Yoga and ‘positive empowerment’ ideologies?

Many people, including yoga practitioners and yoga teachers, would think and believe that yoga philosophy or the teachings of yoga and the yoga practice is about ‘positive empowerment’.

There’s nothing wrong or bad with ‘positive empowerment’ ideologies, it helps many people to ‘positively’ deal with the perception of certain worldly life experiences that are not necessarily the way that the mind would like it to be, that are quite challenging, exhausting, unpleasant, painful or harsh, by being ‘positive’, ‘optimistic’, ‘hopeful’, ‘confident’, ‘worthy’, ‘strong’, and etc, just that it is not what yoga and yoga practice is about.

Worldly passionate egoistic minds that are identifying with and attached onto the qualities of names and forms of family and cultural background, worldly thinking and belief, intelligence, knowledge, creativity, higher technologies, higher standard of living, enjoyment of the senses, sense of achievement and meaningfulness, sense of belonging, social community interaction and activities, relationships, friendships, fun elements, good condition of the body and the living environment, and etc, wouldn’t like or agree with the practice of yoga of renouncing worldly ideas/thinking/belief/habits and thinning-out/annihilation of the mind.

Only those who have realized the fleeting impermanence of all the names and forms in this worldly life existence, who have intense yearning for salvation or liberation from suffering, would perceive and understand worldly life existence differently from the passionate minds.

For the passionate minds, the worldly life existence is what they are and all they are, and they spend all the effort, energy, life span and sense of meaningfulness into creating and protecting what they think is ‘I’ and ‘mine’ – my life, my body, my mind, my name, my gender, my sexual orientation, my appearance, my action, my fruit of action, my health, my feelings, my education, my career, my wealth, my achievements, my results, my qualifications, my certifications, my accumulated experiences, my property, my things, my knowledge, my language, my personality, my professionalism, my talent, my skill, my ability, my strength, my love, my kindness, my goodness, my family, my ancestor, my birth place, my nationality, my race, my community, my tribe, my people, my country, my world, my planet earth, my universe, my culture, my religion, my thinking, my belief, my rights, my freedom, my happiness, my relationships, my friends, my relatives, my partner, my children, my grandchildren, my pets, my future, my children’s future, my interest, my hobbies, my collections, my ideas, my creativity, my ambitions, my generosity, my reputation, my confidence, my self-esteem, my pride, my contribution, my sacrifice, my effort, my time, my space, my yoga, my yoga mat, my yoga accessories, my yoga brand, my favorite yoga practice/yoga poses, my yoga school, my yoga students, my yoga teacher, my Guru, my disciples, my followers, my fans, my God, my things to do/enjoy before dying, and so on.

For the dispassionate minds, the worldly life existence is simply a precious momentary platform and priceless opportunity for them to work diligently to annihilate the mind/ignorance/egoism – the root of countless births and deaths (restlessness), and the consequence of that – suffering. The worldly passionate minds would ignorantly think that this is selfishness, that this doesn’t contribute anything to the world like all the other intelligent educated kind people who actively trying to do so many actions in order to change the world to be a better place or to be the way that they think it should be, but they don’t realize this serious stuff of yoga practice is indeed the greatest form of contribution towards humanity that anyone can give – to be free from ignorance/egoism/impurities and suffering, to be in peace and manifesting peace into the environment/the society/the world, unconditionally.

If someone really interested in practicing yoga or realizing yoga, must understand the difference between yoga (the annihilation of the ego/egoism and restraining/thinning-out the function/modification of the mind) and worldly ‘positive empowerment’ ideologies (the empowerment of the ego/egoism and stimulating/augmenting the function/modification of the mind).

The one who needs to be empowered and is being empowered by ‘positive empowerment’ ideologies is the ego. All these worldly ‘positive empowerment’ ideologies are stimulating/feeding/fueling/empowering/strengthening the thinking mind/egoism. While yoga practice is mainly to breakdown/annihilate the ego/egoism and stop stimulating/stop feeding/thinning out/annihilating the thinking mind (including the mind with all positive and good qualities.)

