Help oneself, love oneself, take care oneself

There are those who would lie and steal, and keep telling untrue pitiful stories to themselves and others to justify their own ignorance and ignorant life decision making and behavior and the consequences of their ignorance.

People don’t like to take responsibility for their ignorance and the consequences of their ignorance, but they like to tell themselves and other people about their pitiful life stories of how pitiful/helpless is their tragic and sympathy deserving difficult and challenging life conditions and situations in order to get other people’s sympathy, moral and financial support, but actually in truth, most of the difficulties and challenging life conditions and situations are deriving from their ignorant thinking/belief/behavior/decision making and their passionate lustful desires and greedy ambitions of living a passionate enjoyable comfortable lifestyle with big money spending high living expenses as well as having children and grandchildren that they couldn’t manage to support emotionally/financially, or to bring up properly with patience and the correct guidance, but the ignorance of themselves has become the children’s ‘role model’ of what they are becoming, of getting into financial debts, messy troubles and broken relationships with children at young age, where they don’t have the emotional/financial support, patience and correct guidance that their children need from the parents, and ‘out of desperation’, they would lie and steal and telling themselves and other people about untrue pitiful stories of themselves that they deserve to get sympathy, help, love, care and support from other people.

The grandchildren are unwittingly becoming exactly like their parents and grandparents, if this ignorance doesn’t stop, if these grandchildren don’t know how to think; if they don’t help themselves as they expect the deserving help from others; if they don’t love themselves as they expect the deserving love from others; if they don’t take care themselves as they expect the deserving care and support from others; but just being there in their most sympathy deserving look expecting sympathy, love, affection, care and support from other people, by ceaselessly telling and reminding themselves and others untrue pitiful stories about how much they deserve sympathy, love, affection, care and support from other people, they will become the same as their parents and their grandparents.

People who really want to ‘help’ others who are living with difficult and challenging life condition and situation, must be aware of this ignorant thinking, belief and behavior in most people.

Most of the time, people might think and believe that themselves are very sympathetic and compassionate people who are generously helping ‘those poor pitiful suffering people’, by showing people sympathy, help, love, affection, care and support that they think and believe that these people deserved to be getting from other people, but they are actually empowering the ignorance in people as well as in themselves.

Out of this ignorant sympathetic reaction, people keep telling the young children from broken family with financial difficulty that they are so pitiful, that they deserve sympathy, help, love, affection, care and support from other people, without knowing that many of these children would become the victims of people with selfish intention and get caught in young age childbearing, child marriage or sexual exploitation/abuse, because they are longing to receive ‘help’, ‘love’, ‘affection’, ‘care’ and ‘support’ emotionally and financially from other people.

If people truly want to help others (young children or adults) who are living with hard and challenging life conditions and situations to come out from that kind of difficult challenging life condition and situation, it’s to teach and guide these people towards liberation from ignorance, the root cause of suffering, that how they should learn to help themselves, to love themselves and to take care themselves by freeing themselves from ignorant thinking and behavior and the consequences of ignorance, without the ignorant idea or thinking of ‘these poor pitiful suffering people’ deserve to be receiving sympathy, or help, or love, or care, or support from other people.

While those who receive sympathy, help, love, care or support from other people need to learn how to be free from the ignorance of the thinking and belief of they should expect or they deserve sympathy, help, love, care and support from other people, and other people are ‘obliged’ to show them sympathy, help, love, care and support just because they think and believe that their life conditions and situations are somehow more difficult and challenging than many other people.

Many people would justify to themselves that “Out of desperation derived from having to live under difficult and challenging life conditions and situations, they think and believe that it’s okay to tell lies and steal and tell ‘as pitiful as possible’ untrue stories to get moral and financial help and support from other people that they think and believe that they deserve to be getting. And if they don’t get what they think they deserve to be getting, they’ll get disappointed, unhappy and angry, and when they are disappointed, unhappy and angry, they would do destructive things/actions that would hurt themselves and others, and they blame life and the world for their actions and reactions or behavior, as they think and believe that their destructive hurtful behavior is due to life and the world is being cruel and harsh on them.”

While other ignorant minds/people also empower that ignorant idea/thinking/belief about it’s because life and the world is being cruel and harsh on people, that’s why people would behave like that. “Oh, such pitiful people. They behave like that because life is so hard and cruel on them.”

That’s the huge ignorance that most minds/people who think themselves are ‘good and compassionate human beings’ don’t see in themselves.

