/identifications/affairs/ideas/objects/thinking/belief/values/practice/habits/relationships/connections/associations/mingling/interactions/activities/actions and the fruit of actions

Abandoning/renouncing worldly enjoyments of the senses/stimulation of the mind/longing/ambitions/fame/status/authority/pride/supremacy/glory

Desirelessness

Aloneness

Solitude

Seclusion

Silence

Transcending duality of good and bad, right and wrong, positive and negative, meaninglessness and meaningfulness, praise and condemn, gain and loss, heat and cold, pleasantness and unpleasantness, happiness and unhappiness, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, appropriateness and inappropriateness

Uninfluenced by the past desirable/undesirable experiences and the future imagination/anticipation/speculation/projection

Allowing all and everyone to be what they are, free from expectation/interference/control towards all human beings that ‘all human beings should and shouldn’t think/believe/feel/behave/act and react in certain ways’

Respecting the law of nature/impermanence

Inquire the truth of ‘selflessness’

Annihilation of the modification of the mind/the existence of ‘I’

“Passionately loving the world and claiming ownership/responsibility/authority towards the condition of the world by expecting/desiring/aspiring the world to be in certain ways that the minds think and believe how it should be, and being disturbed, frustrated, offended and hurt by the condition of the world that is not the way that the mind would like it to be, doesn’t help the world to have peace.

Letting go of passionate love towards the world, without claiming ownership/responsibility/authority to expect/desire/aspire the condition of the world to be in certain ways that the minds think and believe how it should be, without being disturbed, frustrated, offended or hurt by the condition of the world that is not the way that the mind would like it to be, and have peace in oneself, is the selfless compassion that will help the world to have peace.”

By performing all kinds of ‘yoga practice’ regularly for many years, but without implementing all these teachings/practice, the mind will still be disturbed, frustrated, offended and hurt by something that the mind doesn’t like, doesn’t want and doesn’t agree with. There’s no peace in this mind.

It’s everyone’s freedom for what they want to do with their life and what they want/don’t want to think and believe. People don’t have to implement these teachings/practice of yoga, if they don’t like or don’t agree with these teachings/practice of yoga.

The mirror and the mind

The mirror is just what it is, having the function of reflecting all kinds of image of the objects of different names and forms in front of it.

The mirror is not being contaminated/influenced/changed by the presence of the reflection of all the different objects of names and forms being reflected on it. Neither is the mirror being contaminated/influenced/changed by the absence of the reflection of any particular object of names and forms that is not present.

The mirror doesn’t analyze/judge/compare the different objects of names and forms.

The mirror has no likes or dislikes, agreements or disagreements and desires of want and doesn’t want towards the objects of names and forms.

The mirror has no intention or expectation to be reflecting/not reflecting any particular object of names and forms.

The mirror doesn’t have desire/intention/aspiration/expectation to be good or bad, or to influence/change/control all the names and forms to be the way that ‘I’ want them to be, or the way that ‘I’ think and believe how they should be.

The mirror doesn’t interfere with/influence/change the objects of names and forms being what they are, as they are.

The mirror doesn’t ‘hold on’, or ‘cling onto’, or ‘possess’, or ‘identifying with’ any particular reflection/image of the different objects of names and forms being reflected on it.

The mirror doesn’t enjoy or suffer and doesn’t become good or bad, positive or negative, happy or unhappy, meaningful or meaningless, useful or useless, regardless of the presence or absence of any kind of objects of names and forms being reflected/not being reflected on it.

As the mirror is selfless/egoless/’I’less/intentionless/desireless. It doesn’t has a self-identity, or self-image, or intentional duty/action of “I am a ‘beautiful’ and ‘useful’ mirror being here to ‘reflect’ the image of names and forms.”

Although the reflections/images of the objects of names and forms might be distorted/contorted/corrupted/blurred by some cracks/dirt/dust/stains/movements of the cracked/dirty/dusty/stained/non-stilled mirror, but the mirror is neither enjoying nor suffering, neither it’s being pleased or displeased by the crack/dirt/dust/stain/movements on it or the distorted/contorted/corrupted/blurred reflections/images being reflected on it. Neither will the selfless/egoless/’I’less objects of names and forms are being changed/influenced/contaminated by their distorted/contorted/corrupted/blurred reflections/images being reflected on the cracked/dirty/dusty/stained/non-stilled mirror.

The mind that is void of ignorance and egoism, is not different from the mirror, reflecting all kinds of names and forms that the mind perceives through the senses, selflessly/intentionlessly/desirelessly, being undetermined/uncontaminated/uninfluenced/unchanged/undisturbed by the presence or absence of all kinds of names and forms, of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, sensations, feelings, emotions, thoughts/thinking/belief/knowledge, all kinds of action/reaction, behavior, relationship, way of life, condition and situation, and all the impermanent changes of all and everything.