The one who truly understands yoga and practices yoga, doesn’t need to be empowered, encouraged, motivated, inspired, acknowledged, supported or accompanied by anything and anyone, but realizing the truth and lives in the truth, and not running away from or denying the undesirable/disagreeable reality perceived by the mind that it doesn’t like and doesn’t want, or trying to change the undesirable/disagreeable reality to be the way that the mind would like or want it to be.

Yoga practitioners or yoga teachers, who think and believe all beings/people, including themselves, need to be empowered, encouraged, motivated, inspired, acknowledged, supported, or accompanied by other(s), of family/community/teachers/friend circle/social network to live life, to look after themselves and/or others under their care, to be doing something beneficial to themselves and/or others, to be performing their duties and responsibilities towards themselves and/or others, and to perform the yoga and meditation practice to attain salvation, otherwise, they would be discouraged, demotivated or lack of inspiration to perform all these actions, then they aren’t really practicing yoga, even though they might think and believe that they have been practicing yoga for a long time or they are highly experienced in the yoga practice. Though it’s everyone’s freedom of how they understand and practice yoga.

This doesn’t mean that the world is a loveless place if all practice yoga or everyone doesn’t (need to) connect with other(s), to be giving or receiving love from one another, but in fact, it’s the contrary, the world will be full of ‘love’, as everyone is love itself and manifesting love unlimitedly, unconditionally, intentionlessly or selflessly. There’s needless to connect with other(s) or depend on receiving love from other(s) to feel love or loved by other(s). There’s no separateness, loneliness or meaninglessness.

It’s only those who haven’t realized the truth of ‘love’, will perceive separateness, loneliness and meaninglessness, and believe that all beings need to be giving and receiving love from one another, and have the need to connect with other(s), to be receiving love from other(s), to feel love and meaningfulness. That is not freedom, nor end of suffering. As there will always be many inhuman selfishness, cruelty, greed, violence or corruption in the world as most minds are not free from ignorance and egoism, and are functioning under the impulse for survival and gratification of desires. Even those who identifying themselves as ‘good’ beings/people who think they do many ‘good’ actions in this world would also want to discriminate/punish/hurt other(s) out of pride, self-protection, survival instinct, anger, hatred, hurt, fear, worry, and etc.

Love or peace is always there, as it is, never increase nor decrease, unaffected by the impermanent changes of good and bad qualities of names and forms. Those who realized this, are free from clinging onto or needing or craving for love from someone or somewhere. It’s only those under the influence of ignorance and egoism don’t realize this, and hence are not free, but finding momentary satisfaction and comforts in the qualities of names and forms that the mind likes and desires.

Dispassion, renounce worldly ideas, objects, activities, ties and relationships, non-attachment, non-identification, awareness, self-control, self-discipline, the correct understanding of the basic and yet essential teachings of yoga, and the four essential qualities of a Sadhaka – Viveka, Vairagya, Shatsampat and Mumukshutva, are the very basic qualities of a yoga practitioner or person who wants to practice yoga and realize yoga.

The real ‘Guru’ or teacher is there to guide the students to destroy/eliminate the ego/egoism and to thin-out the mind. Destroying/eliminating the ego/egoism and thinning-out the mind is the only objective/goal of all the yoga practice and it’s true compassion and the greatest contribution to humanity and the world. All other benefits deriving from performing the yoga practice are just some momentary side-effects. These side-effects cannot bring salvation or liberation. Yoga practitioners aren’t interested in all these momentary side-effects at all, but allowing them to be there as they are.

Everyone is free to practice yoga, or not. It’s everyone’s freedom for what they want to do with their life, their body and mind.

Be free.

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Missing someone or something or somewhere that we like and love?

The mind that is practicing yoga is free from attachment, clinging or craving, it doesn’t miss anyone or anything or anywhere.

Yoga practitioners who still always or occasionally feel missing someone or something or somewhere that they like and love very much, that is not here or unavailable or absent in the present, know that it’s a by-product of egoistic passionate desire of attachment, clinging or craving.

Miss seeing or being with someone. Miss doing something. Miss having something. Miss being somewhere. Miss seeing something. Miss hearing something. Miss smelling something. Miss tasting something. Miss feeling something. Miss thinking something.