One doesn’t need to tell lies and steal, or involve in activities that hurt oneself and others, and doesn’t need to behave in a destructive way towards oneself and/or others, no matter how hard and difficult life is, or how cruel and harsh the world is. It’s mere ignorance when people justify their self-destructive hurtful behavior as the result of a hard and difficult life that they have. Those who understand, they won’t empower this ignorance. Those who don’t understand, they would get offended by this teaching. And that’s their freedom of thinking, actions and reactions.

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Love dispassionately, desirelessly, compassionately and unconditionally

Whether the past experiences were something good or not good, pleasant or unpleasant, happy or unhappy, desirable or undesirable, let them go.

Whether the future will be okay or not okay, let it be.

Do our best, perform all our duties and responsibilities without forcing ourselves beyond our limitation, and let go the fruit of action.

Live in the present, and whether this present is good or not good, this is also impermanent.

Live as we are, without attachment, identification, craving and aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation.

Love everyone as they are, without attachment, identification, craving and aversion, judgment, comparison and expectation.

Love ourselves, be free from clinging and craving towards love and kindness from others. Allow others to love and be kind to us, or not.

If one knows how to take care oneself, which is taking care of one’s mind and loving oneself, one can love others dispassionately, desirelessly, compassionately and unconditionally. One stops hurting oneself and others, especially those whom we think we love and whom are in a relationship with us.

Be free.

Children grow up without a father or a mother or both parents

Of course, it would be good if the children grow up in an environment that they are being loved and supported by both ‘loving’ parents.

If due to unforeseen circumstances, one of the parents is not there to love and support the children as they grow up, it would be good if at least there is a ‘loving’ father or mother being there to love and support the children.

If due to unforeseen circumstances, both of the parents are not there to love and support the children as they grow up, it would be good if they can depend on some other people’s charity, love and support until they become independent.

If due to unforeseen circumstances, there’s nobody being there to love and support the children as they grow up, that they have to depend on themselves and nature, it would be good if the children know how to love themselves and be independent without self-pity, self-blame and bitterness, no matter how difficult and harsh it can be.

If due to unforeseen circumstances, the children grow up in an environment where one or both of the parents or the care taker, is ignorant, unloving, selfish and abusive, it would be better if the children grow up without the parents or any care takers. Growing up in an environment surrounded by and under the influence of ignorant people with ignorant behavior can be worst than being alone not be surrounded by ignorant people with ignorant influences. Children grow up under the care of one or both of the parents are not necessarily well brought up to have the correct understanding of life and be free from unhappiness and suffering, who won’t hurt themselves or other beings out of ignorance and egoism, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

If life appears to be challenging and difficult, most important is that one knows how to love oneself, and has peace and compassion. It’s not a suffering or unfortunate if one grows up being abandoned or unloved or unsupported or being abused, if one has self-awareness and self-realization, be free from ignorance and egoism. There’s no need of self-pity, self-blame, anger, hatred, envy, bitterness, defensiveness, offensiveness, fear or worry.

Being alone, by oneself, of solitude, is not something ‘bad’ or ‘difficult’ or ‘hardship’ or ‘suffering’. It’s indeed a great ‘fortune’ to immerse into the silence of solitude, of peace and compassion, being free from ignorance and egoism.

Many people are surrounded by some or many other people, of family and friends, but they are not necessarily peaceful and be free from suffering.

Be free.

Have I fully accepted and love myself as I am?

“Have I fully accepted and love myself as I am?”

If there’s something that we don’t like or ‘hate’ about ourselves, may it be the physical condition and appearance, or the state of mind, or the personality, or the physical and mental abilities and achievements, or the relationships with everyone, or anything that we think we feel dissatisfied and disappointed about ourselves, and we want or expect ourselves to be a human being, or a person, or something whom we are not, then we haven’t know how to accept and love ourselves as we are, and we will also don’t know how to accept and love others as they are.

We will always expect everyone and the surrounding environment to be exactly the way how we want it to be and how we believe it should be, or else we won’t be satisfied or happy. And we will never be. It is not because there’s something wrong or bad about everyone and everything, or they are not good enough, but, it is our own ignorance and the play of the egoism that make ourselves to be in the state of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

If we don’t know how to love ourselves, we also don’t know the real meanings of compassion.

We might think we know what is compassion, and we want to be compassionate beings, and we want to perform compassionate actions, but we aren’t really compassionate, if we don’t even know how to fully accept and love ourselves as we are.

Be happy.