Freedom in all kind of relationships

Some minds are troubled/disturbed by the existence of relationships that are not the way that they would like it to be, and some minds are troubled/disturbed by the past relationships that were not the way that they liked it to be, while some minds are troubled/disturbed by the absence of relationships that they would like to have. The ever-restless clinging mind is always looking forward for ‘something’ that isn’t here, or a ‘reality’ that is not what it is in the present. There’s nothing wrong with that, as it is the nature of the impure egoistic mind, just that the mind is not free.

The minds that don’t know and the ones who think they know but they don’t really know what is going on in the mind of attachment and non-attachment, there is no peace or freedom regardless of whether they have a few or many relationships, or don’t have any relationships. The minds are being determined by the existence and non-existence of relationships, the quality of the relationships and the impermanent changes of the relationships. The minds are not being in the present, being determined or disturbed by the past pleasant and unpleasant experiences/memories and future anticipations/non-anticipations, as well as being determined by the perceived reality in the present.

The minds that attached onto worldly passionate thinking and belief in search for the sense of self-esteem, confidence, fulfillment, happiness and meaningfulness in the qualities of names and forms or relationships are not free from the impure modifications/reactions of the mind perception of dissatisfaction, disappointment, anger, hurts, regret, guilt, loneliness, boredom, meaninglessness, fear, worry, grief, painful sorrow and suffering, and be disturbed upon coming in contact with the names and forms or relationships that are not the way that the minds like, agree with and desire.

The minds that know what is going on in the mind of attachment and non-attachment, they are peaceful and free as it is, regardless of whether they have a few or many relationships, or don’t have any relationships. They are not determined by the existence and non-existence of relationships, the quality of the relationships, or the impermanent changes of the relationships. The minds are being in the present without being determined or disturbed by the past pleasant and unpleasant experiences/memories and future anticipations/non-anticipations, and being undetermined by the perceived reality in the present.

They love, unconditionally/compassionately. They don’t fall in/out love. They love all and everything as they are, as it is, without expecting or interfering with all and everything have to be in certain ways.

They are free to give, or not. And when they give, they give their best within their ability and capacity of what is possible and available in the present, without attachment towards the actions or the fruit of actions, being free from discrimination, identification, intention, expectation, greed, possessiveness, clinging, craving and aversion, and allowing others whether to accept, receive, appreciate and be thankful towards what they give, or not, and thus being free from dissatisfaction, disappointment, anger, hurts, regret, guilt, loneliness, boredom, meaninglessness, fear, worry, grief, painful sorrow and suffering, and be undisturbed upon coming in contact with the names and forms or relationships that are not necessarily the way that most mind would like, agree with and desire.

There’s no judgment and expectation towards others for how others think, believe, behave, act and react, desire and don’t desire. There’s no ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’. There’s only actions and the consequences of actions.

All kinds of violence/conflicts start from “Desire of expecting, interfering, changing, controlling, over-powering and oppressing others’ thinking, beliefs, behaviors, actions and reactions to be the way that ‘I’ think and believe it should be.”

There’s neither right nor wrong when the dispassionate minds don’t perceive sadness or grief towards the dead ones while the passionate minds perceive sadness and grief towards the dead ones. It’s just the different modifications of mind perception/reactions functioning either under the influence of ignorance, or free from ignorance.

These dispassionate attachment-free minds are being perceived by the worldly passionate minds, including many of the ‘yoga practitioners’ and ‘yoga teachers’ in the world as ‘wrong’, ‘negative’, ‘heartless’, ‘feelingless’, ‘cold’, ‘selfish’, ‘self-centered’, ‘uncaring’, ‘unloving’, ‘unsympathetic’, ‘inhuman’, ‘madness’, ‘weird’, ‘abnormal’, and so on. All these judgments/labels derived from the worldly passionate minds don’t affect or disturb the dispassionate minds being peaceful and free as it is. It’s everyone’s freedom for how they perceive, act and react, judge and expect, or seeing what they want/like to see and not seeing what they don’t want/like to see.

“How can a ‘normal’ human being don’t feel sad or grieve for the death of another being, especially someone who loved you and whom you love and related to you dearly? It’s so wrong and inhuman.”

Indeed, that’s how most minds think, believe, behave, act and react – ‘Normal’ human beings should behave, act and react in ‘certain ways’ and shouldn’t behave, act and react in ‘certain ways’ based on the worldly thinking and belief about what is ‘right and wrong’, ‘should and shouldn’t’.