Many people, including yoga practitioners, would think that yoga is about love, and believe that if we like and love someone or something or somewhere, if we appreciate someone or something or somewhere, we should feel that we miss them when they are in a distance, or out of sight, or unavailable, or absent, that we should think about them a lot, and we would worry about people and things and places that we like and love very much. We would wish to see or be with those whom we miss, or have the thing that we miss, or do the thing that we miss, or be at the place that we miss. That is what most minds that are full of passion, enthusiasm and love, do naturally. There’s nothing wrong with that, just that it’s not what yoga and yoga practice is about.

The love that is mentioned in the teaching of yoga, is unconditional love, or compassionate love, or love without attachment, that is free from attachment, clinging or craving and ‘missingness’.

Missing someone or something or somewhere is the manifestation of attachment, clinging or craving towards what the egoistic mind likes and wants, it’s nothing to do with being kind and compassionate towards all living beings and non-living objects that are impermanent.

So, next time if we feel missing someone or something or somewhere that we like and love, then know that it’s just a manifestation of egoistic desire of attachment, clinging and craving. If we don’t get this or don’t understand this, then we are not practicing yoga even though we might be doing or teaching yoga everyday for many years. If we got this or understood this, then without judgment, we start practice letting go of attachment or practice detachment.

Doesn’t miss anyone or anything or anywhere, doesn’t mean that we don’t like or don’t love or don’t appreciate anyone, or anything, or anywhere. Just that our liking and love and appreciation towards everyone, everything and everywhere is without attachment, clinging or craving.

Contemplate on this and be free.

Teach the children to accept and love themselves as they are

If we want to help to build a more peaceful and compassionate society, it’s very important to have young generations that are selfless, peaceful, wise and compassionate, and hence, how the parents or caretakers and the influence of the surrounding environment for the children growing up to be adults/leaders that are endowed with awareness, self-discipline, self-control, independence, truthfulness, honesty, peace, wisdom and compassion is very crucial.

We need to teach the children how to accept and love themselves as they are, to develop awareness, independence, self-discipline and self-control, to inquire the truth of everything, to realize the truth of impermanence and selflessness, to be free from craving and aversion, to have unconditional peace and compassion, so that they don’t need to depend on the qualities of names and forms that are impermanent to be who they are. They don’t need to depend on receiving other people’s love, kindness, acknowledgement, compliments, supports, friendships, relationships and companionship, or depending on a wishful desirable perfect world, to be who they are, to be proud, to be confident, to feel meaningful, to be happy, and to perform actions that are wholesome to themselves and others, out of free-will, out of compassion towards oneself and others, without attachment or identification towards the actions and the result of the actions to be who they are.

They know what are their ability and limitation. They are not defined by their ability and limitation to be who they are. They do their best to achieve what they want to achieve, but they have no attachment or identification towards the ability or limitation, the achievement or non-achievement. They allow other people to think, to judge, to compare, to expect, to like and dislike, to agree and disagree with towards their ability and limitation, but they are not affected or defined by other people’s thinking, judgment, comparison, expectation, likes and dislikes, agreements and disagreements.

Being free from pride and arrogance, they know how to take consideration towards other people’s advice, but without taking other people’s advice blindly, and they know how to make use of the opportunity that is available to make decision and perform actions that they think are the best, without attachment or expectation towards the outcome of the decision made and the actions performed.

They can work in a group, cooperating with all levels and respecting all levels as equally important, without the sense of superiority or inferiority, knowing that the entire system requires every levels to work together for it to be functioning, but at the same time, they can work independently as well, when cooperation from others is not available.

The society will naturally have more peace and harmony by having less personal, family, relationship, social, political and religious problems if the children grow up to be adults/leaders in the society who are endowed with peace, wisdom and compassion, being free from ignorance, egoism and impurities.