The selfless/egoless/’I’less mind is not being determined/contaminated/influenced/changed/disturbed/enjoyed or suffered/pleased or displeased by the presence or absence of any impurity.

Neither is the selfless/egoless/’I’less mind and the selfless objects of different names and forms being determined/contaminated/influenced/changed/disturbed/enjoyed or suffered/pleased or displeased by the distorted/contorted/corrupted/blurred/incorrect/false thinking or understanding towards the names and forms being perceived under the presence of impurities, or the truth of things as it is when the names and forms are being perceived under the absence of impurities, or the impermanent changes of all the names and forms.

The perception of the ‘existence’/’presence’/’experience’ of all kinds of goodness and badness, rightfulness and wrongfulness, positiveness and negativeness, fullness and emptiness, happiness and unhappiness, meaningfulness and meaninglessness, loved and unloved, deserving and undeserving, enjoyments and suffering is merely the mind is being ignorant towards ignorance, being limited by the particular passionate worldly egoistic thinking and belief to analyze, judge, compare, expect, desire, feel, aspire, inspire, act and react, enjoy and suffer, ceaselessly.

The ignorant egoistic minds argue – “We are living beings with a soul, thinking, passion, feelings and emotions. We are not a thing like the mirror that has no soul, thinking, passion, feelings and emotions.” If so, it shows that it’s the existence of a soul, thinking, passion, feelings and emotions are the ‘culprit’ of all kinds of disturbs, evilness, wrongfulness, hurtfulness, dramas, discrimination, anger, hatred, violence, conflicts, afflictions, miseries, or suffering.

After all, the mirror is not ‘the mirror’ and the mind is not ‘the mind’. They are just what they are.

Be free.

Go beyond the idea of ‘I’

Upon realization of Selflessness/I-lessness and the only existence is the present moment now where there’s neither past nor future, all kinds of disturb, unrest, anxiety, fear, dissatisfaction, disappointment, anger, hatred, jealousy, greed, hurts, regret, guilt, painful sorrow, worry, animosity, offensiveness, defensiveness, unhappiness, pride, arrogance, and all kinds of connection/relationship/duty/responsibility with particular names and forms, vanished or ceased existing. All actions are being performed out of compassion, not out of the sense of duty and responsibility. There’s no need of ‘healing’ or ‘positive thinking’ to be free from ‘hurts’ or ‘negative thinking’.

Without the idea of ‘I’, life is just what it is – Impermanent, selfless, intentionless and desireless. It’s neither ‘good’ nor ‘not good’, transcending time, space and causation, as it doesn’t need to ‘be mould into’ or ‘be acknowledged’ as ‘good life’ or ‘not good life’ based on the existence and non-existence of certain qualities of names and forms that are limited by time, space and causation. It exists only at this present moment, transcending the memories of the past and the imaginations towards the future. It’s undetermined by all kinds of cultural/national/family/community/social/religious/spiritual ‘appropriateness’, ‘practices’, ‘rituals’, ‘achievements’, ‘activities’, ‘mourning’, ‘celebrations’ or ‘festivals’, undetermined by the mind perception of all the different qualities of names and forms, or any kind of thinking/belief/feeling/relationship/appearance/condition/ability/disability/conduct/experience, undetermined by cultural/national/social/racial/religious/political/personal/gender/professional ‘worldly identities’, transcending the sense of satisfaction, accomplishment, goodness, happiness and meaningfulness. Life is free as it is.

Being bound by the idea of ‘I’, life is being limited and conditioned by egoistic intention and desire, being determined by time, space and causation, of the existence and non-existence of certain qualities of names and forms that ‘I’ desire and don’t desire, to be acknowledged as ‘good life’ or ‘not good life’. Life isn’t just what it is, but it’s ‘my life’ and ‘the life that I desire it to be’, and from there, the idea of ‘I’ extends its possessiveness and authority onto the world, “This is ‘my world’ and ‘I’ want ‘my world’ to be the way that I desire it to be.”

Due to ignorance, life is being determined very much by a past and a future that ‘I’ desire or don’t desire. It’s being determined by ‘my’ cultural/national/family/community/social/religious/spiritual ‘appropriateness’, ‘practices’, ‘rituals’, ‘achievements’, ‘activities’, ‘mourning’, ‘celebrations’ or ‘festivals’, being determined by the mind perception of the different qualities of names and forms to feel, think, behave, desire, act and react, being bound by the actions and the fruit/results/consequences of actions, being determined by the different kinds of thinking/belief/feeling/relationship/appearance/condition/ability/disability/conduct/experience and all the cultural/national/social/racial/religious/political/personal/gender/professional ‘worldly identities’ of ‘mine’ or what ‘I’ think is ‘who I am’. The entire life is being juggled around the attainment of the sense of satisfaction, accomplishment, goodness, happiness and meaningfulness.