For the minds that know, there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with all the different kind of mind perceptions, way of thinking, belief and disbelief, behavior, actions and reactions. It’s just the minds that don’t know what is going on in the mind, they are functioning under the influence of ignorance, while being ignorant towards ignorance, and thus, being disturbed by the modifications of the mind perception/reaction towards all the perceived agreeable/disagreeable names and forms, and all kinds of dissatisfaction, disturbance, hurts, restlessness and suffering arise in the mind. There is a desire/need of receiving kindness, interaction, understanding, acceptance, appreciation and acknowledgment, and there’s perception/reaction of hurts and the desire/need to be healed from hurts.

It’s like when the ignorant mind experiencing something that it perceives/recognizes as ‘hurtful’ and ‘wrongful’, it feels hurt and angry about something, and there’s a desire/need to be healed from ‘hurts’ and ‘anger’. But when the mind sees the truth of ‘hurt’ and ‘anger’, being free from ignorance, the mind no longer perceives/feels hurt or angry about anything. There’s no desire/need to be healed from anything.

Be free.

Advertisements

The power or function of memory is neither good nor bad

Most people, are interested in boosting the power or function of the memory. So that one can remember as much as possible all the knowledge and skills that one has been learning, to do things, to remember everyone and everything that one has come in contact with from the past to the present. Otherwise, for most people, there’s no meanings or values in life existence, if one doesn’t remember any knowledge or skills that one has been learning and doesn’t remember the people/relationships that one has come in contact with and are related to. They want to remember ‘love’ and ‘happiness’ and ‘goodness’ and ‘achievements’. People want to remember everyone and everything, and be remembered by others, to be existing, to be meaningful, to be alive.

Meanwhile some people try their very best to forget all those unpleasant/unhappy/painful/hurtful memories that are disturbing and hurting them in the present now.

This power or function of memory is neither good nor bad. It has its benefits to humanity and some defects as well.

If a mind is free from ignorance and egoism, this mind can make use of the power of memory to remember all its learning and knowledge or skills to be doing something that would benefit oneself and others without attachment, identification, judgment, or expectation. One will not have craving or aversion towards the past pleasant/unpleasant experiences/feelings, and will not be disturbed or determined by being aware of the memory of all these past pleasant/unpleasant experiences/feelings, in the present now. There’s no judgment or expectation towards oneself or others based on the past pleasant/unpleasant experiences/feelings. There’s no suffering or miseries exist in this egoless mind.

Due to ignorance, the ego clings onto the past memories of pleasant/happy and unpleasant/unhappy experiences/feelings.

When remembering the pleasant/happy/accomplishing/satisfying experiences/feelings that are already gone and don’t exist in the present, there is suffering/unrest/dissatisfaction derived from missing and craving towards all those pleasant experiences/feelings.

When remembering the unpleasant/unhappy/painful/hurtful/fearful/regretful/guilty/disappointing/dissatisfying experiences/feelings, that are already gone and don’t exist in the present, there is suffering/unrest/unhappiness/painful sorrow/hurts/fear/regret/guilt/disappointment/dissatisfaction derived from aversion towards all those unpleasant experiences/feelings, continuously be disturbed or determined by all those unpleasant experiences/feelings, which is unnecessary.

And due to ignorance, people don’t just want to have a good and highly efficient function of the memory to remember the past of this life existence from birth till the present which one could barely remember a little bit of here and there without the precise/exact details, there are also many people who ‘believe’ in various/countless past lives before this life existence, and they are not just very interested in knowing/finding out what were their past lives, but they are also be disturbed or determined by what they think they know about their past lives. And not just that, they also very interested in knowing/finding out what will be their future lives, and be disturbed or determined by what they think they know about their future lives.

When people are dissatisfied with and don’t want to confront the reality that they perceive in the present, they try to runaway from this reality that they don’t like and don’t want, by imagining they have a better/nicer/happier reality in the past or in the future, being in an imaginary reality that they prefer, that they created for themselves, and somehow they might feel better and safer being in that imaginary reality. That’s their freedom.

People’s minds are already very busy/restless being disturbed and determined by the perceived experiences in the present now, not to say, to also be disturbed and determined by the past memories and the future imagination/anticipation/projection/expectation/speculation. “This is who I was and this is what I am and this is what I will be.”