Unfortunately, most people who became parents are not free from ignorance, egoism and impurities, and are being conditioned and influenced by worldly, cultural, social and religious thinking and belief to live their life and how they bring up their children. Many children grow up to be adults/leaders living in the society with some sorts of psychological issues and behavior problems, full of discrimination, pride, arrogance, dissatisfaction, disappointment, anger, hatred, greed, jealousy, selfishness, aggression, violence, corruption, untruthfulness, dishonesty, offensiveness, defensiveness, animosity, depression, low self-esteem, hurts, regret, guilt, fear and worry. And then, when they try to runaway from or cover up what they think is not good or bad or negative or imperfect about themselves, that they don’t like about themselves, that they don’t want any others to know about it, they might create further and deeper problems for themselves and others, in their life and relationships, and in the society.

This is due to many parenting are influenced by the worldly, cultural, social and religious thinking and belief that emphasizing on empowering the ego of the children to boost their self-esteem or self-confidence or self-image by giving them praise and compliment and rewards to motivate and encourage them to be what the parents expect them to be and by giving them criticism and threat and punishment to discourage them to be what the parents don’t want them to be, telling them that they need to do well and be good but also always be better and better, so that they can please other people, to attain praise and compliment, love, support, approval, agreement, acknowledgement and friendship or relationship from others to be who they are.

Whether they are aware of unaware of it, many parents bring up their children by emphasizing on the empowerment of the worldly egoistic nature with great attachment and identification towards the qualities of names and forms, to be somebody that the children and their parents and other people would be proud of. This empowerment of egoism generates separateness and discrimination, that give rise to many personal, family, relationship and social problems in one’s life and in the society.

If children start early to develop correct understanding towards the thinking and behavior pattern, actions and reactions, craving and aversion, feelings and emotions, all sorts of mind activities and impurities, the ego and egoism, and train to eradicate egoistic thinking and behavior that give rise to restlessness and the impurities of dissatisfaction, disappointment, greed, anger, hatred, jealousy, corruption, untruthfulness, dishonesty, violence, animosity, offensiveness, defensiveness, hurts, regret, guilt, fear and worry, they can be kind and compassionate towards other beings, but without expecting or craving for love and kindness and appreciation from other people in return, without clinging onto other people’s love and kindness and appreciation to be who they are.

Children growing up suffering from low self-esteem is because of the parents make them think and believe that they have to be in certain ways and achieve certain qualities, in order to be accepted and be loved by their parents and other people. They were told that they don’t deserve love and they shouldn’t love themselves if they are not good enough, that they shouldn’t accept themselves as they are, as they need to be better and better, and never stop being better. There will never a point that they are good enough so that they can accept and love themselves, as they are. Because the parents are so afraid that their children will stop improving themselves if they think they are good enough. And so, the parents make sure that their children never think that they are good enough.

When these children couldn’t be in certain ways or achieve certain qualities, their parents will show dissatisfaction, disappointment and aggressiveness towards them, and this make them think and believe that they are not good enough, that they don’t deserve acceptance and love from their parents and other people, or even from themselves. They don’t know how to love themselves and they also don’t know how to accept or love other people as they are, as they will also be like their parents, that they will also have expectation towards other people to meet up with their expectation towards other people, that they have to be in certain ways and achieve certain qualities, to be good enough, but they will never be good enough, as they need to be better and better.

If the children grow up knowing how to accept and love themselves as they are, unconditionally, they will always accept and love themselves as they are, regardless they are being in the way that their parents or other people expect them to be, or not, and whether they achieve the qualities that their parents and other people expect them to achieve, or not. And they will also know how to accept and love other people as they are, without expecting other people have to be the way that they think they should be, or to achieve certain qualities that they like and agree with.

It’s not easy to guide children. Parents or caretakers who devote their time, effort, patience, love and acceptance towards the children unconditionally, is a great yoga practice. They don’t need to be regularly doing some forms of yoga exercise, or breathing exercise, or chanting and prayer, or ritual, or to call themselves yoga practitioners or yogis, but by nurturing young children to grow up becoming responsible, peaceful and compassionate members of the family and the society, without egoism of attachment, identification and expectation, just do their best, and let go of the outcome, allowing the children to learn and evolve as they are, and love them as they are, unconditionally, is a great yoga practice and great contribution to humanity.

Be free.

Fine as it is

Most minds are being conditioned by the worldly thinking and belief about “One has to be happy in order to live life meaningfully, as well as one has to live life meaningfully in order to be happy.”

What is “live life meaningfully” and what the mind believes as “happiness” is different for different people.

Be free from the thinking and belief about one has to be happy to live life meaningfully, and vice versa, is a great liberation.

It’s okay that sometimes the mind is not okay, that the mind doesn’t feel happy in this present moment, or for some time. It’s impermanent, and it’s not ‘I’. It’s okay that sometimes the mind doesn’t feel living life meaningfully in this present moment, or for some time. It’s impermanent, and it’s not ‘I’. The mind doesn’t need to be happy or feel meaningful all the time.

People like to say “If there’s no happiness, life is meaningless.” and most people think and believe that happiness and meaningfulness is the presence of something good and positive and the absence of something bad and negative. Some people also say, “If there’s no good health, there’s no happiness.”

Many people relate “live life meaningfully” as being able to do what we like to do, go where we want to go, live where we want to live, have a healthy body, have a decent livelihood, live a good quality of life, have different varieties of social circles/networks, make a lot of friends, and either live a happy single life, or find a good life partner/spouse to set up a happy family.

People who have a difficult life condition, or have been experiencing ill-treatment from other people, or have to deal with physical injury or health problems, or suffer from physical or emotional damages due to other people’s ignorance and ignorant behavior, or couldn’t make a living due to bad economy or oppression, or under went a painful divorce or break-up, or would love to have a family, but for some reasons, they couldn’t have a family, it doesn’t mean that they can’t live life meaningfully or be happy, disregards all the ordeals or difficulties that they have to go through. All these undesirable experiences don’t give rise to suffering or the sense of meaninglessness to those who truly practice yoga and realize yoga. Only those who are not free from ignorance and egoism, who attached onto qualities of names and forms to be happy and feel meaningful, or not, will be determined by all kinds of desirable and undesirable life experiences to be who they are, to be happy and feel meaningful, or not.

In yoga, it’s about freeing the mind from this conditional thinking and belief about the achievement and possession of certain qualities of names and forms to be the reasons for one to be happy, or to deserve happiness and to live life meaningfully, or else, the absence of the achievement and possession of those qualities of names and forms will result in no reason for one to be happy, or to deserve happiness and to live life meaningfully.

One doesn’t need to be happy or feel happy all the time, in order to feel meaningful or to live life meaningfully. One doesn’t need to feel meaningful or to live life meaningfully, in order to be happy. One is peaceful and happy as one is.

Those who are free, they do their best to do what they like and want to do, and achieve what they want to achieve in this life existence, but they are not defined by what they like and want to do, or what they want to achieve, and whether they are able to do what they like and want to do, or achieve what they want to achieve, or not, in order to be happy, or to feel meaningful and to live life meaningfully, or not.

There’s nothing wrong that many people believe that all human beings need to have motivation and expectation to keep pushing themselves, to keep improving, to attain success or higher and higher success in life, as well as to have faith in their religion or ‘God’, then they deserve happiness or will be blessed with happiness and living life meaningfully. Or else, they believe that those who are contented with the present moment as it is, or don’t have any religion practice, or don’t believe in ‘God’, they don’t deserve happiness or will not be blessed with happiness or don’t live life meaningfully. But, that’s not the truth, because people can still be unhappy and suffering from all kinds of impurities in their own minds, if their minds are not free from ignorance and egoism, even if people attain success in life from time to time, or have a healthy body, or have a higher quality of life, or have a religion practice and believe in ‘God’. Their minds will still be disturbed by something that they don’t like, don’t want and don’t agree with. There’s no peace.

If ‘God’ exists, and if ‘God’ is almighty and all love, ‘God’ bless all and everyone and everything to be sharing this space of the universe, disregards human beings believing or disbelieving in ‘God’, including all those that are non-human beings, that don’t have any particular thinking and belief of a religion or ‘God’.