People are being disturbed and determined mentally/emotionally/physically by the ignorant/egoistic attachment and identification towards the desires of craving and aversion, judgment and expectation towards all the perceived names and forms or experiences, whether it’s in the present, or remembering the past, or imagining the future.

Maybe people’s life in the present is not complicated/excited/busy enough, life is so dulled and bored, that’s why people try very best to bring back the past and project into the future, to spice up their life in the present?

So, if past lives exist, and someone somehow ‘recalls’ some good/pleasant/joyful/meaningful and bad/unpleasant/hurtful/painful/fearful memories of one’s past lives, and then so what? Missing the past pleasant past lives experiences and people whom one loved very much in past lives? What if one finds out that the people whom one loved very much in past lives are now one’s greatest enemies whom one hates and hurts very much in the present? Or be disturbed by the past unpleasant past lives experiences and people whom had hurt one very much in past lives? What if one finds out that the people whom had hurt one very much in past lives are now one’s best friend or lover or family or respected personal whom one loves very much in the present?

It’s truly unnecessary.

And so, when one truly realized the truth of what is going on in this mind, and goes beyond all the memories of past pleasant/unpleasant, or rightful/wrongful, or good/bad experiences/feelings, being free from attachment and identification with the past, the last moment and before, then there will be complete freedom in all the relationships with everyone now, in the present, it really doesn’t matter what happened just now, or yesterday, or last week, or last month, or last year, or last 20 years. It’s only the present moment. And even this present moment is impermanent. And this is actual lasting liberation that comes from the realization of the truth, it’s not the same as the momentary ‘high effect’ of numbing the mind through drugs and alcohol intoxication.

People, including some yoga and meditation practitioners, who like to relate YOGA and MEDITATION or HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS with getting high through drugs and alcohol intoxication, are only trying to momentary escape/runaway from suffering or miseries that they don’t want. They’ll go back to their suffering and miseries again, once the numbing effect of the drugs and alcohol disappeared. That’s their freedom for what they want to do with their body and their mind. It’s neither right nor wrong. But, yoga and meditation or higher consciousness has nothing to do with getting high through drugs and alcohol intoxication. People who truly practice yoga and meditation and have gone beyond the attachment or identification with the life existence of the body and the mind don’t need to get high or momentary relief by taking drugs or alcohol, as they don’t need to escape or runaway from suffering or miseries, as there’s none. There’s no craving for the momentary pleasant sensations/effects/relieves coming from the effect of drugs and alcohol.

If people couldn’t understand this, or one understood this, but one dislikes and disagrees with and doesn’t want this liberation due to the mind is conditioned to think in certain ways or believe in certain beliefs, or one understood this, but one couldn’t let go attachment and identification, that’s their freedom.

It’s okay whether the power or function of memory is good or not so good. It’s okay if the mind couldn’t remember this or that. It’s okay if the mind couldn’t remember everything and everyone as it was and as it is. It’s okay if the mind remember some past unpleasant/unhappy experiences or feelings. It’s okay if the mind couldn’t remember some past pleasant/happy experiences or feelings. It’s okay if the mind couldn’t remember someone who is somehow related to this body and this mind.

Be free.

How to see the truth of everything as it is and be free

People grieve and cry for the death of someone or something that they think and believe as good and right, that they love very much, that they think it doesn’t deserve to die. People feel glad and cheer for the death of someone or something that they think and believe as bad and wrong, that they hate very much, that they think it deserves to die.

Death is neither good nor bad, neither positive nor negative, neither happiness nor suffering, neither right nor wrong. It’s all about what we like and don’t like. When we feel grief and cry for ‘death’ is because we are losing something that we like. When we feel glad and cheer for ‘death’ is because we are getting rid of something that we don’t like.

Whenever we feel angry, upset, disturbed, hurt, sad or disagree about something, it’s not because people or things are being ‘bad’, ‘wrong’, ‘negative’, or ‘suffering’. It’s because we come in contact with something that we disagree with based on our thinking and belief of what is right and wrong, good and bad, or we are not getting what we like and want, we are losing what we like and want, and we are getting what we don’t like and don’t want.

People mourn for the death of those whom they love, that matter to them (people or animals or insects), and don’t mourn for the death of those whom they have no likes or dislikes, that don’t matter to them, and cheer for the death of those whom they hate and disagree with.