While yoga practice is to inquire the truth of everything that the mind comes in contact with (including the teachings of yoga), and be free from being conditioned or limited by all kinds of worldly thinking and belief, freeing the mind from ignorance, egoism and impurities, being free from attachment, identifications, desire of craving and aversion, judgment and expectation, being free from anger, hatred, jealousy, dissatisfaction, disappointment, hurts, guilt, regret, violence, ill-will, animosity, speculation, anticipation, agitation, depression, sorrow, defensiveness, offensiveness, loneliness, anxieties, longing, fear and worry, being free from the pleasant and unpleasant past experiences and future imaginations, living in the present from moment to moment, to realize unconditional peace and love that is beyond all the worldly objects of different qualities of names and forms about what is and what is not “happiness” and “live life meaningfully”.

One doesn’t need to keep pushing the body and mind to go beyond its limitation in order to attain success, or higher success, in order to be happy, or to live life meaningfully. One can be very successful in everything that one wants to achieve, but one is not defined by the success or the achievements to be ‘I’, to be happy or to live life meaningfully.

One doesn’t need to be someone that will make oneself and other people feel proud of, to be happy or to live life meaningfully.

One doesn’t need to be good enough according to the worldly thinking and belief about what is “good enough”, to be happy, or to deserve happiness and live life meaningfully.

It doesn’t mean that one stops performing actions, but one doesn’t need any motivation or expectation to motivate one to perform actions that are wholesome to oneself and others. Actions are being performed without the need of motivation or intention, without attachment, identification or expectation towards the actions and the fruit of actions.

It’s okay if people don’t like this yoga teaching and practice. That’s their freedom.

Be free.

Learn how to be alone and do nothing, without feeling lonely, left out, unloved, unworthy or bored

Solitude or aloneness is being perceived by many people as something terrible or wrong that can happen to a human being. That is because people’s minds are being conditioned to think and believe in that way. And there’s nothing to be argued about as people’s minds are thinking in certain ways and believing in certain beliefs. That’s how people are being taught and brought up by their parents or the society for how people think and what to believe.

Many people never learn how to be alone by themselves and do nothing, without clinging onto other people, to be surrounded by other people to be interacting or communicating with them physically and mentally. They will feel lonely, left out, unloved, unworthy or bored, if there is a prolonged period of time that there are no people around them to be interacting with. They constantly looking/craving for physical and mental attention, love and companionship. A lot of time this is because the parents never teach or allow their children to learn how to be alone by themselves and do nothing, without feeling lonely, left out, unloved, unworthy or bored. The parents try to give maximum love and attention to their children and make their children always be busy with doing something and interacting with some other people, either mentally or physically, or both. They think this is good for them and to show that they love and care for their children very much.

That is also one of the important elements why there are people suffering from loneliness, low self-esteem, depression, boredom, unloved, unworthiness, meaninglessness, and so on. The children are being brought up in the way of building up intense attachment towards the love, attention and companionship from one or both of their parents or caretakers, but the parents or caretakers will not be always being by their side, and there will not be always somebody there to give them the attention, love and companionship that they like and want, that they cling onto and crave for. They never learn how to be alone by themselves and do nothing. Their minds are being used to interactive stimulation, receiving inputs and expressing outputs. These minds can’t stand being silence without any inputs or outputs for a few moments. The sense of loneliness, left out, unloved, unworthiness, depression, meaninglessness and boredom kicks in as soon as they are being away from family and friends that are always being close by physically, to interacting with and doing things together all the time.

Just like for the children without a father or both parents, people might think that by showing them lots of love and attention will help them and benefit them. People like to say, “People need love.” and they think that it means giving or showing love (affection) to other people who need love. But what people really need is realizing the unconditional unlimited love in themselves, without expecting love (affection) through receiving love (affection) from others. If people don’t know how to teach or allow the children to be independent, how to love themselves and how to be alone by themselves, that they can be happy and live life meaningfully as they are, even without one or both of the parents being by their side physically or mentally giving them personal love, attention and companionship, then if the children don’t get enough of love, attention and companionship from the people who are not being there for them all the time, these children will try to cling onto other people looking for attention, love and companionship.

It’s okay that one doesn’t have one or both of the parents being with them or to be there for them. Even if there is one or both of the parents being there for them, it doesn’t mean that the parents have to or will be there all the time, that there are times that one or both of the parents might not be there for them temporary or permanently. And it’s okay.