And hence, this allows us to understand that ‘death’ is neither good nor bad, neither happiness nor suffering, neither right nor wrong, neither positive nor negative. It’s all subjective reactions influenced by attachment towards the likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements, based on a particular personal thinking and belief.

It’s the desire of craving and aversion that generates unhappiness, disturb, hurts, resentment, painful sorrow and suffering in the mind. It is ignorance that causes the mind to think and believe that unhappiness, disturb, hurts, resentment, painful sorrow and suffering are caused by something bad, wrong, horrible, inhumane, negative or suffering.

Perform this inquiry into everything that our minds perceive and judge as good and bad, positive and negative, right and wrong, happiness and suffering.

Everything is just what it is. People are just being what they are. Things are just what they are. The world is just what it is.

There’s no clinging, craving, aversion, discrimination, hatred, fear, painful sorrow, or suffering.

There’s no good death or bad death. Everything is just arising and passing away.

If one doesn’t know this, one doesn’t know what is compassion, even though one identifies oneself as a compassionate being, and tries to be compassionate or practice compassion or perform compassionate actions.

Allow the mind to be open and see things as they are, uninfluenced by the conditioned/limited/subjective personal thinking and belief, egoism of attachment, identification, desire of craving and aversion, judgment and expectation, and ceaseless autonomous reactions of impurities.

If people don’t like or don’t agree with this, that’s their freedom of thinking, belief, actions and reactions.

Be free.

The practice of letting go and free ourselves from continue being hurt by past unhappy experiences…

There is no doubt that when somebody does something through speech or action that is hurtful to our feelings, we will feel hurt, upset and angry…

We have the rights to feel hurt, upset and angry in this very moment when somebody does or says something that is hurtful in this present moment… As that painful feeling of being hurt is a normal reaction towards some speech and action that our mind/ego recognizes as something “hurtful”, or it is a consequence derives from somebody’s “hurtful” speech and action.

In this very moment when the hurtful speech or action is happening, it is the responsible of that person for his or her “hurtful” speech and action that is causing us to feel hurt in this present moment… But, this is only valid in this very moment when it is happening. Afterwards, if we still continue to feel hurt, upset and angry, then it will be our own responsibility for allowing ourselves continue to be hurt and feel hurt, even though that “hurtful” incident has already gone, it doesn’t exist in the reality of the present moment now, but it only exists as part of our memories…

We are the one who is responsible for allowing ourselves continue to be hurt repeatedly over and over again by our own attachment towards our past unhappy memories… This hurt is no longer the responsibility or consequences of other people’s hurtful speech and action, but it is our own responsibility…

To love ourselves, to be kind and compassionate towards ourselves, it is our own choice and freedom to free ourselves from continue being hurt by past unhappy happenings or past painful experiences by forgive other people’s hurtful speech and action or wrong doings, by letting go of the past instantly…

Memories will still be there, either it will get stronger or gradually fade away, depending on how much energy we feed to them, but they are just a bunch of happy and unhappy memories… We cannot erase all the unhappy memories that we don’t like… But for sure, we can practice letting go of the past instantly by letting go of the attachment towards the past experiences whether they are good or bad experiences… Memories will be there coming and going in our mind, but they have no more power to influence us for how we feel in the present moment now…

And in order for us to be able to let go of the past unhappy experiences, we need to know the truth about how come we feel hurt and who is responsible for it?

By understanding the connection between the past memories and our emotions and feelings, and knowing what is going on when we felt hurt in the past and why we continue to feel hurt by the past unhappy experiences in the present moment now, and knowing what is being kind and compassionate towards all being including ourselves is also one of the beings, we need to be kind and compassionate towards ourselves, and love ourselves, we will know that the only way to heal ourselves from painful experiences is by letting go of the past instantly, by practicing forgiveness and letting go…

To forgive other people’s wrong and hurtful actions and speech, is being kind and compassionate towards ourselves… Let go of anger and hatred… Free ourselves from continue being hurt by past unhappy experiences which don’t exist in the reality of the present moment now, but only exist as a phantom that lives in our memories playing tricks onto our feelings in the present moment now, which is meaningless and wasting our energy to entertain it…

It is not about denying or ignoring our feelings. It is about to feel or be aware of what we are feeling now in the present moment, allow all these feelings to arise and pass away, and let them go…. It doesn’t matter if they are good feelings or bad feelings, happy feelings or unhappy feelings, pleasant feelings or unpleasant feelings, feel or be aware of their presence in this very moment, and let them go…

Be happy.