It’s okay that one doesn’t have anyone or friends and family members being with them or to be there for them. One can love oneself, whether doing something or doing nothing by oneself, and be happy and live life meaningfully being alone by oneself without anyone beside them to interact or communicate with physically or mentally. One has no craving for love, attention and companionship from other beings. One is peaceful as it is, being free from attachment and craving.

But all these children grow up without learning or knowing know how to be alone by themselves, and do nothing, without feeling lonely, left out, unloved, unworthy or bored. They suffer from loneliness, low self-esteem, unworthiness, boredom, depression and meaninglessness, if they think there’s no one there being with them or to be there for them, to interact with them, to give them love, attention and companionship.

Sooner or later, everyone will have to deal with solitude or aloneness at some stage in life whether we like it, or not. It is a natural process of life. It’s something wonderful if one knows the truth of aloneness or solitude. Only those who know this, will know.

Those who don’t know, they have strong aversion or fear towards solitude, afraid of being alone by themselves, and they will be suffering from loneliness, low self-esteem, unworthiness, boredom, meaninglessness and depression if there’s nobody being with them to be interacting or communicating with, physically or mentally. They think and believe that it’s because they are not good enough, that’s why they are being left out, unloved and being alone by themselves, that they are so pitiful without anyone, friends or family being with them, to give them love, attention and companionship, physically or mentally. They always feel that they are not good enough, that they need to be in competition with other people especially their brothers and sisters to get the maximum love and attention from their parents. They need other people to show thankfulness and appreciation for what they have done for others to feel that they and their effort of doing something are being appreciated and acknowledged. They always try very hard to please everybody to make everyone love them and acknowledge them that they are good enough and well-deserved with love and happiness. But, they don’t realize that they don’t have to please anyone to make other people love them. People who love them will love them as they are. Those who don’t love them will not love them even if they try to please these people. And many people will take advantage of the people who want or need to be loved by other people.

Most parents or caretakers don’t realize that it’s how they bring up the children that had caused the children to think and believe like that, to be suffering from love seeking, attention seeking, lack of something, missing something, or craving for something, and suffering from loneliness, low self-esteem, depression, boredom, meaninglessness, and so on, through out their entire life, unless/until they realize the truth that they don’t have to think and believe and suffer in such way. When they have their own family, that is also how they are going to bring up their children the way that how their parents brought them up, and most probably, their children will also end up like them, unless the children start to think for themselves and realize what is unconditional love from oneself towards oneself.

People also perceive the state of fullness or non-separateness, where one doesn’t need any other beings to be there to show love, attention and companionship, to be interacting with, to feel loved and meaningful, as something horrible or wrong. They think that these people who don’t need other beings being with them to be there for them, without feeling lonely, unloved, unworthy, meaningless, left out or bored, are impossible or insane or hard, and that these people must be so lonely and unhappy and live life meaninglessly for not needing anybody being there for them, where in truth, these people are peaceful, happy and live life meaningfully without being depending on other beings’ love, attention and companionship to life live meaningfully, or to feel loved and worthy, or to be free from loneliness and boredom.

Those who think and believe that they need to have other people’s love, attention and companionship to feel loved and worthy and meaningful, to not feel lonely and bored, are not free at all. But people don’t see that. And that’s their freedom of thinking and believe.

Doesn’t need anyone to be there for one to be happy and live life meaningfully, doesn’t mean that one is rejecting love and companionship from others, but, one will enjoy and appreciate all the love and companionship from others that are available in the present moment, without craving or clinging onto the love and companionship from others to be who they are, to feel happy and meaningful, or not. And when there is absence of love and companionship from others, one is still peaceful and happy and live life meaningfully as one is.

If people still can’t understand this, no one can make them understand. One has to realize this by oneself through direct experience and self-realization. Even some yoga and meditation teachers also don’t understand this. They teach about in order to counter loneliness, boredom, meaninglessness, depression, low self-esteem, or unworthiness, people need to have more friends to interact with, to play with, to communicate with, to share with. And it’s okay.

Be free.